Alright, we’re on to the next Ring of Honor show after Unscripted. This is Glory By Honor I, held on October 5th, 2002 at the Murphy Recreation Center. As a reminder of who the champions are, all the belts are held by The Prophecy, with Christopher Daniels & Donovan Morgan winning the ROH World Tag Team titles in that tournament, and Xavier beating Low Ki for the ROH World Title. Our hosts are Jeff Gorman and Chris Levi, with Steve Corino having left the announce booth as part of his (concluding) feud with Rudy Boy Gonzalez.

Match #1: Divine Storm (Chris Divine & Quiet Storm) vs. Special K (Izzy & Dixie) vs. The SAT (Jose & Joel Maximo) vs. Homicide in a Scramble Match

Homicide is wrestling alone as Boogaloo was injured at the hands of the Carnage Crew at the last show, and he’s not cleared to wrestle. Well… that’s the worked explanation. The real reason is that he signed an exclusive deal with XPW, but ROH wants to leave the door open for his return. In the mean time, Frack Rob Black. We start out with Special K getting the crap stomped out of them, with everyone getting their shots in, and Chris Divine’s valet/girlfriend hitting a moonsault on Elax (the 3rd member of Special K) before escorting him to the back. Basically, as this is a scramble match, there are no tags. One man goes out of the ring, another man goes in, one fall to a finish. In short, this is a very fast paced spotfest which I’m probably going to lose track of.

Finally, we get some order with Izzy and Joel Maximo in the ring. We get some good chain quick wrestling between the two, with Joel locking a Figure 4 on Izzy, who reaches the ropes. Joel & Izzy tag out, with Jose and Quiet Storm coming in. Lucha Libre chain again, with Jose getting the best of it. Jose and Storm come out, Divine and Homicide come in. Homicide gets a 2-count off a shoulder-breaker, but Dixie breaks it up. Joel comes in, locks Dixie in a torture rack. Izzie comes in, looks to break up the hold, but Jose stops him and sets up a sort of Torture Rack-Boston Crab-Camel Clutch combo with his brother called the Taffy Machine. Meanwhile, Homicide hits the Ace Crusher on Divine and applies a crossface. Storm comes in and applies a crossface on Homicide. Eventually everyone releases the holds when they realize this is getitng rather silly.

We now get the obligatory brawl on the outside with everyone hitting their planchas, topes, and other inside-out moves. During all this we get the occasional near-fall on the inside. We get the Maximo Explosion for 2. Divine hits a modified Manhattan drop into a dragon screw into a leglock that gets broken up. Frell it, I’m just going to call the submission or pin. homicide hits Dixie with the Cop Killa, and then locks Izzy in the STF.

Winner: Homicide by submission at 13:52.
Rating: Overbooked in spots, but otherwise impressive and innovative . ***1/2.

After the match, Trent Acid and Johnny Kashmere (aka the Backseat Boys) of CZW hit the ring with a baseball bat and call out Homicide. Homicide calls for any tag partner from the back, and he gets Steve Corino.

Match #2: Homicide & Steve Corino vs. The Backseat Boyz

Corino & Homicide work the Boyz over in their corner. Things get turned around briefly. Anyway, we get both teams brawling in the ring until Homicide gets DDT’d on the apron, leaving Corino alone with Acid and Kashmere. Kashmere gets a 2-count . Acid ends up on the outside fighting with Homicide while Kashmere and Corino continue on the inside.  Kashmere hits a modified surfboard but to no avail. Kashmere intends to hit a plancha to take out Homicide, but Corino hits a savate kick and a northern lights bomb for 2.

Finally, Homicide & Acid return to the ring. The Boyz get worked over briefly, before regaining control with a pair of spears. Corino locks the Cobra Clutch on Kashmere, until Acid breaks it up with a Yakuza kick and gets a 2-count before Homicide makes the save. Homicide goes for the Cop Killa, but it’s reversed intoa blue Thunder Driver for 2. The Boyz hit their tag team move, the Cosmic Atomic on Corino, but Homicide breaks up the pin.

Homicide hits an exploder on Kashmere, and Corino hits a Fisherman’s Superplex on Acid, followed by a splash by Homicide. Homicide goes for the Cover, but Corino pushes him of and goes for the cover himself, with Kashmere breaking it up. Further, when Homicide goes to save Corino, he accidentally hits him instead. Homicide goes for teh Cop Killa on Kashmere, but Korino kicks Homicide and leaves. The Backseat Boyz hit the T Gimmick on Homicide and get the pin.

Winner: The Backseat Boyz by pinfall at 6:44.
Rating: **1/2 – Good, solid tag match until the very end.

Match #3: The Christopher Street Connection & Allison Danger (w/ Japanese Pool Boy) vs. Joey Matthews, Christian York, and Alexis Laree

Matthews, York and Laree jump the CSC. Finally, we get some order with Mace & York in the ring. Gutbuster & Senton for 2 by York. Matthews is tagged in. Matthews and Mace chain for a bit, and then Buff E. gets the tag. Spinebuster and low-blow headbutt by Buff for the 2-count. Mace gets the tag and the CSC hits a combo bulldog and sidewalk slam for 2. Matthews reverses a suplex to an inverted DDT and gets the tag to Alexis, and she is a Casa… En… Fuego! Tornado DDT for 2 on Mace. CSC recovers though and hits the Gay Basher and tags in Allison, who gets the pin.

Winner: The CSC by pinfall at 4:45.
Rating: * – Meh.

After the match, Japanese Pool Boy gets the stuffing beat out of him. We get a promo with James Maritato about why he wants to end the FBI gimmick (and it bears wrestling that this is his last match in ROH before he goes to WWE… where he ends up wrestling under the FBI gimmick), and if he wins this match, the gimmick dies. Uh-huh.

Match #4: Tony Mamaluke vs. James Maritato (Winner gets the FBI gimmick)

Mamaluke cheap shots James.  Great chain wrestling from both men. Lots and lots of submission holds. 2-count off a Sicilian Slice by Maritato. Mamaluke goes for a superplex but gets shoved off and hit with a missile drop-kick for 2. Maritato gets another 2-count off the Kiss Of Death. Finally, Mamaluke hits a superplex into a Butterfly lock, which Maritato taps out to.

Winner and new holder of the FBI Gimmick: Tony Mamaluke at 8:30.
Rating: ***1/2. Not bad at all. I could see these two guys wrestler for an half hour. Seriously, these guys wrestling are like RVD vs. Jerry Lynn or Masato Tanaka & Mike Awesome – it never gets old.

Match #5: Ikuto Hidaka vs. The Amazing Red

This is going to be crazy. We get some fast chain wrestilng. Hidaka gets a few moves in before Red gets control. So, this goes back and forth,a nd then it goes to the flor, then back to the ring, and then back down again. Red goes for a Tope, but gets hit with a drop kick on the way down. Hidaka takes Red back to the ring and starts to work the legs. Hidaka goes up top and gets nailed y a corkscrew kick by Red. Red eat a DDT but counters a vaulting move with another corkscrew kick that sends Hidaka to the outside. Red goes for a suicide senton and misses, though Hidaka sells it anyway. Red gets Hidaka back in the ring, hits a body scissors to a Fujiwara armbar, but Hidaka reaches the ropes.

More chain wrestling. Red misses the Red Star Press, but gets a 2-count off an Enziguri. Hidaka gets an elevated Drop kick, and Red rolls out of the ring. Red comes in and Hidaka starts working the leg. German suplex into a leg lock by Hidaka (never seen that one before), but Red reaches the ropes. Lots of quick near falls. Hidaka goes for a powerbomb buuuuttttt… (say it with me now) You Can’t Powerbomb Red! Red goes up and not only hits the Infra-Red, but the Red Star Press just for good measure, and gets the pin.

Winner: The Amazing Red by pinfall at 13:41.
Rating: **** – Very good, and would have been even better with a few more minutes, and possibly a feud to build it up.

Match #6: Don Juan vs. Fast Eddie (c) for the ETW TV Title

Both men are students at the Texas Wrestling Acadamy, and this is an exhibition match for them, with Rudy Boy Gonzalez at ringside. Some very nie chain wrestling to start. Apparently Eddie is legally blind. Let it not be said that the disabled can’t do well in wrestling. Great chain wrestling. Juan misses a spear and gets knocked to the outside, and Eddie hits an Asai moonsault! Eddie throws Juan in the ring and goes for a springboard something but gets caught and eats an Ace Crusher for 2. Juan goes up top, but Eddie hits a backflip knee strike and then a fallaway Samoan drop for the pin.

Winner and still ETW TV Champion: Fast Eddie by Pinfall at 3:23.
Rating: *** – very good. I hope both of these guys have promicing careers ahead of them.

After the match, Biohazard and Michal Shane rush the ring and attack Juan and Eddie. Corino comes out next, and talks smack to Rudy Boy Gonzalez. Gonzalez attacks Corino with a microphone, and the previously booked Texas Death Match is on.

Match #7: Texas Death Match – Rudy Boy Gonzalez vs. Steve Corino.

Rudy retains control. Steve is already bust open. Corino gets pinned but gets back to his feet at 6. Rudy takes Steve outside the ring and beats him against the guard rail. Rudy tries to dive/splash on Steve, but Steve moves and regains control. The fight returns to the ring and now Rudy is bleeding. The fight goes back and out of ther ing again, then back in, and Corino tires a cover but gets 2. God, Corino’s blond hair is turning red. Corino applies the Cobra Clutch and chokes Rudy out.

Winner: Steve Corino by knockout at 8:04.
Rating: **1/2. I’m no longer a big fan of the Hardcore style necessarily, unless both parties are bringing something special, and this wasn’t it.

Shane, Biohazard, and Corino continue the assault after the match, but Paul London makes the save with a ladder. Just for good measure, he takes out Shane and Biohzazard with a running senton up the ladder that was leaned against the turnbuckle.

Match #8: Samoa Joe vs. Low Ki (Fight Without Honor).

This is Joe’s first ROH match, and he’s debuting as the Prophecy’s hired gun. We’re starting off with striking before they lock up. Ki and Jo trie to ground and pound. Joe locks Ki in a half crap, and continues working the knee. We continue with strikes. Very MMA-like – except I’m not too enthused with MMA. God, theyr’e beating the crap out of each other. Finally, after a load of 1 counts, Joe gets a 2-count off a German Suplex. Ki hits a load of strikes but only gets 2. Tiger Suplex for 2. They just keep striking. There’s not much more I can do to call this. Ki finally gets the win after a massive flurry of strikes.

Winner: Low Ki by pinfall at 16:23.
Rating: **1/2 – I’m not a fan of the strike heavy MMA at the moment. Maybe if I watched more UFC or K1 or something I’d like this more, but this just isn’t my thing at the present.

After the match, Joe and Low Ki shake hands. We also see, I belive, Prince Nana beating the crap out of Elax. Dunn & Marcos come out and talk smack at Nana, but Mysterious Black Dude from Unscripted comes into the ring and cleans house.

Match #9: Jay Briscoe vs. Xavier (Non-title match)

Mark suggested this match to Daniels, because Daniels wanted a loser to put Xavier against. Both men lock up, and Xavier and Briscoe chain wrestle, with neither man able to get the advantage. Finally, Jay ends up locked ina  leglock, but Jay breaks out. The chain wrestling,continues, with the announcers briefly mentioning ROH’s upcoming #1 Contender’s trophy, as part of their attempt to counter The Prophecy’s won’t-defend-the-title shenanigans. Anyway. Briscoe gets a 2-count on a big kick. Xavier gets a 2-count off a lariat. Jay gets a 2-count off an exchange of blows, and Xavier gets another 2 Count of a torture rack drop.

Briscoe regains control with a Death Valley Driver, and then lariats Xavier out of the ring. Jay goes for a flying double axe handle but misses and eats the guard rail. Xavier then sends Jay on a Magellan-like circuit of the ringside area. Xavier brings Jay back in the ring and ties him into the Tree of Woe. Spear! Jesus – Rhyno and Edge were never so brutal. Inverted Top Rope DDT for 2.

Briscoe gets a 2-count off a German Suplex, then after some exchanges hits a seated facebuster and gets 2 off a top rope leg drop. Xavier locks on a modified cobra clutch in to a cobra suplex. We suddenly get (apparently) clipped for some reason, and Jay Briscoe gets the pin with the Jay Driller.

Winner: Jay Briscoe by pinfall at 13:19.
Rating: *** – It was looking like a good match, but the apparent clipping hurt it. That said, the match really told a good story, with Xavier not quite taking Jay seriously at first, and then trying to fight back later, after he realized he was in for more of a challenge.

Match #10: Falls Count Anywhere – The Carnage Crew (HC Loc & DeVito) vs. Da Hit Squad (Mafia & Monster Mack).

Da Hit Squad enters through the fans. I’m going to have difficulty calling this match because, well, this is going to end up like a Public Enemy match – a lot of hitting people with stuff, not a lot of actual wrestling. Oh, and it’s going to go everywhere in the arena. Which it does do. Ultimately, Mafia gets piledriven off the hard camera postition thorough a table, onto the hard gym floor for the pin.

Winner: The Carnage Crew by pinfall at 7:53.
Rating: ** – Your standard hardcore brawl, but with bad camera work. Seriously, with the ECW arena, the camera position was such that no matter where the brawl went, you could generally tell what was going on, more or less.

After the match, Mafia is apparently injured. Meanwhile, Joey Matthews is out of it, and apparently Special K knows why.

Match #11: 3-Way Dance for the “Showstopper” Name – Spanky vs. Michael Shane vs. Paul London

London and Spanky work Shane over until they have a few mis-communications too many and turn on each other. Spanky gets 2 off a baseball slide. Shane ejects Spanky and works over London. 2-count off an Enziguri. London manages to regain control and hits 2 northern lights suplexes and a blizzard suplex for 2.

Shane regains control and hits a hangman’s neckbreaker for 2. London hits a shooting star press (off of Spanky) for 2. Spanky dropkicks London for 2. London goes up top, gets kicked off the top rope. Shane suplexes Spanky to the outside, but Spanky hangs on to the rope. Spanjky skins the cat and just in time, as Shane goes for a baseball slide and hits London instead. Spanky hits a pescado on Shane. London goes up next for an Asai Moonsault and gets caught.

Shane works over Spanky on the outside, and London clocks Shane. the fight returns oto the ring and London gets a 2-count. Finally, after much back and forth. Spanky hits Sliced Bread 32, but Shane superkicks Spanky so Shane can pin london at 10:20. So, we now have Spanky and Shane fighting on the outside. SHane takes it back in the ring and covers but only gets 2. The fight goes back outside, then back inside. Spanky goes for a diving elbow drop but gets drop kicked for 2. Shane applies a headlock but SPanky responds with one of his own. Shane hits a second rope elbow for 2. Shane hits Sliced Bread #2 but lands too far away and can’t capitalize. They continue fighting, fairly evenly. Spanky gets a 2-count off an Enziguri. Frog splash for 2. Shane gets a 2-count off a floating DDT. Shane hits a super kick and the picture picture perfect elbo for the pin.

Winner: Michael Shane by pinfall at 19:27.
Rating: **** – Very awesome match.

After the match Shane cuts a promo which I can’t hear because their mixing sucks. Basically, he entered in the match to keep anyone else from referring to themselves as the Showstopper, and he’s not going to use the name anyway. Okey then.

Match #12: Christopher Daniels (w/ Simply Luscious) vs. Doug Williams. If Williams wins, he can never shake hands in ROH again. If Daniels wins, he must shake hands.

Obviously, no handshake here. We get chain wrestling to start. daniels starts working the arm, while Williams works the leg. Doug is really working over Daniels. Daniels Regains control and gets a 2-count off a series of elbow drops. Another 2-count off a russian leg sweep. Williams goes for the Chaos Theory, but Daniels reverses it into a Stunner. Daniels covers but only gets 2. Williams briefly regains control, but Daniels gets 2 off an Inverted Atomic Drop & neckbreaker. Williams gets 2 off a floating DDT. Springboard Knee drop for 2. Spinning Fisherman Buster for 2. Daniels breaks out of the Chaos Theory and hits a STO. Daniels gets 2 off a Blue THunder Bomb. 2 Count out of the Best Moonsault Ever. Finally, after a series of near falls, Williams hits the Chaos Theory but Daniels rolls through the pin attempt and gets a 3-count using the ropes for leverage.

Winner: Christopher Daniels by pinfall at 13:14.
Rating: ***1/2 – Pretty good, but I would have liked more time.

After the match, Dick Togo comes out and nails Daniels with his crutch, and Jay Briscoe hits the Jay Driller, and the faces celebrate. After the show, James asks Tony to wrestle serious, or at least give it a try. The Prophecy cuts a promo on Jay Briscoe, and tries to recruit Steve Corino, who prefers to stick to his own agenda.

ECW: One Night Stand

Where & When: The Hammerstein Ballroom – New York City, June 16^th, 2005.

Commentary: Joey Styles & Mick Foley

We start the show off with the introductions of Mick & Joey. Joey in particular looks rather choked up on his way out to the ring, though he does the cocky-heel foot wipe and kick on his way in the ring – though I can imagine he’s really pumped up. Say, Faith No More Guy is there! Big Joey Chant and a pop for “Oh My God!” Foley comes out to his WWE Cactus Jack music. My god, Joey comes up to Mick’s shoulder. I never realized how tall Foley really is. Either that or Joey’s really short.

Lance Storm w/ Dawn Marie vs. “Lionheart” Chris Jericho

This was, at the time, planned to be Storm’s last match. Appropriate since Jericho was Storm’s first opponent. Not only is Jericho wearing his old Lionheart vest, he’s wearing the Lionheart tights too – I wonder if he had to get a new set made or if he had the old ones in mothballs in his closet somewhere.

Jericho and Storm shake hands and lock up with some lightning fast chain wrestling. Jericho grapevines Storm’s legs and locks on a bow and arrow into a 2-count as the ECW fans chant “She’s a crack whore” at Dawn Marie. Classy. Storm gets sent to the outside by Jericho. Jericho goes for a double axehandle off the apron but misses and ribs meets steel. Ribs, meet steel. Steel – meet! Ribs! Nah, it doesn’t have the same ring to it. Sorry Minsc.

2-count off a drop kick by Storm. We get our first “Fuck ‘em up” chant for Storm as he holds Jericho up in a vertical suplex. 2-count off the delayed vertical suplex. Storm starts to work Jericho over in the corner, Jericho Canadian whips (Joey’s words, not mine – though I agree with the sentiment – why call it an “Irish” whip) Storm out of the corner. Storm springboards off the top rope but Jericho sees it coming and drop kicks him in the upper back and head! We now get our first scatological chant of the evening.

Enziguri from Jericho, chained standing switches into a series of 2-counts, to a 2-count off a full nelson suplex. More chain wrestling. Storm goes for a cradle piledriver, reversed into a back drop. Storm hits a 2-count off a super kick. Storm sets up Jericho up on the top rope, but gets thrown off. Flying back elbow off the top by Jericho for 2. Jericho locks on the single-leg Calgary Crab (single-leg Boston crab). Jericho goes to reverse it into the Walls, can’t apply it, so he slingshots him, and hits a running bulldog. Jericho goes for the Lionsault, but Storm counters by getting the knees up, and Jericho counter-counters by applying the Walls once again. Storm taps as Dawn Marie distracts the ref. In comes Jason Knight and Justin Credible of the Impact Players, forcing Jericho to release the hold to deal with them. Jericho rolls up Storm, Storm kicks out, shoving Jericho into the ropes where he gets caned by Justin. Storm covers and gets the pin.

Winner: Lance Storm by pinfall by shenanigans at 7:24.

Rating: *** – Such a promising match, until the lame ending, and it was Storm’s last match too, until he got his real last match in Ring of Honor.

After the match, The Impact Players pose in the ring. Between matches, Joey Styles goes over, briefly, the Raw/Smackdown Crusader invasion. We then go to Pitbull Gary Wolfe to introduce a video package for those ECW alums who passed away between the end of ECW and One Night Stand, such as Rocco Rock, Mike Lockwood, Terry “Bam Bam” Gordy, The Original Sheik, Mike Lozansky, Pitbull Anthony Durante, Big Dick Dudley & Chris Candido.

International Three Way Dance: Tajiri (w/ Sinister Minister & Mikey Whipwreck) vs. Little Guido (W/ J.T. Smith, Big Guido, Tony Mamaluke, and Tracy Smothers) vs. Super Crazy

It amuses me seeing Tracy Smothers in the F.B.I, as before he came to ECW, he wrestled in Smokey Mountain Wrestling as “The Wild-Eyed Southern Boy”. Little Guido goes after Super Crazy first, before he gets tossed out of the ring by Tajiri, who starts chain wrestling with SC. SC rolls out of the ring, and Nunzio (Sorry Little Guido, but it’s easier for me to call you Nunzio) comes in, goes for the arm submissions on Tajiri, only for Super Crazy to come in and moonsault Nunzio. This is going to be fast.

More chain wrestling between the three, with both Tajiri and Nunzio going for sunset flips on Super Crazy, but You Can’t Sunset Flip Super Crazy, as he rolls through both times and gives both men a drop-kick to the mush. Tajiri gets a base ball slide, and Super Crazy gets up a head of steam to fly, only to have his feet taken out from under him by Tony Mamaluke. Crazy goes out of the ring, and the brawl goes to the outside and into the fans, leading to a balcony dive by Crazy onto the entire FBI! Holy Shit! Or, rather, as Joey says, Oh Dios Mio!

Crazy returns to the ring and poses for the fans, only to get locked in the Tarantula by Tajiri. Nunzio returns to the ring now as well, while Super Crazy does the mounted punches in the corner to Tajiri. The FBI makes their presence known again, by taking Super Crazy’s feet out from under him in the turnbuckle again and then crotching him on the ring post. Big Guido comes in and sets Tajiri up for a doomsday device, but Nunzio gets the mist, and Sinister Minister takes down Big Guido. Tajiri’s educated feet take out Tracy Smothers and Mikey Whipwreck hits the Whippersnapper on Nunzio for 3, eliminating Nunzio, leaving us with Super Crazy and Tajiri.

Chain wrestling between Tajiri and Crazy, springboard moonsault for 2 by Super Crazy. Super Crazy goes for a power bomb, but You Can’t Powerbomb Tajiri as he reverses it into a Tornado DDT for 2! The fans start a “Super Crazy” chant. Tajiri goes for a vertical suplex but it’s reversed into a fireman’s carry slam. Crazy goes for the 3 levels of moonsaults! Hits the 1^st, 2^nd, and Mikey shoves crazy off the top rope. Tajiri goes for the buzzsaw kick but Crazy ducks it and power bombs Tajiri, before going up to the top rope for the final moonsault of the series for 3.

Winner: Super Crazy by pinfall with a top rope moonsault at 6:16.

Rating: *** – Very nice wrestling, but it could have stood for more time, which I’ll get into later.

We get another ECW video package.

Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio

Psicosis takes off his mask as he comes to the ring. Rey Rey wrestles masked. For the record, Fuck you WCW, and fuck you Vince Russo. That is all.

Both men circle up and lock up, and we get some chain technical wrestling, between the two. This is a lot slower then their usual stuff, both from old-school ECW and WCW, but also in Mexico as well. The fans start a “put your mask on” chant at Psicosis. Psicosis hits a huge Irish whip into the corner for 2. 2-count for Mysterio after a moonsault press. Psicosis locks on a sleeper on Rey to boos from the fans. Psicosis throws Rey to the mat and gets a 2-count. The fight goes to the outside, and Psicosis hangs Rey up on the guard rail, and then hits the Psycho Guillotine on Rey and throws him in the ring for 2.

More chain wrestling, Psicosis goes for a dropkick into Ray in the corner, misses. Rey gets a 2-count after driving Rey face first into the canvas. Rey set up in the corner again, Psicosis goes for a running shoulder block into the corner, Rey gets out of the way and not only does Psicosis eat the steel, he bounces off the steel out into ringside and the audience. Ow! Rey goes up top, and Drops the Dime to the outside! Holy Shit! Both men return to the ring, and Rey hits a springboard drop kick that leaves Psicosis hung up on the second rope. You know what’s coming. 619! West Coast Pop! 1! 2! 3!

Winner: Rey Mysterio by pinfall with the 619 + West Coast Pop at 6:23.

Rating: *** – Slow start, but it really picked up towards the end.

And enter Smackdown’s contribution to the Anti-ECW crusaders, lead by JBL and Kurt Angle. We then go to another ECW video package, and from there go to Joel Gertner going to talk to the Smackdown crusaders, only to have Kurt smack him around and take his mike and cut an anti-ECW promo, to get interrupted by Rob Van Dam and Bil Alfonzo! I think we’ve gone about 10-15 minutes without any actual wrestling. However, it’s an awesome shoot promo. I found some YouTube video of it, but it’s over-dubbed in Spanish. If someone can find it in the original English, feel free to post a link in the comments.

Anyway, following the promo, Rhyno comes in and attacks RVD, and the lights go out, and Sabu comes in for the rescue. We have a ref, and we have a match.

Sabu (w/ Rob Van Dam & Bill Alfonzo) vs. Rhyno

Rhyno and Sabu circle up. And chain wrestle a little. Rhyno goes up top, and Sabu hits Rhyno with a steel chair, knocking him to ringside. Baseball slide, and Sabu sets up a chair, and Air Sabu takes to the air and connects with a springboard suicide splash! Sabu smacks the crap out of Rhyno on the outside with a steel chair. Rhyno shoulder blocks Sabu in the corner, and hits a running kick on Sabu in the middle rope as well. Rhyno goes back up again, but Sabu catches him and hits a frankensteiner and a slingshot leg lariat for 2. Rhyno gets set up in the corner and eats a Whisper In The Wind (I believe that’s what Jeff Hardy calls it), and Rhyno falls out of the corner and throat first onto Sabu’s chair.

Leg drop off the chair by Sabu for 2. Sabu goes for the triple-jump moonsault but Rhyno trips up Sabu and Sabu’s head goes *ping* off the chair. Rhyno hits a fireman’s carry slam on the chair for 2. Rhyno back powerbombs Sabu (sort of) into the top turnbuckle. Rhyno goes for the gore on Sabu, but Sabu evades and John “Pee Wee” Moore takes the full force of the Gore instead. G’night Peewee.

Sabu gets piledriven, but RVD is in and clocks Rhyno with the chair. Rhyno rolls to the corner to collect himself, but RVD gets the chair and skateboards it into Rhyno’s face! Fonzie brings a table in the ring, RVD and Fonzie set Rhyno up on the table, and Sabu gets a chair. Arabian Skullcrusher through the table! Sabu covers and gets the pin.

Winner: Sabu by pinfall with an Arabian Skullcrusher at 6:31.

Rating: *** – Alright match, though not one of Sabu’s best.

We go backstage to Al Snow who introduces another video package, before the Raw half of the crusaders come in, lead by Eric Bischoff and Edge enter.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

On the one hand this is going to be one helluva match, but it’s going to be bittersweet considering the fact that both men are no longer with us under tragic circumstances for different reasons.

Both men lock up and give us some excellent chain wrestling, as the fans chant “I fucked Lita” at Edge. Excellent wrestling between the two men, before Eddie rolls out of the ring to re-group and get a breather. Eddie returns to the ring as Edge gets “You screwed Matt” changed at him. The chain wrestling continues, with Eddie and Benoit trading chops. Now, finally, we get a “Let’s go Eddie/Let’s Go Benoit” chant battle.

Eddie breaks out of a side headlock with a belly-to-back suplex. Eddie is bust open slightly by his nose. Eddie locks a cross-face hold in on Benoit while the fans chant “Fuck you Bischoff”. The fight goes to the outside after Eddie dodges a shoulder block, and Eddie finally starts taking advantage of extreme rules, with a chair shot to Benoit. Guerrero goes for a superplex and connects. Eddie goes up top and goes for the Frog Splash but Benoit rolls out of the way.

The two men trade really stiff chops, and Benoit gets a 2-count off a Northern Lights suplex. Benoit sets up Eddie up on the top rope, and hits a superplex of his own for 2. Benoit goes for the hat trick German Suplexes before going up top and hitting the Flying Headbutt and covers for 2. Guerrero gets a 2-count off a roll-up, before Benoit applies the Crippler Crossface and Eddie taps out.

Winner: Chris Benoit by submission with the Crippler Crossface at 10:37.

Rating: **** – Very nice match. It wasn’t quite a clinic, more like a seminar, but they had the time to do it in.

Another commercial, leading to another segment with Joel Gertner and Bischoff instead, leading to a Bischoff anti-ECW promo.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Joey Styles cuts a shoot promo against Awesome, which is a little unfortunate considering Awesome is no longer with us. Awesome and Tanaka chain wrestle and the fight goes to the outside with a suicide dive by Awesome (which, in retrospect, that move is rather unfortunately named.) Awesome gets back dropped into the first row and gets a big chair shot.

Awesome gets whipped into the guard rail and the fans in the front row get their beers spilled on their pants. Awesome regains control and sets up a table outside the ring, and Awesome Bombs Tanaka off the apron through the table, and it looks like it didn’t hit quite right. Awesome drags Tanaka back in the ring and hits the Awesome splash for 2. Awesome goes for a piledriver, Tanaka reverses into a back drop but Awesome holds on and powerbombs Tanaka. Awesome goes looking for more stuff to bring the hurt with and gets another chair, but Tanaka’s got one of his own, and we get dueling chairs. Tanaka takes 3 chair shots to go down, but not for long. Float-over neckbreaker by Tanaka. Tanaka sets up some chairs up in the corner and hits a tornado DDT on the chairs for 2.

Tanaka sets 1 chair on Awesome and hits him with another, and then does a chair assisted elbow drop off the top for 2. German Suplex by Awesome followed by a Awesome Spear. Awesome goes up top with the chair, and hits a flying chair shot. Awesome goes back outside for more table. Awesome goes for a superplex through the table, but Tanaka reverses it into a Tornado DDT through the table. Tanaka goes back up top, and Awesome Bombs Tanaka back onto the remainders of the table.

Awesome sets up another table as the fans chant “This Match Rules”. Awesome Bomb through the table on the outside followed by a over the top-rope Awesome Splash! We get a cover and a pin.

Winner: Mike Awesome with an suicide dive at 10:10.

Rating: **** – Excellent match.

After the match we get a Paul Heyman shoot promo. I’ll try to find a YouTube link for that one too… here we go!

The Dudley Boys vs. Tommy Dreamer & The Sandman

Start: 2:07:02. Finish: 2:17:17.

Here we have the first of our significant alterations – the Dudleys’ Entrance music has been changed to Get The Tables, but the sound editing muffles the ring announcing and the fan noise, the other being the editing of the Sandman’s entrance music to a generic metal instrumental instead of “Enter Sandman” as well as the editing of any commentary related to, say, the fans singing along. Or, for that matter, the fans singing along.

However, before the match can actually start, we get the Blue World Order making an appearance. My God, Meanie is whiter than most marshmallows! The faces get attacked by the bWo, only to have Kid Kash and the Hardcore Chair Swinging Freaks coming in for the save. The Heels and the Freaks and Kash brawl to the back, and we finally get a match.

Dreamer’s got a cheese grater and starts to get to work on Bubba, but Bubba reverses to a belly-to-back suplex. Bubba lays into Dreamer with a road sign, before going looking for that cheese grater, and shredding Dreamer’s forehead. Jesus! And he’s using the slicing side of the grater. Dreamer is wearing the crimson mask! Bubba rubs his hand over Dreamer’s face and smears it on his own. Double-team hangman’s neckbreaker on Dreamer, and Sandman comes in with a Ladder, who gives it to Dreamer who helicopters it and takes out the Dudleys.

Dreamer takes the grater to Bubba, as turnabout is fair play. Meanwhile D-Von gets drop-toe holded into a trash can. Sandman covers D-Von for 2. The irony of Joey saying how these guys love each other like brothers right before Tommy smacks Bubba with a cookie sheet does not escape me. None of the wrestlers in the ring right now are blood free. Bubba hits a frog splash on Sandman on the ladder for 2. Sandman evades a caning by D-Von and hits a White Russian Leg Sweep. Dreamer and Sandman apply Figure-4 leglocks on the Dudleys as the fans “Woo.”

The Impact Players run in with a barbed wire sphere and Justin Credible hits a That’s Incredible to Sandman on the barbed wire. They then set up Dreamer as Francine comes in and kicks Dreamer right between the uprights. Beulah McGillicutty is here! Beulah (Tommy’s now real-life wife) is here! Beulah lays into Francine and we have a cat fight! Lance Storm gets a kick between the up-rights from Beulah and the Players are ejected. Dreamer (who is wearing about a millimeter of blood on his face) and Beulah share a heartwarming hug in the middle of the ring. Awww! Isn’t that sweet.

The Dudleys go to break up the moment, only to taste a double DDT by the happy couple, followed by a 2-count. The couple that beats the crap out of their enemies together stays together, I always say. Dreamer and Sandman crush D-Von’s grapefruits with a steel chair, only to have Bubba come in and break things up. Bubba gets the table and sets it up. Sandman is powerbombed through the table, but only for 2. Dreamer eats a 3-D, and the Dudleys go for a table again, and they cal for LSD with the lighter fluid! They set the table on fire and powerbomb Dreamer through the table for 3.

Winner: The Dudley Boys by pinfall at 10:15.

Rating: **** – Very nice hardcore match. Not quite to the par of some of Dreamer’s best stuff, but that was still pretty impressive.

From here on out, there is no actual wrestling. Austin comes out, as do all of the ECW wrestlers from the back. We get a brawl between the ECW wrestlers and the Crusaders, and the Crusaders end up fleeing with their tails between their legs. Bischoff gets ejected from the building by the Dudleys after getting a Flying Headbutt, a 619, and a Stone Cold Stunner. Afterwards, the wrestlers in the ring have a beer bash, as we go off the air.

Overall Rating: *** – There were just way too many promos and video packages here. We needed like, 1 20 minute match here. Something nice and long, in the style of old-school ECW. We didn’t get it. At all. The matches were too short, the talkie bits were too long. As RVD said in his promo, they didn’t even need a storyline, but we got one anyway.

Bonus features on the DVD: Spanish language commentary (which could be interesting to listen too, Spanish language speakers, I’d like to hear your feedback on the commentary), some promo videos that were used to promote the event, and, from the point that the Smackdown wrestlers came in, we have audio from the balcony with JBL, who was miked much of the show. His remarks are in-character, meaning in the general vein of “Heel” and more then a little racist (for example, referring to Masato Tanaka as “His doorman”).

Get ECW: One Night Stand 2005 at Amazon.com

My apologies for the delay between posts. My computer’s been down for a few weeks, but now it’s back up so now it’s time for a right proper recap, and I’ve got several events lined up – ya see, The G1 Climax tournament happened in NJPW earlier this month, and I’ve got a fair chunk of it (about 5 out of 7 days), so I’ll be recapping that, starting with Day 3, 8/13/2008 (I haven’t gotten all of Day 2, the 11th yet, and I’m missing Day 1, the 9th entirely).

Quick run-down: the G1 Climax is a round-robin tournament, divided into 2 blocks. The winner of each block faces the other in a 1-fall match. Whoever wins that match wins the tournament.

NJPW “G1 CLIMAX 2008 “HEROES OF SUPREMACY”

Time and Place: 8/13/08, Tokyo Korakuen Hall. This is Day 3 of the Tournament
Attendance: Sellout crowd of 2,050.

Special Tag Match – Tomokiro Ishii and Tomoaki Honma vs. Milano Collection AT and Satoshi Kojima

Milano and Kojima are basically pretty-boys (Kojima, however, is a member of heel stable Voodoo Murders in his native promotion of AJPW), and Ishii and Honma are tough-as-nails cheating heels, members of the stable GBH (Great Bash Heel, referred to by the fans as Great Big Head). The heels jump the faces before the bell and the brawl quickly goes to the outside and into the fans before returning to the ring, with Milano and Honma starting out.

Milano keeps control for a bit, and after some chanting by the fans, tags in Kojima. Kojima starts to work over Honma, only for Ishii to come in and start double teaming him. Kojima recovers and spikes Ishii with a DDT, but only for 1. Ishii gets worked over in the face corner and in comes Milano. Milano works on the arm, but Ishii gets to the ropes. Honma comes in, knocks Kojima off the apron and Milano gets Ricky Mortoned. Ishii and Milano get in a stiff chop battle, which Milano gets the worst of.

The Heels continue working over Milano’s groin behind the ref’s back, until Milano counters a double back drop with a kick to Honma, and then ducks a chop by Ishii (which hits Honma) and finally suplexes Ishii on Honma. Milano makes the tag, and Kojima is a House! En! Fuego! Ahh, it’s been a while since I used that one. Kojima sends Ishii to the corner and then chops the shit out of the bastard. Honma tries to make the save but Kojima sends him into the corner on top of Ishii, and then chops the shit out of him too, before tossing him to the outside. Kojima chops the shit out of Ishii again for good measure, and then whips him from coast to coast, and hits a high corner knee splash. Kojima then goes up top and hits a big elbow drop for 2.

Ishii and Kojima get in a chop battle, and Kojima starts to get the upper hand before trickery by Ishii allows them to recover. Ishii makes the tag and honma lays waste to the faces. Kojima gets wailed on for a bit before countering his way out of it. The faces double-team Honma but only get 2. Then the heels regain control, with Ishii basically tying Milano in the ropes in a submission hold (kinky) before trying to double-team Kojima. However, Kojima manages to send Honma out of the ring, and then ducks a lariat by Ishii and floors him with one of his own, and gets the pin.

Winner: Milano Collection AT and Satoshi Kojima by pinfall with a lariat at 9:11.
Rating: **** – Very nice start, and a better tag match than what I’ve seen stateside in a long time.

Block A: Wataru Inoue vs. Togi Makabe

Togi is one tough mother and head of GBH after he kicked out the founder, 4-time IWGP World Heavyweight Champion Hiroyoshi Tenzan. Togi currently has 4 wins. Inoue has none.

Inoue and Togi circle up, with Togi taking control early on with a significant strength advantage, particularly coming out on top in the Puro Shoulder Block Spot. The fight goes out of the ring to ringside. Togi appears to have the advantage, but loses it due to some nice maneuvering by Inoue. Inoue goes up on the apron and goes for a flying knee, but instead gets a steel chair to the shins (which the ref apparently didn’t see). The fight goes out to the stands until the Ref starts the 20-count and both sides return to the ring about as fast as they can. Togi continues to work over Inoue, but isn’t able to get more than a 2-count. Togi tries for a sleeper hold, but Inoue reaches the rope.

Togi remains in control. Inoue tries to “hulk up” but gets shut down, hard. Finally, Inoue regains control with a release German suplex and gets a 2-count off a… sort of Mitchinoku Driver (except it kind of turns into more of a facebuster… I guess I’ll call it a Mitchinoku Facebuster). Inoue gets Togi in a waistlock, but Togi breaks out with a low blow. Togi hits a powerbomb and goes for a pin but only gets 2. Togi grabs his chain he came out with and wraps it around his arm for a lariat, but Inoue manages to counter the move, and the ref quickly removes the chain from play. Inoue hits a bridging German suplex but only gets 2, and then another 2-count off a brainbuster. Inoue hits a pair of big chops and sets Togi up in the corner and goes for a splash, but Togi quickly switches places with the ref, who takes the brunt of it. Inoue tries to revive the ref, while Togi gets another chair and nails Inoue with it, and hits a lariat and covers, and looks up to see the ref still out. Togi gets this look on his face that seems to say “That’s not the smartest thing I ever did” ((c) bbcisdabomb), and hits a powerbomb and covers again. This time the ref is conscious and able to properly count a 2-count (as Inoue kicks out).

Togi hits a series of lariats for 2. Togi goes for a third lariat and only ends up having his head hit the canvas when Inoue reverses it into a backslide for 2. Inoue finally hits lariat number 3 and only gets a 2-count. Finally Togi just goes up top and hits the King Kong Knee Drop on Inoue’s ankle, drags him into the middle of the ring, and locks on a sitting figure-four leglock. Inoue has nowhere to go, and nothing else to do but tap.

Winner: Togi Makabe by submission with a kneeling figure-four at 13:00.
Rating: *** – Decent match, but a little too one-sided for my taste.

Block B: Hiroyoshi Tenzan vs. Hirooki Goto

Speaking of GBH, here’s their former leader, now turned face. His opponent, Goto, is a member of Shinsuke Nakamura’s stable, RISE. Both men have 2 wins.

Both men start off with some chain wrestling, with Tenzan taking control first and goes to work on Goto, with Goto regaining control with a lariat. Tenzan rolls to the outside to regroup, only to get knocked off the apron when he tries to get back in. Goto works on Tenzan on the outside before taking things back in the ring. Goto gets a 2-count, and continues working on the neck and back with a camel clutch, which Tenzan escapes by reaching the ropes. Goto continues working over that area with a series of big standing elbow drops.

Goto brings Tenzan to his feet and goes for a suplex, but Tenzan counters and tries to hit one of his own. After 2 attempts, Goto finally hits a Fisherman’s Slam. Goto then goes for the Shouten (vertical suplex side slam) but Tenzan reverses it into the Anaconda Vice! Goto quickly manages to squirm to the ropes, to escape. Tenzan picks him up and goes for the TTD (Tenzan Tombstone Driver) but his arm gives out. Goto goes for a piledriver, but Tenzan reverses it into a backdrop.

Goto goes for a lariat, but ends up eating a clothesline by Tenzan instead, followed by a pair of lariats for 2. Tenzan hits a back drop suplex and goes for another lariat, but again his arm prevents him from hitting full force. Goto goes for a lariat and bounces off. Tenzan and Goto go for simultaneous lariats and bounce off. Finally Goto goes for a 3rd try, and eats a Spinning Wheel Kick! Tenzan covers but only gets 2. Tenzan works over Goto some more, and goes to the top rope and hits a diving headbutt, but only gets 2. Tenzan goes up top again, but Goto recovers and catches him off the top rope, and hits a rope hang neckbreaker. Goto goes for the cover, but Tenzan’s feet are still on the ropes, so the ref breaks the pin. When Tenzan fails to respond the ref and ring doctor check Tenzan out and determine that he is out and unable to continue, and stop the match.

Winner: Hirooki Goto by referee stoppage following a rope hang neckbreaker at 12:43.
Rating: *** – It was shaping up to be a good match until the non-finish, though from Goto’s reaction, the injury either was legit, or if it was a work, he wasn’t satisfied with it.

Block A: Giant Bernard vs. Shinjiro Otani

Most of you will you know Giant Bernard as either A-Train or as (Prince) Albert in WWF/E. After he was discharged from WWE, he came first to AJPW as a member of Voodoo Murders and then jumped ship to New Japan. During his time in NJPW he won the IWGP Tag Team Championship with Travis Tomko, though they lost the belts in February. Both Bernard and Otani have 4 wins.

Both men lock out and Bernard practically shoves Otani clear across the ring. They lock on again, and Otani starts to work the arm, before Bernard pulls his arm out. Otani continues to use his speed to try and stay out of Bernard’s grasp. He does not always succeed. Otani proceeds to float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, until 331 lb (150kg) Giant Bernard finally connects with a shoulder block and a standing splash for 2.

Bernard continues to drop several elbows on Otani and then set him up in the corner and work him over a little there. Benard hits a backbreaker for 2. and continues to work over Otani’s head, neck, and back, locking on an neckwringer and an abdominal stretch before throwing Otani into the corner. Otani is bust open a little. Otani tries to gain some momentum with some big chops, but Bernard shuts him back down again. Bernard beats Otani from pillar to post, and Otani rolls to the outside to catch a breather, while Bernard stands tall in the ring.

Bernard finally goes outside to pursue his opponent, which turns out to be an mistake, as Otani’s speed and agility works to his benefit as he dodges an attempt by Bernard to lariat him into the ring post (thus Bernard runs into the ring post shoulder first instead). Now Otani grabs a chair and nails Bernard in the shoulder, and the crowd is starting to seriously turn on Otani. We’re starting to get some serious boos! Otani and Bernard return to the ring, and Otani works over Bernard’s arm and shoulder on the turnbuckle (illegal due to the use of the ropes). This is the most audible heat I’ve ever heard at a Japanese wrestling event.

Bernard makes his way to another corner and begs off further assault, but without success. After the ref cautions him from continuing with the submission holds, Otani decides to make nice with a nice plate of chops. Otani goes to whip Bernard from coast to coast, but Bernard reverses it, and then connects with a corner lariat, leaving Otani sprawled in the ring, and Bernard capitalizes with a corner slingshot splash, and goes for another, but Otani gets his boots up. Otani goes to capitalize, but gets slapped in the face so hard he’s left sitting in the corner.

Bernard goes for a series of boots followed by a running corner knee splash, but Otani recovers and kicks Bernard in the mush, leaving him in the same position. Otani, figuring that while he’s got smaller feet and weighs less he can still kick pretty hard, decides to show Bernard how you really do it, and connects! Bernard rolls to another corner, and Otani goes for an encore. Otani goes for a suplex but can’t lift him. Bernard tries to reverse it, but Otani locks on a waistlock and hits a German suplex and covers, but only gets 2 (what, did you think he was going to bridge that – yeah, and Brock Lesnar can F5 Akibono). Otani locks on a what appears to be an ashigatame (or seated armbar), working on the injured arm, but Bernard reaches the ropes. Otani bounces off the ropes, but runs right into a Chokebomb, but Bernard isn’t able to capitalize!

Otani recovers first, and staggers to his feet. They trade chops and forearms, but Otani gets the worst of it with a lariat to the back of the head. Bernard hits an Olympic slam and covers for 2. After kicking out, Otani quickly rolls to the ropes Otani starts to build some momentum with some big kicks to Bernard’s arm, and then locks that armbar back on. Bernard tries deperately to get his foot on the ropes but they’re just… out.. of reach… and he makes it!

Otani knows that he’s got Bernard (if you’ll pardon the expression) on the ropes and goes for a running some thing, but gets a Kenka kick (they’re not calling it a Yakuza kick anymore, the Yakuza complained). Bernard builds up some steam… Lariatooooooooo! Otani is hit on the chin, lands on his face, bounces on to his back. Cover, 1! 2! Kick out! Bernard hits a big corner splash on Otani, and hits the Bernard Bomb! 1! 2! 3!

Winner: Giant Bernard by pinfall with the Bernard Bomb at 14:12.
Rating: *** – Again, not great, but a great example of how you can mix two guys with differing styles (speedy technican* and power wrestler) and get a good/decent match.

*As opposed to the usual luchador or high fligher.

G1 Special Tag Team Match: Tiger Mask (IV) & Ryusuke Taguchi vs. Toshiaki Kawada & Taichi Ishikari

For those who don’t already know, Tiger Mask, no matter who wears the mask, is a face. Period. He’s like Captain America, or Superman. If you’re feuding with him and you don’t already know you’re the villain, you might want to rethink your position. Okay, maybe not exactly like that, but as a general rule, Tiger Mask doesn’t turn heel (at least in Japan). Tiger Mask IV is the current IWGP Junior Heavyweight Champion. Kawada and Ishikari are currently freelancers, currently frequenting NJPW and HUSTLE. Kawada is Ishikari’s mentor.

Taguchi and Ishikari start off with some chain wrestling with Ishikari takign control early on, and starting cheating right away, tying Taguchi up in the ropes, loading his boot, and drop kicking him, only for Taguchi to regain control and tag in Tiger Mask, who shows Ishikari that you don’t have to load your boot to kick hard, for he kicks with the Power Of JUSTICE! As an aside, who the hell loads their boot anymore these days? Really? I thought that went out with pointy-toed boots on Middle Eastern heels.

So, Ishikari, realizing he’s in trouble, tags in Kawada. Kawada and Tiger mask trade kicks and Tiger Mask takes the worst of it. Tiger Mask gets worked over in the corner, but some Justice Kicks get him a little momentum, before one kick from Kawada sends Tiger Mask into Ricky Mortonville. Ishikari ocmes back in and decides that kicking Tiger Mask isn’t the best idea, so goes for the submission stuff before deciding that stomping doesn’t count as kicking right? However, Tiger Mask covers, smokes Ishikari with two beautiful kicks, and tags in Taguchi. As an aside, someone needs to write a fanfic where El Santo (or Hijo Del Santo), Tiger Mask, and Batman (or maybe Blue Beetle III) team up and fight evil. It’d be awesome!

Taguchi gets some payback for those nasty kicks that Ishikari nailed him with earlier, working over the head back and neck, before tagging Tiger Mask back in again to do Justice’s work. Brainbuster suplex for 2. Taguchi is tagged back in to lock on a chinlock and continue working over Ishikari. Ishikari is sent for the ride, Taguchi goes for a back drop, Ishikari reverses into a sunset flip, Taguchi goes for a drop kick, misses, gets leg dropped, and Kawada gets the tag.

Kawada kicks Taguchi halfway across the ring, and suplexes him, kicks him in the back, and gets a 2 count. Kawada hits the, well, Kawada kicks and applies an Eastern Stretch. Tiger Mask tries to make the save but Ishikari tries to block him, which takes him about 2 seconds to stop before he literally kicks Ishikari out of the ring. Kawada delivers a series of knees to send Tiger Mask onto the apron, and Ishikari holds him, while Kawada bounces off the ropes for a running kick. However, good shall triumph over evil because evil has communication problems – as Tiger Masks ducks down and Ishikari eats Kawada’s boot, sending him into the guard rail. The mighty feet of Taguchi and Tiger Mask send Kawada outside as well. Kawada is sent back inside and Tiger Mask hits a missile drop kick. Taguchi gets a series of near falls and the two get some chain wrestling in until Kawada regains control with a spinning heel kick, and tags in Ishikari.

Very nice chained speed maneuvers between Taguchi and Ishikari, with Taguchi coming out on top, in that he’s in a condition to make a tag to Tiger Mask. Ishikari finally manages to get a leg up on Tiger Mask with a DDT, and hits a super kick for 2. Ishikari goes for a lariat, but Tiger Mask counters with a crucifix into an armbar. Kawada hits a leg drop on Tiger Mask and Taguchi comes in for the save sending Kawada to the outside and then nails the schmuck with a pescado. Journalistic detachment, I don’t need no steenkin’ journalistic detachment!

Ishikari gets to his feet first and goes up top, but Tiger Mask catches him, hits a double underhook superplex, followed by a kneeling belly-to-belly piledriver, and then locking on the Tiger Clutch (crossface chickenwing) smack dab in the middle of the ring. Kawada tries to make the save, but too late, as Ishikari submits. As always, Justice prevails once again!

Winner: Tiger Mask and Ryusuke Taguchi by submission with the Tiger Clutch at 10:37.
Rating: *** – Again, decent, but with some beautiful kicks in this match. This match had some of the best looking kicks I’ve ssen in a while. Better even than Low Ki.

For the record, I’d say that Jushin “Thunder” Liger’s entrance music is better then Tiger Mask. Though Tiger Mask’s entrance music is very 70’s J-Pop-alishous

Block B: Yuji Nagata vs. Yutaka Yoshie

Nagata has 1 win, Yoshie has 2. Nagata is a 2-time IWGP World Heavyweight Champion. Yoshie has been in the business for a while, isn’t nearly as decorated as Nagata (only 1 IWGP Tag Team Championship reign), but is still fairly well regarded.

Nagata takes control early on using his speed against the slower, heavier Yoshie… who he has some problem lifting. They get in a test of strength, which Yoshie wins. They lock up again, with Nagata working the arm, with Yoshie escaping with a body slam. Nagata changes his tack again, going with a stiff kick to the leg (well, this is Strong Style, and puroetsu, all the kicks are stiff, and all the chops are stiff – audibly so). Yoshi brushes off his leg and gives Nagata a look like “What the fuck was that?”

Nagata tries to chop down the mighty Redwood, without success. He goes for a Dragon Screw but can’t lift Yoshie’s leg, he goes for a bodyslam, but gets slammed himself. Finally he rolls out of the ring to collect his thoughts and figure out how to beat this guy. Well, you haven’t tried running moves yet. He comes back in the ring and once again they lock up. This time Yoshie gets a side headlock in on Nagata – Nagata sends Yoshie for the ride, and Yoshie connects with a shoulder block that sends Nagata on his ass. By the way, Yoshie is 5′ 11″ and 353 lbs, Nagata is 6′ and 238 lbs.

Yoshie picks up Nagata and smacks hmi around a little. Nagata gets sent for the ride, Yoshie goes for a back drop, Nagata tries to reverse it to a sunset flip, but can’t pull Yoshie over… leading to not 1, not 2, but 3 consecutive Butt Drops. Nagata rolls to the outside again to catch his breath and try to figure out what he got into. He gets to his feet in time for Yoshie to splash him off the apron. Yoshie stomps him one more time before rolling back in as the Ref starts the 20 count.

Nagata finally rolls back in, and gets slammed for good measure, and Yoshie rolls him into the Boston Crab, before Nagata can reach the ropes. Nagata, you’re kinda screwed, ain’t cha?

Nagata decides to try to change his tack one more time to just trying to take Yoshie’s feet out from under him and he finally does it, and then locks on an ankle lock. However, he can’t keep Yoshie from reaching the ropes and getting back to a vertical base. Both men trade chops and strikes for a bit until, finally, Nagata manages to connect with an release exploder suplex for 2. Nagata tries to get a Uranage, but Yoshie backs him into a corner and then butt slams him, and then butt splashes him.

Yoshie goes for a power slam, but Nagata slips out and goes for some kicks, before getting leg dragged. Yoshie proceeds to lock on a reverse figure 4 leg lock. Nagata manages to barely make it to the ropes. Nagata gets splashed in the corner 6 ways from Sunday before getting hit with a release German suplex for 2. Nagata gets power slammed in the corner, and then hit with a Banzai Drop for 2. Leaping lateral press for 2. Yoshie’s going all the way up top. Nagata catches him on the second rope on the outside, tries to do… something, and gets swatted back to the mat. Yoshie’s up top, Nagata gets back to his feet… high cross body! 1! 2! – Kick Out!

Nagata is just barely escaping defeat here, and in any case, I suspect that he’s never going to underestimate a fat man again. Nagata gets back to his feet and slapped back to the mat again. Yoshie goes back up top, Nagata recovers and (trying a different tack) kicks Yoshie in the head, sending him back to the apron, kind of hanging on the top rope. Nagata, who maybe hasn’t learned after all, drags Yoshie back to the top rope and is going to try a superplex, and hits it! Maybe he has learned. Nagata and Yoshie start to get to their feet with Nagata recovering first… Yoshie is on one knee… Shining Wizard by Nagata! Well if it works for the current IWGP World Heavyweight Champion (Keiji Mutoh), maybe it will work for you. Nagata covers, gets 2.

Once again, Nagata goes for a suplex, gets nothing. The two men try trading blows again. Nagata goes for a spinning heel kick, gets Yoshie in the corner, and hits a high knee. Vertical Suplex by Nagata for 2. Nagata is going for it looks like another suplex, but Yoshie will have none of that and shuts Nagata down again, before Nagata chops Yoshie with a few kicks and manages to hit a back drop suplex (by the way, what is called a back drop suplex in Japan we in the west call a belly-to-back suplex). Nagata gets a 2 off this one, drags Yoshie to his feet, hits a drop kick to stagger him, and then hits a bridging back drop suplex for 3.

Winner: Yuji Nagata by pinfall with a bridging back drop suplex at 15:38.
Rating: **** – Now that was fun. We need more big guys like Yoshie in wrestling – not so much visibly muscular and defined as… fat. Well, chubby.

Block B: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Toru Yano

Shinsuke, as mentioned before, is the founder of RISE. He’s also a 2-time IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, and the man who beat Kurt Angle to unify the IWGP Third Belt and IWGP World Heavyweight titles. He is not, however, the current champion, having lost the belt to Kenji Mutoh several months prior. Toru is a heel, and comes out doing the “bottled water spray” thing, and the carrying a steel chair. Shinsuke has 4 wins, Toru has 3.

Toru jumps Shinsuke as soon as the house lights from Shinsuke’s entrance come up. Toru recovers quickly and gets a 2-count off a kick to the head and a bridging german suplex. Toru finds himself getting sent to the outside, and they end up brawling to the entrance way. Toru’s manager tries to make the save, but gets kicked through the guard rail. Tour gets brought back to the ring area, and gets a vertical suplex on the ringside mat. The 20-count reaches 8 and both men return to the ring. 2 count off a guillotine knee drop by Shinsuke.

Toru continues getting the snot beat out of him. If this keeps up, if he can ever get a strike in edgewise, I suspect Toru will be going for that chair. Shinsuke continues working on the arm, shoulder, and neck of Toru. Toru finally regains control by pulling Shinsuke’s hair, Shinsuke gets sent to the outside, where Toru’s stable mate? manager? puts the boots to him before the ref catches wise. Yep, Toru’s going for a chair. After a coupe chair shots, the brawl goes into the stands and then back to the ring. While the ref has an eye on Shinsuke, Toru removes some turnbuckle pads and slams Toru repeatedly into the exposed turnbuckle. Toru hits a brain buster, only gets 2.

Toru removes the tape from his wrist, and chokes Shinsuke with it, before the ref catches him. I suspect tight pulling and use of the ropes for leverage soon. Toru locks on a half crab, though he’s a little close to the ropes a positioning error that Shinsuke is quick to capitalize on. Shinsuke then, however, ends up hitting the exposed turnbuckle, back first. However, Shinsuke uses that pain and channels it into a series of 3 lariats, from which he gets a 2 count.

Toru gets sent head-over-teakettle from a knee lift, Toru recovers and both men trade blows for a bit until Toru hits a German suplex, followed by a big spear for 2. Toru picks up Shinsuke and goes for a powerbomb… but You Can’t Powerbomb Kidman Nakamura! Hurricanrana by Shinsuke that sends Toru halfway across the ring!

Toru finally does pull off a semi-powerbomb (as a reversal to an attempted monkey flip), but is unable to capitalize. Both men recover at the same time. Shinsuke smacks Toru and goes for a German suplex, but Toru hangs on to the ref. Shinsuke tries wailing on Toru to get him to let go, unstead he staggers away and shoves the ref so hard he goes flying out of thing. That’s the second ref bump of the night!

Shinsuke goes to bounce off the ropes, but Toru’s buddy is waiting with a chair to the back. Shinsuke’s got a chair in the ring and goes to nail Shinsuke, but Shinuke ducks and Toru’s buddy eats steel – twice over (when he hits the guardrail). Full Nelson suplex by Shinsuke, followed by a Landslide (Samoan Drop)! Shinsuke covers but only gets 2.

Shinsuke picks him up, goes for it again, we get a few chain reversals leading to a low blow by Toru and a sort of rollup for 2. We get some roll-throughs from an Armbar, leading with Shinsuke ending up getting pinned for 3. After the bell, Toru makes a break for the back.

Winner: Toru Yano by roll-up at 12:53.
Rating: *** – Decent match, Toru’s a decent heel, and it did take him every trick in the book to win, but it felt that he only won by luck, which while it may protect Shinsuke, it doesn’t do Toru any favors, really. If you’re going to have him pull every trick in the book, you might as well have him use the ropes for leverage and not get caught doing it. It builds him up as a heel, and doesn’t hurt Shinsuke too much (because Toru couldn’t have won cleanly).

Block A: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Manabu Nakanishi

Here’s our Main event of the evening. 1 man has 2, the other has none. I can’t read the characters (I think it’s kanji) so I can’t tell the score. Hiroshi is a 2-time IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, Manabu has held half of the IWGP Tag titles 3 times, with his 3rd reign being ended by Tomko and Bernard. Both men have won the G1 Climax, Manabu in 1999, and Hiroshi last year.

We get a big chant by the fans for Hiroshi starting off. Nice chain wrestling, with Hiroshi taking control early on. starting with the legs and abdomen, working up to the head and neck with a very tight side headlock. How tight is it? So tight that the usual-bounce-off-the-ropes-and-shove-the-guy-off spot doesn’t break the hold. Manabu tries it again, but he just can’t break the damn hold. Manabu tries for an atomic drop, but Hiroshi just pulls Manabu over in a kind of throwy thing, to keep the hold applied. Manabu tries the rope spot one more time and it finally works.

Now Hiroshi goes for some impact moves (shoulder blocks) – no dice. Goes for a bodyslam – blocked. Hiroshi appeals to the crowd, and then lays into Manabu. He backs Manabu into the corner and goes for a coast to coast whip, but Manabu hangs on to the top rope, He finally gets the whip, but Manabu reverses it, and then levels Hiroshi with a big chop.

Both men go in and out of the ring, with Hiroshi finally drop-kicking Manabu off the apron into the guard rail, then leaping off the apron in a missile drop kick into Manabu once he gets to his feet, knocking him into the guard rail again. Manabu tries to recover as Hiroshi poses for the crowd. Holy crap! As Manabu tries to get back in, Hiroshi grabs Manabu’s foot as he’s partway through the ropes, and hits a Dragon Screw! Manabu manages to stay on his feet though (having just stepped through the ropes might do that). Manabu then eats a drop kick, leaving him prone on the apron.

Hiroshi drags Manabu into the middle in the ring and starts working over the leg. It looks like Hiroshi’s got an Indian deathlock locked on and holds it for several minutes before Manabu finally reaches the ropes. Hiroshi slides to the outside, Manabu’s leg in hand, and continues to work the leg, before Manabu slides back in the ring. Hiroshi poses for the female fans a little (looking very much a muscular bishounen).

Once again, Hiroshi stops and kicks the leg. However, Manabu has had enough and has decided to stop selling for a bit and start chopping – until Hiroshi floors Manabu with an European uppercut. Manabu takes Hiroshi’s feet out from under him and starts repaying him for the work on the leg. Manabu drags Hiroshi into the middle of the ring and locks in an over-the-shoulder-standing-single-leg Boston crab! Now that’s how you work the leg. Manabu releases Hiroshi who rolls out of the ring and hobbles on the outside for a bit before falling, and then having Manabu deliver a jumping stomp off the apron (it looks like). The ref gets Manabu to clear off Hiroshi, and starts counting.

The fight returns to the ring, and Manabu smacks around Hiroshi in the corner, Hiroshi manages to break out of it with a reversed Irish whip and dragon screw. Both men have opposite legs “injured” Hiroshi works over the abdomen, hits a scoop slam, and hits a Senton for 2. That’s our first actual pin attempt of the match. Hiroshi then tries to do a Dragon suplex, but Manabu breaks out and goes for a kick, but gets dragon screwed again. You know, that had a nice ring to it, “Dragon screwed”… Hmm…

Anyway. Hiroshi sets back to work on the leg, and applies a Cloverleaf, but Manabu reaches the ropes. Manabu gets dragged back to the middle of the ring, and Hiroshi goes for the Cloverleaf again… but tastes the Iron Claw! Manabu has applied the Dreaded Von Erich Iron Claw! My God, I didn’t think anyone used that move anymore. Particularly in Japan, where wrestling has the kind of “sport” atmosphere that wouldn’t work with the Iron Claw. The crowd is rallying behind Hiroshi again, as he gets his head lariated off and into the front row. Manabu then whips up a yummy plate of chops, and then goes for a pair of big corner lariats, before hitting a vertical suplex. Manabu then hits a big jumping knee drop but only gets 2.

Manabu goes for his finisher, a torture rack backbreaker, but Hiroshi tries to get out of the move but gets shut down. Hiroshi gets slammed and Manabu goes up top. Hiroshi tries to stop him, and goes for a superplex, and hits it! Hiroshi tries to cover, but he’s too slow and only gets 1. Hiroshi goes for some running move, but gets drop-kicked clean out of the ring, and Manabu follows with a pescado! Manabu then chops Hiroshi a bit and sends him back in the ring.

Manabu goes back up top, and hits a missile drop kick (as Manabu gets back to his feet) but only gets 2. Manabu goes for a Backbreaker rack, but Hiroshi locks on a side headlock to avoid the inevitable, and flips Manabu over to a 2 count. Hiroshi bounces off the ropes, hits a Lightning Speed Cradle for 2. Dragon Suplex by Hiroshi only gets 2. Hiroshi comes of the ropes, goes for something but Manabu slips behind and hits a German Suplex, and then hits another and bridges for the pin!

Winner: Manabu Nakanishi by pinfall with a bridging German suplex at 17:33.
Rating: **** – very nice back and forth, with an excellent Over the shoulder single leg Boston crab. That move is just awesome to watch. All in all, an excellent match.

Well, that’s the event. Next time I’ll take things back to the previous day, of the tourney, the 11th.

EDIT: Minor little correction for the first half of the show – Milano Collection AT and Kojima are (or were – Kojima has since left) both members of the heel Voodoo Murders stable, over in All Japan, making that match, technically, a Heel stable Vs. Heel stable (something that we’d never see in the WWE, unfortunately))

Rob Van Dam: One Of A Kind

Host: Josh Matthews.

Disk 1

We get a brief recap of RVD’s run in WCW. He’d already been wrestling in Florida for a year as Rob Van Dam before WCW hired him. At the time Bill Watts was the head booker, and didn’t like the “Rob Van Dam” name and wanted to use something different. As RVD had already gotten some mention in the wrestling press (I’m presuming Wrestling Observer and in Dave Metzler’s magazine) under the Rob Van Dam name he wanted to use something similar ultimately settling on the name Robbie V. Rob was apparently undefeated and didn’t particularly have any programs with anybody.

Now, before RVD was signed by WCW he’d agreed to do a tour in Japan with All Japan Pro Wrestling. Watts let Rob keep his commitments even though WCW currently had a talent deal with New Japan. RVD went on the tour with All Japan, it was great, the crowds thought he was great, and basically he felt that he could probably make a career there almost as long has he wanted to stay there. RVD got back and Ole Anderson was the head booker and Rob felt things were going downhill, with the writing on the wall being his getting his first defeat in the semi-final match in a World TV Title Tourney against Kevin Nash (who was then wrestling as Vinnie Vegas). At which point, RVD (who hadn’t been in WCW for a year yet) decided it was time to go.

Scotty Flamingo vs. Robbie V

Commentator: Tony Shiavone.

Scotty Flamingo is another ring name of Scott Levy, who you may now better as Raven. So, we have Rob Van Dam and Raven squaring off prior to ECW. Awesome. At this point in his career, Levy has won and lost the WCW Light Heavyweight Championship. Notable thing about Rob’s look in this match – same style of tights he wore the rest of his career, but they’re plain black – no name or anything. Also, he’s not wearing boots, but is wrestling barefoot with some sort of sock thingie to cover the soft part of the foot and ankle. Fast chain wrestling between the two men, with RVD seeming to be on top of things. Springboard splash by Robbie for 2. A lot of rest holds from Robbie. Scotty regains control and sends Robbie off the ropes and nails him with the point of his elbow for 2. Robbie rolls to the outside for a breather.

Robbie comes back in and Scotty tries to regain control with a backslide, but Robbie reverses to one of his own for 2. Scotty regains control with a drop kick for 2. Robbie gets sent for the ride, Scott tries to go for a Lariat, but Robbie reverses with a spinning heel kick, sends Scott to the turnbuckle, then hits a super kick. Robbie hits a sort of modified Samoan drop (with the victim in front instead of in back) and goes up for the Split-Legged Moonsault for 3!

Winner: Robbie V by pinfall with a Split-Legged Moonsault at 3:18.

Rating: ** – Short match, with potential, if the feud was given time to build.

We then go to Rob Van Dam’s career in ECW – what, no mention in his time in Japan? At least they mentioned his Benoit’s career in Japan on his DVD, and Eddie’s career in Japan on his DVD. They even had matches from Japan on their DVDs. Boo! Anyway, they give his thoughts on his first match in ECW.

Rob Van Dam vs. Axl Rotten

From: ECW Hardcore TV – 1-5-96.

Commentator: Joey Styles.

At: The ECW Arena

This is RVD’s first match in ECW. IIRC, this is after the Bad Breed broke up. (If I’m wrong, please let me know.) RVD is now wearing boots and came out in the ring wearing a black Gi and is now wearing wrestling boots and red tights with a dragon on the front. . Rotten comes to the ring wearing a black leather jacket, a heavy metal looking T-Shirt, and black and purple (sorry, violet) pants.

Quoth Joey Styles, “Rob Van Dam (is) a black belt, I’m not sure in what discipline. The only belt Axl Rotten carries is a studded one he will whack you in the mouth with.”

Rob goes for a couple kicks, misses, and Axl mocks him. Rotten backs in the corner to avoid a much deserved boot to the mush. Axl and Rob lock up, but Axl’s got Rob outmatched in the sheer power department. They lock up again, and Rob gets a thumb to the eye. We finally get some chain wrestling and some fast moves between the two, with Rob hitting a Japanese Arm drag and a spring board cross body. Rob proceeds to work over Axl in the breadbasket with a series of fists, shoulder slams, and a shoulder tackle. RVD sends Axl for the ride and brings him down with a double Karate chop to the gut for 2.

RVD works Axl into the corner, but Axl regains control with a double thumb to the eye and Axl starts brawling. Axl goes for a back drop but RVD rolls over and goes for a spinning heel kick that misses. Modified T-Bone Suplex by Axl. Axl taunts again, and continuing to work over Rob. Axl literally clotheslines Rob head over teakettle and corkscrews him as well! Jesus! Axl continues to make with the mocking. Scoop slam in the middle of the ring. Axl goes up top, goes for a big elbow and misses. Rob regains control with some nice kicks and leg sweeps. RVD goes up and hits a frog splash (but not the Five Star Frog Splash) for 2. Rotten rolls out for a breather, but RVD will have none of that – somersault tope connects!

RVD sends Rotten back in the ring, and goes up top – flying thrust kick! Standing moonsault for 2. Axl once again regains control with a thumb to the eye. RVD regains control with a power slam near the corner. Split-Legged Moonsault for 3!

Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall with the Split-Legged Moonsault at 6:11.

Rating: *** – Getting better. It feels like RVD’s expanded his moveset in the time since his match with Levy in WCW.

Rob talks about learning to wrestle with Sabu and the Original Sheik, and then working together in the past, and their common wrestling styles. He talks about Sabu helping him get his break in ECW, and how their styles meshed, and how Sabu helped RVD get over in ECW.

Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

From: ECW Hardcore Heaven ‘96 – 6-22-1996

Where: The ECW Arena in Philedelphia, PA.

Commentator: Joey Styles

Apparently this match was delayed by an hour due to a ring rope breaking. RVD’s entrance music has been dubbed over with his WWE Entrance music, and I’m not seeing any sign of Huka Blues for Sabu’s entrance music either. Boo! Sabu is wrestling in a neck brace – presumably the injury is kayfabe, but you never know with Sabu. RVD is now a full-fledged heel. Our referee is John Finnegan, poor bastard. We get a Sabu chant from the fans and Sabu is ripping off the neck brace.

Sabu takes control early on, taking him down with a dive, before stomping the crap out of RVD’s legs. I’m smelling a Pillmanizing in the future of this match. Van Dam manages to get to his feet with the assistance of the ropes. We get a series of audibly stiff strikes to Van Dam’s face. (Quoth Joey Styles – “That connected”, quoth the fans, “Oooh!”) Slingshot leg lariat by Sabu for 2.

Sabu applies a chinlock, into a side headlock. RVD breaks out of the hold and bounces off the ropes – and the ropes snap! Again! Well, that rules out springboard anything for both participants. Sabu rolls out of the ring, grabs a chair, and then rolls back in, and jabs it in RVD’s gut, and then throws it into RVD’s mush. Sabu sets up the chair, and does a Triple Jump Moonsault anyway! Forget what I said about ruling out Springboard moves.

Sabu and Van Dam are duking it out on the concrete next to a table. RVD goes for a suplex, Sabu reverses it and crotches Van Dam on the steel guard rail. Sabu goes back in the ring, goes for the ride, and dives through the ropes to spear Van Dam off the guard rail. Cue ECW chant. Van Dam gets a few more chair shots to the back as they brawl through the crowd. I happened to notice that a mailbox being held by a fan with “fuck” painted on it is blurred out… but not so much that you aren’t able to read the word. Whuups.

They’re brawling to the bleachers beneath the announce position.. Guillotine leg drop on a chair, on the bleachers by Van Dam. Ow. They continue brawling their way back through the bleachers. Van Dam beats the crap out of Sabu with an Umbrella., before throwing a chair at Sabu. All e men are back in the ring. Van dam is up top, and does a flying somersault plancha with a chair! Van Dam covers but only gets 2.

Sabu drop-kicks Van Dam’s knee, and goes back to stomping the crap out of Van Dam. Sabu also appears to have injured his hand some where, as he starts clutching it and prancing a little bit after delivering a punch to Van Dam. Sabu sets up Van Dam in the corner and hits Air Sabu. Sabu appears to be taping his finger with… duct tape! Piffany must be part of Damage Control (their on-site medic team). RVD set up Sabu in the corner, sets up a chair – badly, and monkey flips him onto the poorly placed chair partially unfolded, legs up). Ow! Cover for 2.

Van Dam tries to apply an armbar on Sabu, but Sabu manages to get near the ropes. RVD is visibly limping as he gets back to his feet. Van Dam savagely chair shots Sabu. Standing moonsault for 2. Sabu continues working over Van Dam’s legs. Slingshot bulldog by Sabu. Cover by Sabu for 2. Sabu goes for a belly-to-back suplex, but RVD breaks out, tumbling through the ropes – not the wisest move. Sabu drags Van Dam on the apron, balances him on the ropes, and hits an Arabian Press Guillotine for 2. Sabu brings in another steel chair, but Van Dam kicks the chair into Sabu’s ribs, sending him to the outside. I’ve noticed nobody’s gone through a table yet. Somersault Plancha by Van Dam on Sabu.

Sabu gets whipped ribs first into the steel. Sabu responds with sending Van Dam on the steel. Sabu sets up a chair, leaps off the chair, runs across the timekeeper’s table, and hits an Air Sabu on Van Dam. Unfortunately for Sabu, that’s only a 3-dice stunt. Sabu bridges the guard-rail and ring apron with the table, and sets Van Dam up on the table. Sabu goes in the ring and sets up a chair, bounces off the ropes, hopes to the top rope, sees that Van Dam has scooched his dooch off the table and out into the fans, and goes for the Plancha Suicida instead. Cue ECW chant #2. Sabu gets to his feet first and gets Van Dam back on the table. Once again, Sabu goes for the ride. Van Dam is now standing on the table, Sabu just does what I could best describe a flying DDT through the table and to the floor! OH MY GOD! Cue ECW chant #3!

Van Dam eventually gets to his feet, and gets in the ring. Sabu covers, but only gets 2. Sabu sets up the chair again, bounces off the ropes, goes for the Triple Jump Moonsault, and Sabu crotched himself. Van Dam kicks Sabu off the top rope to the outside. Van Dam follows Sabu to the outside,. Van Dam balances a chair on a corner of the guard rail, and suplexes Sabu on it. Sabu gets tossed in by Van Dam and cover for 2. Sabu is set up on the top turn buckle and Van Dam goes for the superplex, but Van Dam gets shoved off and Sabu hits a DDT but only gets a 1 count. Sabu goes back up again, but Van Dam stops him, and hits a Fisherman’s-buster superplex but only gets 2. Van Dam goes for another Fisherman’s-buster but Sabu counters with one of his own. Sabu grabs a chair and goes up top – Atomic Arabian Facebuster! 1! 2! 3!

Winner: Sabu by pinfall with an Atomic Arabian Facebuster at 21:38

Rating: **** – That was Extreme!

Following the match, Sabu and RVD are removed from the ring in stretchers. Styles has gotten very somber, as has the crowd in the Arena. The crowd gives (basically) a standing ovation for Sabu, after he gets to his feet (against the on-site medic’s wishes) briefly, and is finally stretchered to the back. We then return to the interview footage with RVD talking more about Sabu, and it’s looking like they’re getting to RVD & Sabu’s tag team period, talking particularly with their programs with the Eliminators (Perry Saturn and John Kronus), the Dudleyz, and The Gangstas.

ECW Tag Team Title Match: Rob Van Dam & Sabu vs. The Eliminators (Perry Saturn and John Kronus) (c)

When: ECW Crossing The Line Again on 2-1-1997.

Where: The ECW Arena in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Commentator: Joey Styles

Sabu and Saturn seem eager to start off – while John Finnegan tries to start things off with some degree of order. We get Saturn and Van Dam starting off. Both men lock up, and Van Dam backs Saturn into the ropes and starts working him over but van Dam regains control. Saturn gets a 2-count off a drop kick. Kronus asks for the tag and gets it. Kronus wants a piece of Sabu, but Kronus gets distracted and hits a big kick combo. Sabu gets tagged in and both guys hit a double team splash on Kronus. Sabu gets a 2-count off a springboard drop-kick, but Kronus regains control when Saturn breaks up the tag. Kronus gets a 2-count off a pump-handle plex.

Slingshot leg lariat by Sabu for 2, and Van Dam is taged in, only to get Ricky Mortoned by the Eliminators. Double Leg Lariat for 2. Lariat by Saturn for 2. RVD hits a double under hook slam for 2. Sabu hits a springboard leg drop, applies a camel clutch, and then Van Dam hits a baseball slide to da face! Van Dam bows to the crowd, but Kronus cheap shots him.

Van Dam locks on a surfboard on Saturn, and elevates him, and Sabu drops the elbow on Saturn! Van Dam covers, but Kronus breaks it up at 2. Saturn has regained control. Van Dam gets the crap beat out of him, and Saturn kicks Van Dam to the outside casually. Saturn works over Van Dam some more, until Van Dam hits a drop toe hold allowing him to tag in Sabu, who hits a springboard legdrop again. Saturn still retains control though, hitting the Saturn Bomb for 2, until Sabu breaks it up. Kronus comes in and we have mayhem! RVD and Kronus brawl to the outside, while Sabu and Saturn fight in the ring. Sabu eats a cutter from Ssaturn, who then goes outside to help Kronus.

Saturn gets sent to the fan area after Van Dam reverses a whip, leading to Kronus and Van Dam brawling on the other side of the ring, when Kronus reverses a reversed Irish Whip by Van Dam (or, as they’d put it in Disgaea, a counter-counter-counter). Not to be left out, Sabu hits a triple-jump Plancha Suicida on Saturn. Saturn and Sabu get back in the ring. Sabu throws a chair in Saturn’s face, and Saturn hits a lariat that sends Sabu sprawling. Van Dam is now back in the ring. Saturn makes a brave show of it but is over-powered by Sabu and RVD. Sabu locks on a single leg Boston Crab, and Van Dam drops a leg on Saturn. Saturn kicks out at 2.

Slam on Saturn, somersault splash by Van Dam with a Leg Drop assist by Sabu for 2. Kronus gets tagged in and levels Van Dam. Kronus slams Van Dam and goes up top. Kronus is over half-way across the ring from Van Dam. Frog Splash for 2. Saturn hits a splash of his own on Van Dam for 2. Van Dam slams Kronus and goes up top as well. Me (singing), “Anything you can do, I can do better – I can do anything better than you!” Sabu’s up top as well. Sabu splashes, Van Dam drops the leg. Saturn comes in and cleans house quickly, before Van Dam can cover. Sabu gets the blind tag, but and regins control over Kronus, and applies a hammerlock on Kronus, but Saturn comes in and The Eliminators shut Sabu down quickly. 2-count off an Perry Saturn leg drop.

Kronus gets the tag and Saturn quickly blocks Van Dam. Enziguri and Cross Kick by the Eliminators for 2. Sabu gets slammed and Kronus hits a moonsault senton but doesn’t capitalize. Kronus bounces off the ropes but Sabu back-drops him to the outside. Saturn and Van Dam brawl in the ring, while Sabu bridges the guard rail and the ring apron with at able and places Kronus. Sabu goes for a triple-jump something, but Kronus gets off the table, and Saturn kicks Sabu off the top rope. Fortunately for Sabu, he falls back into the ring. Now Sabu’s on the inside with Saturn, and Van Dam is on the outside with Kronus. Sabu rolls outside and with Van Dam moves the table into the ring – this can’t be good (for somebody). They set up the table, and from the looks of things, Kronus is inside the ring now with Van Dam and Sabu, and Saturn is on the outside looking on.

Kronus is laid out on the table, but Saturn comes in and ejects both of the challengers. Van Dam comes back in, and Saturn goes back out. Saturn is taking a ladder into the ring. Now, it’s not a big ladder, but it’s a ladder. Van Dam is held by Kronus while Saturn goes up the Ladder, but Sabu goes on the turnbuckle and drop kicks Saturn off the ladder and onto Kronus. Sabu and Van Dam double clothesline the Eliminators with the Ladder, leg drop the ladder on them, and then hit a double slingshot somersault legdrop on the ladder, Double cover for 2! Van Dam sets up the ladder, Saturn is slammed and both challengers go up the ladder. Saturn and Kronus hit Total Elimination on the ladder! Sabu’s down, Van Dam’s down, and The Eliminators are standing tall.

Sabu is ejected from the ring by the champs, and The Eliminators set up the ladder on the table?! You’re kidding. Now Saturn’s got a chair, Kronus is slamming Van Dam. You must be kidding. Saturn is going to the top of the ladder, but Sabu saves Van Dam by springboard kicking Saturn off the ladder, blocking what would have been a 4-dice stunt. Van Daminator for only 2! Sabu sets up a chair, Triple Jump Moonsault. Saturn tries to stop the pin, but Sabu manages to toss him through the ropes to the outside. Van Dam covers for 2. Standing moonsault with a chair for 2. Kronus slams Van Dam. Sabu slams Kronus. Sabu sets up the chair and goes for the Triple Jump Moonsault, but Kronus moves out of the way, and Van Dam gets shoved into the way! Total Elimination for 3!

Winners: The Eliminators (Perry Saturn and John Kronus) by pinfall with Total Elimination at 20:01. The Eliminators retain the ECW Tag titles.

Rating: ***** – That was a hell of a match, and I saw some stuff there that I have never seen before, and I may never see again. Wow! I’d call that one of the best tag team matches I’ve ever seen, in terms of psychology, teamwork, and overall skill.

Going back to the interview footage, Van Dam talks about the Barely Legal Pay Per View, and how he felt about not being on the card (He felt mad, he felt mean mad, he felt – ow, stop hitting me!) So, Van Dam talked to Eric Bischoff, who had a job offer for him. Ultimately, Van Dam got a spot on the Pay Per View when Chris Candido was injured (after rumors of Van Dam leaving for WCW got out). Paul Heyman, Mad Scientist of Pro Wrestling that he is, came up with the “I just love working Mondays” angle.

Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm

When: ECW Barely Legal – 4-13-1997

Where: ECW Arena

Commentator: Joey Styles.

Van Dam and Storm chain wrestle, lending a but more towards technical wrestling, and progressively accelerating, leading to Storm going to the outside, and Van Dam hitting a somersault plancha onto Storm. 2-count off a top rope leg drop. Storm sent for the ride, counters into a springboard back elbow. Van Dam is drop-kicked off the apron to the outside. Storm goes for a pescado but misses. Van Dam and Storm brawl on the outside. Moonsault press off the guard rail by Van Dam. The fight goes back in the ring, after Van Dam gets hisself a chair. Ooh, it’s nice and shiny too. Storm is trying to catch his breath in the corner. Storm is whipped into the corner, bounces off, and gets a chair thrown at his face. Van Dam bows for the approving crowd, before surfing the chair into Storm’s face.

As Storm tries to get to his feet, Van Dam is assailed with chants of “Sell out”. Van Dam hits a double underhook slam. Van Dam goes up top and hits a Frog Splash for 2. Van Dam goes back outside and gets another chair, which he once again tosses at Storm. Van Dam goes to somersault splash Storm in the corner, but Storm evades that and hits slam on the chair. Chain wrestling by Van Dam and Storm. Storm ultimately regains control with a float over into a Boston Crab. More chain wrestling leading to Storm on the Apron and Van Dam on the inside. Van Dam pulls Storm’s legs out from under him, leaving his head out in empty space – Slingshot Guillotine Leg Drop!

Van Dam and Storm get back in the ring. Van Dam goes for the Van Daminator, but Storm dodges it, chair shots Van Dam, sets down the chair, and then Tiger Bombs Van Dam on the chair for 2. Van Dam goes to set up the chair while Storm goes up top, but isn’t fast enough as Storm leg drops the bent over Van Dam, causing his head to go *ping* off the seat of the chair, but only for 2.

Van Dam gets back to his feet using the ropes. Storm tries to do something out of a wastelock, but Van Dam evades it, ultimately kicking Storm between the uprights. Van Dam then crotches Storm on the top rope, and then hits a springboard back elbow, for 2. Bridging German Suplex by Storm for 2. Storm hits a really weak chairshot, and the crowd is now against Storm. Storm tries it again, but it’s still really weak. Van Dam finally hits the Van Daminator, making a nice, satisfying “clank” and the crowd goes nuts. Standing Moonsault for 3.

Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall with the standing moonsault at 10:11.

Rating: *** – Okay. It was a decent match, but frankly, it’s possible to not work stiff enough, as Lance Storm demonstrated in this match. Storm was and is good, but Van Dam really carried this match.

After the match, Van Dam grabs a mike, and decides to respond to the “You Sold Out” chants, with the “See You Monday Night” promo. Come next Monday night, and RVD is on… Raw! Leading to Lawler introducing him, and nicknaming him “Mr. Monday Night,” and leading to his first match against Jeff Hardy., as well against matches against Flash Funk, and the general ECW invasion of WWF.

“Mr. Monday Night” Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

When: WWF Monday Night Raw, 5-12-1997.

Where: Newark, Delaware.

Commentators: Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Prior to the match, Jerry Lawler cuts a heel promo on ECW (referring it to Extremely Crappy Wrestling). We’re getting a pop at the mention of ECW, and a boo at his re-definition of the acronym. I noticed that as camera panned across the crowd we got a glimpse of Hat Guy.

Speed chain wrestling by Jeff and Rob, before Rob regains control and kicks Jeff out of the ring. Somersault plancha Suicida onto Jeff. Van Dam pulverizes Jeff for a bit, before mugging for the crowd. Van Dam slams Jeff, and goes up top and hits the Frog Splash. Powerslam near the corner into a split legged moonsault and cocky cover for 3.

Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall at 2:26.

Rating: *** – Normally, I’m not the biggest fan of one-sided squashes, but this one had a very specific purpose coming in, and it met (and I might even say) exceeded that purpose.

Going back to the interview, Van Dam talks about the origins of his nickname “The Whole Fucking Show,” and how it ties into the Van Dam Lift.

Flag vs. Flag Match: “Mr. Monday Night” Rob Van Dam (w/ Bill Alfonso) vs. “The Innovator Of Violence” Tommy Dreamer w/ Beulah McGillicutty

When: ECW November To Remember ‘97, 11-30-1997

Where: The Golden Dome in Monaca, PA

Commentator: Joey Styles

This was in the midst of the ECW/WWF ‘97 Invasion thingie. The way this match works, is the winner of the match raises the flag of the company they represent – Dreamer for ECW (natch), Van Dam for WWF. As this DVD I’m watching was released in the WWE era, the irony of the WWF flag being raised but having to be blurred out does not escape me. Dreamer’s right foot is currently in a walking cast, leaving the toes exposed.

The two men slowly circle up. Chain technical wrestling by Dreamer, with Van Dam working over Dreamer’s injured heel (the injury is apparently kayfabe). Van Dam takes a little control before he gets distracted mugging for the audience and gets hit with a side Russian leg-sweep. Dreamer appears to be using the walking cast to his advantage which, considering the injury is supposed to be to his heal, ought to really fucking hurt!

Dreamer and RVD take the brawl to the outside (a little slow today, the match is only 3 minutes old). The brawl goes along the guard rail, and out into the fans, and back in again. One of these days Fonzie’s gonna choke on that whistle. Van Dam gets crotched on the guard rail, and Dreamer takes a Chair and then smacks Van Dam right between the eyes. The fight goes back in the ring, and Van Dam gets dragged to his feet by his ponytail, and gets tied in the ropes. Dreamer goes to bounce off the ropes and nail Van Dam, but Fonzie grabs his heel, causing Dreamer to land face first on the chair. Springboard leg drop by Van Dam and… we get clipped! Come on! When we get back in, the match is on the outside, Dreamer was going to send Van Dam back outside the ring, but Van Dam counters by crotching Dreamer, and then doing a sort of modified Van Daminator. It looks like we’ve got ringside mats at this arena. Anyway, we’re getting a “Sit the fuck down” chant. I love ECW fans.

Dreamer gets tossed into the ring, set up in the corner, and then gets a chair surf boarded into his face. Fonsie tries to set Dreamer up for a guillotine legdrop across the apron, but the Ref stops him. Van Dam sets up a chair, backflips off the top rope and drop kicks the chair into Dreamer’s face. Dreamer is practically done. Slingshot guillotine leg drop for 2. Van Dam goes back up top but gets shoved off the top rope by Dreamer. Dreamer hits a hangman’s neckbreaker off the top turnbuckle for 2. Tommy hangs van Dam in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer sets up the chair, and Van Dam gets the chair dropkicked into his face. Van Dam is out. Dreamer goes up top, but Fonzie nails Dreamer on his injured foot. Van Dam hits the tumbling splash for 2.

Van Dam sets a steel chair on Dreamer, goes for the split legged moonsault but Dreamer gets the knee up. Dreamer goes for the DDT on the chair, but Van Dam counters out of it. Van Dam and Dreamer chain fight a bit in the corner, Dreamer goes up top and does the splits, and Dreamer rings his bell. DDT off the top and cover! Fonzie dragged the ref out of the ring! Fonzie clocked referee John “Pee-Wee” Moore with a street sign. John Finnegan and Bill Molenux (sp) are out at ring side, confronting Fonzie. Dreamer has broken the pin to find out what the hell is going on, but got blind-sided by RVD. Referee Jeff Jones is at ringside as well. Van Dam goes for the Van Daminator, but it’s reversed into a chair shot. Dreamer makes the cover, but Jeff Jones breaks up the 3-count. The Fuck? Jim Moleneux gets knocked cold by Jeff Jones! Dreamer’s had enough of this shit, and gets up and goes to DDT Jones, but Van Dam recovers so he’s got to deal with that. Dreamer goes for the cover and Finnegan goes to make the count, but Jones breaks it up again and calls out both Moleneux and Finnegan! And thought Finnegan was taking off more then he could chew the one time he tried to double clothesline the Dudley Boys. Now Beulah’s in the ring, and she kicks Jones between the uprights, and Moleneux and Finnegan double DDT Jones.

Me (singing): Instant Karma’s going to get you.

John and Jim perform Taunt – Dreamer, but get it interrupted by a double-low blow by Fonzie, who in turn gets it broken up by Beulah. RVD attacks Beulah, but Dreamer rolls up Van Dam for 2. Can I Has Finish? RVD gets spiked but only for 2. Dreamer DDT! Dreamer preemptively displays the ECW flag, but Furgas and Lafon (or whatever their names are) from the WWF come in to distract Dreamer, allowing Stevie Richards to sneak in from behind and super-kick Tommy! No! No! Not like this! They set up a trash can on Dreamer, and Van Dam hits a five star frog splash on Dreamer. Furgas and Lafon count RVD’s pin, though it’s not official since they aren’t refs, and all our refs are out. Fonzie declares RVD the winner. The ECW flag is thrown out of the ring, and the WWF flag is displayed (and isn’t blurred out – I guess since it isn’t the Scratch Logo).

Winner: No Contest at 17:08 (on the DVD)

Rating: **** – For an over-booked no contest, from a storyline standpoint that was actually pretty good. I was still hoping Dreamer would win though.

Rob Van Dam talks about Bam Bam Bigelow, and his TV Title match against him in Buffalo NY, specifically his two big dives into the crowd (which ends up in the ECW introductory reel).

ECW Television Title: Bam Bam Bigelow (c) vs. Rob Van Dam w/ Bill Alfonso

When: ECW Hardcore TV on 4-4-1998

Where: Buffalo, NY

Commentator: Joey Styles.

Bigelow takes control early on and manhandles Van Dam, with shoulder blocks and power bombs. Van Dam has to roll to the outside to regroup, and for Fonzie, the “Verbal diuretic” as Joey calls him, to do his work. Van Dam returns to the ring. High Cross body and leaping side, into a rolling splash for 2. Van Dam ends up going to the outside when Bigelow pulls down the top rope. Bigelow smacks Van Dam around the outside. Van Dam regains control with a leaping side kick off the guard rail, but Bigelow regains control by reversing a ring post slam. Van Dem gets tossed into the 3rd row of the stands. The Whole Fucking Show flees across the audience, and the Beast From The East follows.

Van Dam manages to hit a Hurricanrana on Bigelow, I don’t know how, and I think at at least 3 wooden chairs have been reduced into sawdust. Van Dam rolls back in the ring, goes up top, Suicide Plancha to the 3rd row! Holy Crap! Van Dam gets back up, rolls back into the ring, and goes back up top. Hilo (Senton bomb off the top rope to the outside) to the 3^rd row! Holy Shit! Bigelow is, somehow, getting back up, and crawling back over the guard rail. Guillotine leg drop off the apron onto Bigelow who is half over the railing. I think Bigelow is done… nope, Bigelow just clotheslined Van Dam. Bigelow power-bombs RVD on the timekeeper’s table, but the table doesn’t break. Bigelow goes on the apron, and elbow drops Van Dam through the table!

Van Dam manages to get to his feet first and nails Bigelow with chairs, pieces of the table, his feet, just trying to keep him down, but to no avail. Bigelow tries Van Dam into the ring, but Van Dam reverses it and snaps Bam Bam on the top rope. Van Dam gets back in only to get power-bombed once again. Bigelow goes up top for a moonsault but Van Dam rolls out of the way. Van Dam goes up top, connects with frog splash but Bam Bam kicks out. Fallaway slam by Bam Bam but Van Dam kicks out. Bigelow hits a brain buster suplex but manages to get the shoulder up. Bigelow drags Van Dam to his feet, and just tosses RVD to the corner. Bigelow goes for the splash, but Van Dam puts up a chair right in line with Bigelow’s face. Bigelow goes to slam Van Dam, but Jim Moleneux get’s caught with one of Van Dam’s boots. Now Sabu’s run in, and chucks a chair at Bigelow’s head. Sabu goes for Air Sabu at Bigelow, but Bigelow catches him and throws him at Van Dam. Bigelow goes to slam Sabu but Sabu gets the thumb to the eye. Van Dam hits the Van Daminator and floats over for 3! New TV Champion!

Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall with the Van Daminator at 14:40. Rob Van Dam is the new ECW Television Champion!

Rating: **** – Holy Shit. Bigelow beat the crap out of Van Dam and vice versa. Damn.

In the interview, Van Dam talks about his legendary feud with Jerry Lynn.

ECW Television Title: Rob Van Dam w/ Bill Alfonso (c) vs. Jerry Lynn

When: ECW Living Dangerously ‘99 – 3-21-1999.

Where: Asbury Park, NJ.

Commentator: Joey Styles

This may be the 3rd time I’ve seen these two wrestle, and I’ve loved seeing it every time. Van Dam is coming into this match not only ECW Television Champion, but one half of the ECW World Tag Team Champions as well.

They lock up and start with the chain wrestling. Van Dam mugs for the fans a little bit. Running chain in the middle leads to a draw, and the audience the audience gives a standing ovation. The men continue with the chain, an Inverted Atomic Drop stuns Lynn for a second, but only that second, as he levels Van Dam with a big lariat. Van Dam rolls to the outside to regroup. Lynn and Van Dam lockup and chain again, and Van Dam gets clotheslined to the outside. Forward flip plancha off the apron by Lynn.

Van Dam goes to get back in, but eats a baseball slide that sends him to the first row. Springboard Crossbody into the first row. Lynn drags Van Dam back to the ring. Van Dam manages to get back to his feet first and regain control. Van Dam goes for a springboard move off the top rope, but Lynn drop kicked him to the guard rail – and it looks like he hit chin first – ow. Van Dam and Lynn fight on the outside. Van Dam guillotines Lynn after draping him over the guard rail, and then hits him with a springboard plancha off the guard rail.

Lynn and Van Dam brawl their way almost back to the ring, but RVD drapes Lynn off the apron and then guillotines him. RVD covers Lynn in the ring for 2. Fonzie tosses Lynn a chair and Van Dam surfboards Lynn, before finally launching Lynn into the air and rolling out of the way, allowing Lynn to land on the chair Van Dam was sitting on.Van Dam covers but only gets 2. Van Dam sets Lynn up in the corner, goes for a monkey flip, but Lynn evades and hits a sunset flip powerbomb on the chair for 2.

Lynn goes for the cradle piledriver, leading to a big string of chain wrestling by the two, Lynn getting back dropped on the chair for 2 and bridging out, leading to another chain into an inverted DDT by Lynn on the chair for 2. Another chain string for 2, leading to a leg drop on the chair for 2. There is no fucking way to call this match move for move in this fashion. I’m just going to have to set up and call the near-falls and high spots.

Lynn goes back up with a steel chair, but Fonzie grabs his ankle. Van Dam and Lynn fight on the top rope with a steel chair, but RVD finally manages to hit a Van Daminator and knock Lynn off the top rope, through the timekeeper’s table. Fonzie tries to drag Lynn back in the ring so RVD can pin him, RVD finally has to come out and drags Lynn’s limp body back in the ring and covers… and Lynn kicks out! Van Dam body slams Lynn and Van Dam sets a chair on top of Lynn. Van Dam goes for the split legged moonsault, but Lynn gets the knees up. Sunset flip by Lynn for 2. The two men string a series of near-falls. The men fight their way to the apron – Van Dam standing on the apron and Lynn on the top rope. Apparently there was a 2nd timekeeper’s table set up at ring side, and Lynn tried to Tornado DDT RVD through it… but the table didn’t break! It buckled a little, but it didn’t break! OW!

Both men, slowly, get to their feet, after the crowd got very silent for a bit. The fight goes back in the ring, and Lynn covers, but only gets 2. Lynn and RVD get back to their feet, and continue with the chain wrestling. Twisting leg drop for 2. Rolling Thunder for 2. More chain wrestling leading to a DDT by Lynn for 2… and we get the time expired bell. Lynn wants 5 more minutes, even though Lynn was going to be awarded the belt. The fans agree with Lynn. RVD agrees with Lynn. John Finnegan (our Ref) is going to go with it.

Lynn connects with a piledriver for 2. Lynn continues working over RVD more vigorously. RVD connects with the Van Daminator. He goes back up top. Five Star Frog Splash! That’s the match!

Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall with the Five Star Frog Splash at 22:59. Rob Van Dam retains the ECW Television Title.

Rating: ***** – This was an absolute clinic, and is one of ECW’s greatest matches.

Rob Van Dam talks about forfeiting the belt before becoming the ECW TV champion for 2 years, as well as some of the other injuries in his career. One of them involves injury to the eye. Gahhh! Now my eyes are experiencing sympathy pains. Doh! I just ate spicy food before typing this! Now they really do hurt! Ahh! Rob Van Dam then talks about the Van Terminator.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn w/ Cyrus

When: ECW Guilty As Charged, 1-7-2001.

Where: New York, NY at the Hammerstein Ballroom.

Commentator: Joey Styles.

Start: 1:58:13. Finish: 2:17:41

This is the last match in ECW’s original run. This is the second time I’ve seen this match, the first time was in context. Yes, they’ve over-dubbed “Respect” with RVD’s WWE entrance music. Boo!

Lynn has control early on, as he blind-sided RVD. Chain wrestling by both men, accompanied by a “Welcome Back” chant from the fans. RVD rolls out of the ring to say hello to his fans. Lynn goes to sneak up on Van Dam, but Van Dam’s got eyes in the back of his head. We get back to the chain wrestling, and both men fight to ringside. RVD hits a moonsault press off the guard rail. Van Dam sets Lynn up on the guard rail, corkscrew guillotine legdrop on Lynn. Van Dam rolls back in the ring. RVD gorilla press slams Lynn! He hits the standing moonsault and the split legged moonsault. More chain wrestling with Lynn hitting Van Dam with a flying clothesline.

More chain wrestling, going to the apron – Lynn on the outside, RVD in. RVD goes for a shoulder block but Lynn guillotines him, and then drop kicks him off the apron into the guard rail. The pair continue fighting on the outside. Van Dam gets slammed into the ring post and then on the floor. RVD gets tossed back into the ring, and Lynn covers but only gets 2. The two men chain a series of near-falls, into some chained holds and strikes. Van Dam hits the Rolling Thunder for 2.

Van Dam brings the steel chair in the ring, slams Lynn in the corner, and then surfs the chair into Lynn’s face. RVD goes to monkey flip Lynn on the chair, but Lynn reverse it into a powerbomb on the chair (now where did we see that before?) More chained wrestling leading to Lynn hitting a bridging German suplex for 2. Lynn gets Cyrus to bring another chair to the ring. RVD gets DDT’d on the chair, but Lynn only gets 2. RVD finally regains control with a springboard side kick. RVD goes up and Cyrus grabs RVD’s ankle, but gets kicked off. RVD misses the Five Star Frog Splash and Lynn rolls him up for 2. Cyrus comes in the ring to assist Lynn. But wait, whose this coming in? Well… well… well.. it’s Joel Gertner! Gertner DDT’s Cyrus!

Lynn goes clock RVD, but eats a Van Daminator. Gertner is starting RVD chant. RVD sets Lynn up in the corner, makes a gesture indicating he needs Bill Alfonzo. He needs somebody to hold the chair steady for a Van Terminator. Fortunately, when you don’t have a man who calls it right down the middle, a quintessential studmuffin will suffice. RVD goes up top… Van Terminator! Lynn is out. RVD drags Lynn’s limp carcass into the middle of the ring and covers him for 3!

Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall with the Van Terminator at 19:28.

Rating: **** – About 3-4 minutes of that match was Rob mugging for the crowd. They also re-used a lot of other spots, and some of the stuff was a little sloppy. What else there was was great though.

End Disk 1 – I’ll pick this up once I get Disk 2 from Netflix.

Disk 2

Rob Van Dam talks about his transition from ECW to WWE, and with RVD favoring the Hardcore matches, as they allowed him to show off his style better to get over with the fans.

WWF Hardcore Championship: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy (c)

Where: WWF Invasion in Cleveland, Ohio

When: 7-22-01

Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole,

Jeff Hardy just sprints into the ring and goes right after RVD, sliding between his legs and catching him from behind. This is the first WWF event on the card with the scratch logo, so we’re getting a lot of blurred out turnbuckles and Titan-Ton screens. Jeff takes control early one with some very nice fast moves. 2 count after a drop-kick in the turnbuckle, another 2-count off a reversed monkey flip. No foreign objects in play so far, nice. RVD regains control with a 2-count off a rolling thunder.

Things stay very cast and kind of even as Cole compares RVD to Neo from the Matrix with his graceful movements. RVD gets whipped to the corner, goes up top to counter, but Jeff shoves him off the top to the outside. Jeff then baseball slides into Rob as he towards the apron. They fight on the outside for a bit. Jeff goes up on the guardrail for one of his trademark run-along-the-rail moves, but RVD goes up and knocks Jeff into the crowd. The fight goes into the crowd with the ref following. RVD gets whipped into the barricade. RVD then goes up on the barricade and does a moonsault off the barricade into Jeff for 2. I’ll take the moment to give some quick background – this is the first major Pay-Per-View of the infamous Invasion angle, with in this match RVD representing the ECW/WCW Alliance, and Jeff representing the WWE. You already know that this is also a rematch, although JR has yet to acknowledge that.

The brawl has gone back from the crowd into the ringside area, Jeff gets set up on the guard rail, and RVD guillotines Jeff off the guard-rail for 2. Did I mention that WWF/E has a bigger space between the ring and the guard rail than ECW? Jeff gets in the ring first, RVD starts to go back in, but Jeff starts him and counters with a sunset flip powerbomb. Jeff’s been watching tapes of RVD’s matches with Jerry Lynn. Jeff goes under the ring, and brings out the Jeff Hardy Ladder! You sick fuck! Jeff sets the ladder up outside the ring (so it’s got a good 5 feet above the turnbuckle inside the ring), and starts to climb. RVD (who was out for all that) comes to, sees the writing on the wall and quickly scampers into the ring, and knocks over the ladder! Jeff just got laid out on the entrance ramp! At this point JR says one of the lines that you hear often on the “don’t try this at home” reel, albeit truncated…

JR: ‘They learn to fall’ – Learn to fall my Oklahoma Butt! How do you learn to fall off a 20′ ladder?!

RVD has now gotten a chair and his making his way to Jeff. Jeff quickly smacks RVD with the ladder and grabs the chair and starts smacking the crap out of him with the chair, as they take the fight to the entrance ramp. Jeff is standing above RVD, holding the chair, and RVD appears to be begging him off… Jeff goes for the swing – Van Daminator! Jeff is knocked off stage into a little open area in the middle! RVD gets to his feet and goes down to the little pit area, picks up Jeff, and throws him back up on the ramp, with RVD in pursuit. Slam by RVD for 2. RVD drags Jeff back to the ring, and lays him out in the middle of the ring, and proceeds to ground and pound. Jeff appears to be bust wide open. Jeff is laid out in the corner. And skateboards the chair into Jeff’s face! RVD goes up, Triple Jump Moonsault, but Jeff gets the knees up!

Jeff gets back to his feet and hits a DDT on RVD but only for 2. Jeff tries again but only gets 2. Jeff hits a german suplex but only for 2. Jeff goes up top – Swanton Bomb… Misses! RVD lays the Hardcore Title on top of Jeff and goes up top on his own… Five Star Frog Splash! RVD covers and gets the pin!

Winner: Rob Van Dam by pinfall at 12:30 and is the new WWF Hardcore Champion!

Rating: **** – Very nice match. I would liked to have seen a few more matches between the two, and maybe RVD & Sabu vs. The Hardy Boyz in a TLC match at, say, Wrestlemania. Ain’t gonna happen though.

RVD talks about the Five Star Frog Splash, and about his version is better than other people’s versions.

King of the Ring Semifinal Match: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Where: WWE King Of The Ring in Columbus, OH.

When: 6-23-2002.

Commentators: JR and The King

ECW and WCW Alums back in the ring once again. The Whole Fucking Show vs. the Ayatollah of Rock n’ Rollah. The poor bastard who wins this match ends up facing the winner of Test vs. Brock Lesnar (guess who wins that one). Y2J and RVD circle up and chain wrestle, both working on the others arms. They move from technical chain wrestling to some fast chain wrestling, leaving them at an impasse. So, RVD decides to do a taunt-off. The fans chant along with the Thumbs (Rob Van Dam instead of Whole Dam Show, unfortunately). Jericho responds with a bitch slap. RVD responds with a boot to the mush.

RVD regains control quickly. 2-count off a twisting leg drop. Fans start an ECW chant. Jericho regains control after the 2-count. RVD reverses a hold by tossing Jericho to the outside. RVD then bounces off the ropes and hits a somersault plancha to the outside, hits a flying kick to Jericho off the top, and goes for the frog splash, but Jericho shoves the ref into the ropes, crotching RVD. Jericho recovers, hits a superplex, but only for 2. Jericho drags RVD to his feet as a chant battle gets started, one half for RVD, one half of the arena for Jericho.

RVD reverses an Irish whip and hits a drop-toe hold for 2. Jericho regains a bit of control and while the ref is distracted removes a turnbuckle pad on one of the turnbuckles. The Ref goes to put the turnbuckle on while RVD gets an inside cradle, so RVD gets a 2-count out of what could have been a 3-count. Jericho gets a 2-count as well. Jericho does a choke on the ropes. Jericho then takes the tape off his wrist and chokes RVD with the tape. Jericho hangs up RVD off the ropes and was going to bronco buster him in the middle, but RVD gets out of the way, causing Jericho to get crotched on the bottom rope. Jericho recovers regains control quickly though.

Jericho whips RVD in the corner and goes for a spear, but Van Dam gets out of the way, and Jericho’s shoulder becomes intimately acquainted with the ring post. Springboard kick by Van Dam for 2. RVD kicks Jericho in the face again (that’s been going on a lot this match,) and hits a rolling thunder for 2. Jericho hits an enziguri of his own (to pay off that boot-to-head debt) for 2. Jericho hits a release German suplex for 2. Jericho’s moving a lot more leisurely, and is more deliberately slapping around Van Dam… and Van Dam stunguns Jericho. Split-legged moonsault for 2. Jericho gets set up in the corner and RVD hits the 3 shoulder slams. He goes for a small package, but Jericho tries to reverse it to the wall of Jericho, but RVD reverses it into the small package for 2.

RVD whips Jericho in the corner, Jericho tries to reverse into a moonsault, but RVD kicks Jericho in the gut on his way in. Jericho rolls up RVD with his foot on the rope for 2. Jericho bulldogs RVD, goes for the Lionsault but nobody home. RVD hits a kick. RVD is feeling froggy, but nobody home! Jericho recovers and goes for the Lionsault and connects! He goes for the pin but only gets 2! RVD goes for a ‘rana but Jericho reverses it into the Walls Of Jericho, but RVD reaches the ropes to break free.

Jericho tries to set RVD up for a super-plex, but RVD crotches Jericho, goes back up, Frog Splash connected! 1! 2! 3!

Winner: Rob Van Dam wins by pinfall with the Five Star Frog Splash at 14:32, advancing to face the winner of Test vs. Brock Lesnar (the winner is Lesnar, and Lesnar also beats RVD).

Rating: **** – We’re getting a lot of good matches on this DVD, and I’ve been impressed with all of them so far.

RVD talks about the differences between ECW and WWE.

Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Christian (c)

Where: WWE Raw in Chicago, IL.

When: 9-29-2003.

Commentary: Jim Ross and The King.

RVD and Christian gets in an argument on who is going to start out the champion, and Jericho throws the first blow, but RVD regains control early on, and then goes out of the ring to get a ladder. Christian peruses and gains control, smacking Van Dam around a bit before tossing him back in he ring and retrieving his own ladder. However, after he’s picked it up, RVD performs a somersault plancha driving the ladder into Christian. We get an instant replay as Referees Earl Hebner and Charles Robinson check on both men. (I recognized Earl (or Dave’s) face and Little Naich’s hair). Both men fight around the ring. Christian bridges the guard rail and the steps with the ladder, and Christian gets slammed on the ladder, and then RVD nails the schmuck with a twisting leg drop!

RVD takes the ladder into the ring and then tosses Christian in as well. We’ve got two ladders in the ring. RVD sets one of the ladders up in the corner and goes to whip Christian into it, but Christian reverses it. Instant Karma and all that. Christian sets the ladder up in the corner across the second ropes, and then slingshots RVD face first into the ladder. Ow! Christian sets up the ladder and starts to climb, but Rvd pushes over the ladder, with Christian voiding the ladder in the nick of time, only to take a roundhouse kick. RVD then press slams Christian on the ladder and then hits a standing moonsault!

RVD picks up the ladder as Christian comes to his feet and sends Christian out of the ring with the ladder. RVD climbs and almost reaches the belt before Christian recovers and climbs into the ring and up the ladder after RVD and hits a Inverted DDT off the ladder! Christian sets the ladder back up in the corner, and goes to pick up RVD. Christian goes to slam RVD on the ladder, but RVD recovers and monkey flips him, and then hits the Rolling Thunder on Christian, on the ladder, and the ladder is broken! Van Dam sets up a new ladder, and lays out Christian and goes up the ladder and shakes his head yes, only for Christian to wrench him off leg first. Christian takes the broken ladder, and gets it drop-kicked into his face. RVD gets back to his feet again and goes up to the top rope. Christian is laid out on the ladder. RVD goes for the Five Star Frog Splash but Christian gets out of the way! Ow!

Christian sets up the broken ladder again and slams RVD out of the ring. Jericho sets up the broken ladder, and starts to climb. RVD missile drop kicks the ladder clean out from under Christian. The ladder gets set up again, and both men try to climb the ladder at the same time and fight atop the ladder. The ladder gets knocked over, Christian eats top rope, RVD manages to catch himself atop the ladder he prepared earlier. RVD realizes where he is and looks like the cat who ate the canary. He goes up the ladder. The very, very, very top! Rob! Van! Dam! Five Star Frog Splash! RVD sets the ladder up under Christian, climbs the ladder, and gets the belt!

Winner: Rob Van Dam wins by retrieving the belt at 13:41.

Rating: **** – Again, a great match – whoever put this DVD together did a great job of picking out some truly good matches.

Bonus Features: A few interviews, plus RVD’s first match against Sabu at Hostile City Showdown (okay, though not as good as some of their later battles) and his match against Balls Mahoney at Anarchy Rulz, which was surprisingly good.

Overall Rating: 9/10 – An excellent compilation package. If you consider your self a wrestling fan, you really ought to pick this up.

WWE – Rob Van Dam – One of a Kind

Date: March 20th, 1994
Location: Madison Square Garden
Commentary: Vince McMahon, Jerry “The King” Lawler.

Background notes: Lex Luger and Bret Hart became co-#1 contenders for the WWF Championship after they became the simultaneous final eliminations of the Rumble. Commissioner Jack Tunney ruled that both men would get a singles shot at then champion Yokozuna, with a coin toss deciding who got a shot first (Lex won). Further Bret had also been feuding with his brother, Owen, after a collision between Bret and Owen caused Owen to be eliminated at the Survivor Series the previous year. Other notable feuds were between Bam Bam Bigelow and (sigh) Doink the Clown, Randy Savage and Crush, and a feud between “HBK” Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon over who was the proper WWF Intercontinental Champion.

We start the show off with a retrospective of all Wrestlemania 1, before a lame opening video. We then get introduced by Vince McMahon, sporting his “I’m going to lose my voice by the end of the night if I keep this up” voice – which is just short of the voice of his Mr. McMahon persona, which has yet to debut. He introduces Little Richard to sing “America The Beautiful”. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Vince introduces Jerry Lawler, who is making his Wrestlemania debut, as his broadcast colleague. Jerry, you’re not wrestling, please put on a shirt. We get a video recap of the Bret & Owen Hart feud up to this point (including a brief bit of Owen being interviewed by Scotty Polo (who, dear readers, may know as Raven).

“The Rocket” Owen Hart vs. Bret “The Hitman” Hart

This is going to be great. I want to mention that we have a much more schnazzy entrance area this time, with sliding doors. Some very nice chain wrestling right off the back, with Bret taking control early on. Owen gets Bret in a waistlock, but Bret manages to flip Owen to the outside. Owen is pissed. Owen rolls in the ring, and then slaps the spit out of Bret. We get back to some chain wrestling, focusing on the ankle and wrists. Bret manages to get a 2-count off of Owen with a nice little roll up in the corner.

We get a nice solid “Let’s Go Bret” chant by the audience. Owen breaks out of his current hold with an elbow to the chin. Owen and Bret do a running chain, with Owen getting clotheslined to the floor. Bret drags Owen back to the ring, both men get into a shoving match, with Bret slapping Owen this time, and getting a rollup for 2. Bret gains control, working over Owen’s arm. Crucifix by Bret for 2.

Owen gets control with a running spinning heel kick. Owen literally kicks Bret out of the ring. Owen picks up Bret and slams him back first into the ring post. Owen throws Bret back in the ring. Owen beats Bret from pillar to post, before hitting a backbreaker and then locking on the Camel Clutch, but Bret manages to power out. Owen hits a belly-to-belly suplex for 2. Owen gets sent for the ride, Owen hits a springboard cross body, which Bret rolls through for 2.

Owen locks on a reverse chinlock on Bret. Owen moves to picking up Bret, but Bret manages to reverse the move so that he lands on Owen for 2. Bret rolls to the outside, and when he goes back in, Owen tries to suplex him back in the ring. Bret reverses. Standing switch. Bridging German suplex by Owen for 2. Owen goes for a vertical suplex, Bret reverses to a Small Package for 2. Bret goes for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, Owen reverses to a Tombstone and goes up top, goes for a flying splash, but Bret rolls out of the way.

Bret hits an inverted atomic drop, covers for 2. Russian leg sweep by Bret for 2. Bret hits a backbreaker and goes up, hits his measured elbow drop for 2. Owen hits a enziguri on Bret and goes to lock on the sharpshooter, but Bret tries to reverse it into one of his own, but Bret breaks out. Owen goes for a pin, 2 count. Owen rolls out of the ring, Bret hits a pescado, but appears to have injured his knee. Owen recovers first and starts working Bret’s knee over, starting with kicks, moving on to slamming it against the ring post, and then to hitting him with a Dragon Screw. Owen applies a Figure-4 leg lock on Bret, but Bret manages to roll over and reverse the hold, forcing Owen to roll to the ropes.

Owen keeps working over Bret’s knee. Bret finally regains control with an enziguri of his own, and he beats his brother from pillar to post. Guillotine legdrop for 2. Bulldog by Bret for 2. Bret connects with a piledriver again for 2. Bret sets Owen up on the top rope. Vertical superplex! Bret can only get 2! Owen finally regains control and locks on the sharpshooter! Bret manages to break out (officially – though he does tap the mat 3 times, loudly) and lock one of his own, but Owen reaches the ropes. Bret goes for a victory roll, but Owen reverses it for 3!

Winner: “The Rocket” Owen Hart by pinfall through a reversed Victory roll at 10:24.
Rating: **** – Bret and Owen put on a clinic. I’m not sure what’s going to top this. I hope that Owen got a title shot later (and it’s a shame he never won a WWF Championship reign). Particularly since Owen got a clean pin.

We’re backstage with Todd Pettingill with Owen for an interview. Owen declares himself “The Best There Is, The Best There Was, and The Best There Ever Will Be.” We go to the ring to Sy Spirling, president (at that time) of the Hair Club For Men, to introduce his newest success story – Howard Finkle! That’s right ladies and gentlemen, he’s got a dashing head of hair.

Mixed Tag Match: Bam Bam Bigelow & Luna Vachon vs. Doink The Clown and Dink The Clown

No good can come of this. Doink and Bam Bam start. Bam basically levels Doink with a series of shoulder blocks and a drop kick. Doink gains control when Bam Bam misses a leg drop. Doink gets the tag to Dink, and Dink wants a shot at Bam Bam, but Bam Bam must tag in Luna. Dink basically makes Luna look like an idiot (poor Luna). Luna finally gets control and finally pounds the crap out of Luna. Dink gets control when Luna misses a top rope splash.

Bam Bam and Doink get tagged in. Doink goes for a sunset flip but Bam Bam reverses it. Doink regains control though. Doink goes up top, goes for a flying leg drop but misses. Bam Bam regains control, and while he’s bouncing off the ropes, he “accidentally” hits Dink with his elbow. Bam Bam goes up and hits a flying headbutt for 3.

Winner: Bam Bam Bigelow with a flying headbutt at 6:10.
Rating: ** – Meh. I’m glad Doink didn’t win.

After the match, we get “Hail To The Chief” over the PA system, revealing that Bill Clinton is attendance this evening, by which I mean a Clinton Impersonator.. Sitting right behind him is Irwin R. Shyster. A fan hands a sign to “Bill”, who holds it up – it appears to be a Bret Hart sign. Whatever.

Falls Count Anywhere: “Macho Man” Randy Savage vs. Crush (w/ Mr. Fuji)

Randy jumps the bell, with Randy and Crush brawling in the entrance way. Crush slams Randy throat first on the railing for 3. According to Finkle (who didn’t get a chance to finish giving the stipulation) when a pin or submission occurs, the pinned wrestler has 60 seconds to get from wherever he was pinned to the ring. So it’s more like a modified Texas Death Match. Fuji smacked Savage in the back with his Japanese flag, but Savage manages to respond the count at the last second.

Crush continues working over Savage. Crush ties Savage in the Tree Of Woe, and works him over a bit, Crush gets some salt slipped to him by Fuji (covertly). Crush tries to throw it into Savage’s face, but Savage reverses it, and continues working over Crush. I will mention that aside from the salt and Fuji’s flagpole no foreign objects were employed. Savage hits the flying elbow, slides crush outside of the ring and gets the pin, but Crush makes it at the last second as well (thanks to Mr. Fuji with a pitcher of ice water.

Savage tries to finish Crush, but he gets back-dropped to the outside. Savage regains control there, and slams Crush against the ring post, the ring steps, and then clotheslines him over the rail. Savage. Crush regains control with a super kick. Crush goes for a piledriver on the concrete, but Savage reverses it into a back drop. Savage takes crush towards the backstage area.. yep, we’re backstage. Is it too early for an ECW chant? Whatever, I’m doing it anyway. Savage gets the pin in some area that’s under construction. I have no idea how he’s going to make this back. Just to make sure Crush doesn’t make it back. Savage ties Crush up by his ankles, and hangs him up by his feet. Let’s see you make the 60 second count now, bitch! And he doesn’t!

Winner: “Macho Man” Randy Savage by pinfall at 9:44 after Crush failed to respond after 1 minute.
Rating: *** – Decent match, but I must admit I got spoiled by the Falls Count Anywhere matches that would come later from the likes of Mick Foley, and the various and sundry people who came through ECW.

Also, as a question for those who have the DVD. Check at 1:01:16. The blond in the lower left corner of the screen – is that Miss Elizabeth? Meanwhile, Todd Pettingill interviews “President Clinton”, with Irwin R. Shyster getting a bit of dialog in. We then get a video package about the WWF Fanfest. We then go to a promo with Savage at the Paramount theater. Is it Intermission already? Nope, guess not.

WWF Woman’s Championship: Lelani Kai vs. Alundra Blayze (c)

This is Blayze’s Wrestlemania debut. She’s previously wrestled in WCW and in All Japan. Kai takes control early on. Interesting (in a bad way, mix of styles here. Lelani doesn’t have much wrestling ability, but Alundra could probably keep up with most luchadors, due to her Joshi experience. The two women trade near-falls, before a scratch on the DVD keeps me from watching the rest of the match. Damn! Ditto with Men On A Mission vs. The Quebecers (Jacques Rougeau and Pierre) for the Tag Team Titles (which would be Scott “Raven” Levy and Pierre’s Wrestlemania Debut), and Lex Luger vs. Yokozuna for the WWF Championship.

So, in short. Blayze beats Kai, Men On A Mission win by count-out, so The Quebecers retain the belts, and Lex Luger gets himself DQ’d, so Yokozuna retains the belt, and will face Bret for the Title in the main event. This leads us into intermission, which is a few recap videos and promos, leading us into…

Ladder Match for the WWF Intercontinental Title: “HBK” Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon w/ Diesel

Now, to win, you have to retrieve not one, but 2 belts, as when the title holder was disputed, both Michaels and Razor were carrying title belts a claiming that they were the legitimate champion. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that this is Diesel’s Wrestlemania Debut, putting all 3 current members of the Kliq in the ring at the same time (albeit briefly).

We start off with some chain wrestling between Razor and Shawn, capping off with a chokeslam by Razor. Another fast sequence capping off with a neckbreaker by Michaels. More wrestling with Razor getting thrown to the outside. Diesel clotheslines Razor, leading to Diesel being ejected from the building. This gives Razor time to recover and regroup. Razor takes control, smacking Shawn around inside and outside the ring. Razor takes a little too much time outside the ring, taking up some of the mats by the ring (to expose the concrete), allowing Shawn to regain control for a bit. Razor levels Shawn with a big right hand, and goes for the Razor’s Edge, (his powerbomb finisher), only to have it reversed into a backdrop over the top rope, that leaves Razor sprawled on the concrete (oh, the irony).

HBK goes for the ladder, but Razor manages to get back to his feet, across the ring, and then floors Michaels (who was takng his sweet time. Razor sets the ladder on the apron, but HBK baseball slides the ladder into Razor! ECW! ECW! ECW! Razor painfully slides into the ring, and gets to his feet, only to have HBK nail Razor in the gut with the ladder like a battering ram. Michaels then slams the ladder on Razor’s gut, and then smacks him a few more times for good measure. Michaels finally sets up the ladder and starts climbing. Razor manages to grab HBK’s ankle, then the back of his tights, and we have a full moon in New York City, and the ladies in the audience are going wild! We get a full shot of muscular buttocks, briefly, as Michaels (who has his priorities straight, I guess) drops an elbow off the ladder on Razor, and then corrects his clothing. I haven’t heard squeeing of the like since the first time Jeff Hardy took off his shirt.

HBK then sets the ladder up in the corner, slams Razor, and goes back up again, and hits a big splash on Razor. Michael sets the ladder back up on the right place, and goes back up the ladder again. Razor shoves over the ladder, and Michaels gets flapjacked on the top rope. Michaels recovers about the same time as Razor, and they get a few more pieces of chain wresting togeather, before they run into each other and nearly knock each other out. HBK sets the ladder up in the corner, and goes to whip Razor into the corner, but Razor reverses it and HBK eats the ladder and goes flipping over to the outside. Razor takes the ladder outside the ring, and repays Shawn in kind for his ladder strikes earlier, and with interest. Razor sets up the ladder now, but Michaels recovers and goes up the turnbuckle, and manages to take down Razor – but the ladder falls on HBK. Physics is apparently not HBK’s friend right now.

Razor sets up the ladder and both men start climbing the ladder at the same time. The two men trade blows on top of the ladder, with Razor getting the better hand and hip-tossing Michaels, but the ladder buckles. Razor climbs up the twisted ladder, reaches the belts, but Michaels dropkicks the ladder, knocking off Razor. HBK drags Razor to his feet, whips him, and then hits a Sweet Chin Music! Finally, Michaels goes for the Razor’s Edge, but he can’t lift him all the way, so he piledrives him instead. Michaels gets on the top turnbuckle with the ladder, and rides it down on Razor. These guys have done everything with the ladder short of Pillmanizing each other and suplexing the thing.

Michaels sets the ladder up over Razor (smart idea) and Michaels goes up, but Razor recovers, and shoves the ladder over, and Michaels gets crotched on the top rope, with his ankle tied in the rope. Razor sets up the ladder, and HBK can only look on as Razor retrieves the belts.

Winner: Razor Ramon by retrieving the belts at 19:49. Ramon is the Undisputed WWF Intercontinental Champion.
Rating: **** – Excellent match. This match basically wrote the book on the modern ladder match.

We then get a very, very brief vignette backstage establishing that we’re not having the 5-on-5 tag team match, as the Heels can’t decide on a team captain (allowing Jeff Jerret to get his Wrestlemania Debut).. This then leads to a vignette between the Bill Clinton impersonator, Todd Pettingill, and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase. Finally, a vignette on the Hitman/Yokozuna feud. Finally, we’re introduced to our guest timekeeper, Jenny Garth, and our guest ring announcer, Burt Reynolds (again, oh how the mighty have fallen). Burt basically phones it in for doing the announcements, showing slightly less enthusiasm than Ben Stein would show. Burt first introduces our special guest Ref – “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, and the crowd (and I) go nuts.

WWF Championship: Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. Yokozuna (c) w/ Mr. Fuji & Jim Cornette

Jim Cornette is making his Wrestlemania debut. Yokozuna jumps Bret before the bell. Both men trade blows in the ring, with Yokozuna taking control. Bret tries in vain to knock the mighty oak of Yokozuna down, with Yokozuna finally taking control. Yokozuna repeatedly hits Bret in the head (with Bret still selling his kayfabe leg injury from earlier in the night). Bret ultimately manages to regain control with some brawling (which is unusual for Bret).

Bret finally floors Yokozuna and goes for the pin, but Cornette drags Piper out of the ring. Not a bright one, that boy. Piper kind of shrugs, goes “what can I do” and levels Cornette. However, Yokozuna finally gets a chance to recover and regain control, throwing Bret out of the ring. Yokozuna waits for the count, but Bret manages to respond. Yokozuna whips Bret into the corner and goes for the big splash but misses. Bret manages to hit a bulldog and goes for the pin, but only gets 2. Bret goes up and hits the measured elbow drop for 2. Bret and Yokozuna return to their feet, with Bret continues working over Yokozuna. Lariat by Bret for 2. Bret goes up, and goes for a flying forearm, but Yokozuna catches him and hits a belly-to-belly suplex. Yokozuna drags Bret to the corner and goes up. Yokozuna goes for the Banzai Drop, but Yokozuna loses his balance and falls back, and Bret rolls out of the way. Bret makes the cover and gets the 3.

Winner… and NEW WWF Champion: Bret “The Hitman” Hart by pinfall at 10:32.
Rating: *** – Perfectly Acceptable Match.

After the match, Yokozuna doesn’t take kindly to Piper having counted three, and he chases Bret to the back. Lex comes out to the ring, and Lex and Bret shake hands. Piper returns, as does the rest of the faces (and Burt Reynolds) who celebrate with Bret, allowing the Sean Waltman (as the 1-2-3 Kid) to make his Wrestlemania debut, as well as Bob Holly (as Sparky Plugg) and Billy and Bart Gunn (as The Smoking Gunns). Owen then comes out, and doesn’t celebrate, simply looks on from the entrance way in disbelief and anger. The Owen-Bret feud is far from over.

Overall Rating: **** – Hell of an opener, and the ladder match was great. Alas, I wasn’t able to see many of the other matches on the card due to damage to the disk. All in all, though, the event was enjoyable, and I would recommend picking it up.

Wrestlemania VIII

Date: April 5, 1992
Location: The Hoosier Dome – Indianapolis, Indiana.
Our hosts are Gorilla Monsoon and Bobby The Brain Heenan.

A little background: “HBK” Shawn Michaels has finally, and dramatically, split off from The Rockers by super-kicking Marty Janetty through a plate-glass window during Brutus Beefcake’s talk-show segment, “The Barber Shop”. Also, “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair jumped ship from WCW to the WWF, with the Big Gold Belt, and won the WWF Championship, ultimately leading to Randy Savage coming out of enforced retirement to try and win the belt back – well, that and the nekkid pictures of Miss Elizabeth that Flair said he had.

Champions:

• WWF Heavyweight Champion: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair

• WWF Intercontinental Champion: “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.

• WWF Tag Team Champions: Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase & Irwin R. Shyster w/ Jimmy Hart)

Before the first match, Reba McEntire sings the Star Spangled Banner – this being back when she was a Country star, rather then a sitcom star. Frankly, I hadn’t heard her sing live, or acapella for that matter – and she’s very good.

“HBK” Shawn Michaels w/ Sensational Sherri vs. “El Matador” Tito Santana

Poor Tito. He has since gotten saddled with a Matador gimmick. As if becoming a glorified jobber isn’t enough. At least he gets a show of respect from Reba as she heads for the back. Heenan makes a few racist remarks against Tito. I miss Jesse. Jesse would just make a remark about gallantry not getting you anywhere. Apparently the WWE’s still got the rights to the original version of “Sexy Boy” (with vocals by Sherri Martel).

Michaels is really eating up his new heel status. Tito starts up pretty strong and gets a 2 count off a high cross body. Tito locks on a side headlock for a bit, before HBK breaks out. Quick running chain wrestling by both men, before Tito lariats him clean out of the ring. Tito drags HBK back in, and Tito locks on the side headlock, before HBK breaks out by pulling on Tito’s ponytail. HBK regains control with some good strikes, before Tito locks the rest hold-er-side headlock right back on.

Tito gets a series of 2-counts off a side-headlock, followed by a 2-count off a small package. Shawn finally regains control by throwing Tito clean out of the ring. Tito crawls back to the ring and ends up on the receiving end of a back breaker for 2. Shawn locks on a side-headlock, but Tito breaks out with some elbows, only to hear some Sweet Chin Music. While Shawn poses for the crowd, I might as well point out that Sherri’s outfit leaves little to the imagination, especially that skirt. Shawn goes for a Teardrop Suplex (leg-hook Saito Suplex) but gets it reversed. Tito goes for a back drop, but Shawn reverses it. Shawn sends Tito for the ride, but Tito responds with a flying forearm that sends Shawn clean out of the ring.

Tito sends Shawn back in the ring and hits a springboard flying forearm on Shawn. Tito hits an inverted atomic drop and another flying forearm that sends Shawn back out of the ring again. Shawn gets up on the apron and Tito tries to body-slam him in, but Shawn reverses it with a strike that sends Tito to the mat with Shawn on top, for the pin.

Winner: HBK Shawn Michaels with an reversed bodyslam at 10:38.

Rating: *** – Not bad – Tito got a good showing in, which considering where his career was at the time, wasn’t half bad.

After the match, we get a few shots of women in the audience, who are loving HBK. This leads to a Okerlund interview with the Legion of Doom and their manager, Paul Ellering, who is making his Wrestlemania debut. No, The Legion is not wrestling today. They’re just cutting a promo on “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart, Irwin R. Shyster (who is making his Wrestlemania debut), and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase (who make up Money Inc.). But they’re not wrestling them. So… why are we getting this interview?
Quotable Quotes: Ellering – “We earn our money the old fashioned way… beating people for it!”

After that interview, we get Sean Mooney interview with Jake “The Snake” Roberts (who is now sporting a naked woman with a strategically placed snake airbrushed on the legs of his tights). Apparently Mooney has never heard of Damien, and has never seen Jake bring Damien to the ring. We then get a little recap of Jake’s appearance on The Funeral Parlor (Paul Bearer’s talk show) where Jake traps ‘Taker’s hand in the casket, knocks the urn away from Bearer and then hits Bearer with a DDT. Now, this is Wrestlemania, and Jake’s facing The Undertaker, so you’ve got 3 guesses to how this will turn out, and the first 2 don’t count.
Quotable Quotes: Mooney – “I have to ask you about several rumors that claim that you are going to bring a snake to the ring.”

Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs. The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer

‘Taker’s entrance loses some of it’s impact when it doesn’t have the lighting effects, I’ve noticed. It still has it’s effect though – the kids in the audience look scared.

I’ve noticed that ‘Taker’s original wrestling style reminds me of Michael Myers from Halloween, slow, deliberate, invincible – which makes for a nice contrast with Jake’s fast footwork. Jake pounds on Taker for a bit, before Taker sends him outside the ring and sends him into a ring post before both men return to the ring and Jake returns to beating on the Phenom. Jake goes for an Irish whip from coast to to coast, but ‘Taker resists and reverses, and then chokes Roberts in the corner. Taker continues with that one-handed choke, with the occasional strike every now and then as well.

Undertaker stops choking for a bit to hit his Big Flying Forearm of Doom. Taker goes for the Tombstone, but Jake reverses into a DDT. However, Jake doesn’t capitalize with a pin, and the Undertaker sits up! Clothesline by Taker again, and Roberts signals for the DDT, and again Roberts doesn’t capitalize, instead going out of the ring to attack Bearer, and Undertaker sits up! Undertaker follows Roberts out of the ring, and hits a Tombstone on the ringside mat! Undertaker rolls Jake in, and Roberts can Rest In Peace.

Winner: The Undertaker by pinfall with a Tombstone Piledriver at 6:41.

Rating: *** – Again, not bad. Not great. They had to contrive why Roberts didn’t win after the DDT though, with the failure to capitalize.

We then go backstage for an Okerlund interview with “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and Bret “Hitman” Hart, who are facing each other this evening in an IC title match. Piper brings up that he and Bret were trained by the same guy, Stu Hart (though Piper, as per usual, too a roundabout way of saying it).

WWF Intercontinental Championship: Bret “Hitman” Hart vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper (c)

As Piper and Hart have a brief little staring contest in the ring, a couple fans try to put up a “Four Horsemen 4 Ever” sign in the crowd. Hart and Piper lock up – with Hart hitting an couple of arm drags before we get some great chain wrestling. They then move into a test of strength, or a “Greco-Roman knuckle lock” as Jesse Ventura would call it, before both men start trading arm wringers, before Bret locks one on that Piper can’t break out of, , ultimately turning it into an arm bar that Piper does break out of, only to end up eating a standing drop kick. Small package by Hart for 2. Hart hits a high running cross body by the ropes that sends both men rolling over to the outside.

Piper makes it back to the ring first. Piper opens the ropes to let hart in, but then cheap-shots Hart when the ref points out to Hart that his boot is untied, making for an nice twist on the oldest trick n the book. Piper hits a bulldog, and Bret is bust wide open! Piper covers for 2. Piper hits a big knee to the head of Bret for 2. Bret gets a sunset flip for 2. Piper regains control with a series of jabs for 2. Bret hits a series of slaps and a flying forearm that sends Piper to the outside of the ring. Piper gets men and both clothesline each other. Piper goes up top, but Hart stops him, hits a face slam, and inverted atomic drop and a snap suplex for 2. Russian Legsweep for 2. Bret’s wearing the crimson mask on the upper quarter of his face. Hart tries to lock on the Sharpshooter, but Piper blocks it, and Hart goes up top and goes for that measured elbow drop, but Piper gets a boot up to block it.

Piper accidentally sends Piper into the Ref and sends him out of the Ring, Piper beats up Bret outside of the ring, before sending Bret back into the ring, and grabbing the ring bell. Piper goes to clock Bret with the bell, but Piper has second thoughts and changes his mind, locking on the sleeper instead, but Bret reverses it into a float-over springboard back press for the pin.

Winner: Bret “Hitman” Hart by pinfall with a float-over springboard back press at 13:49. Bret is the new WWF Intercontinental Champion.

Rating: *** – Again, a good match – but not stellar. Now I’m wondering if ROH got me spoiled.

After the match, Piper helps Bret to his feet and puts the belt on him. We then go the announce booth, where Heenan introduces us to the newest member of the World Bodybuilding Federation, and future champion… Lex Luger. Well, the WBF didn’t go anywhere, but Lex did, at least for a little bit. But again, Lex is sitting in his front room (or in a hotel room) watching TV and putting over the WBF… which isn’t showing up on this card at all. So… why isn’t this interview on WWF Superstars?

Quotable Quotes: Monsoon (to Heenan, about Lex): “You found somebody more conceited than you are!”

We then go to The Nasty Boys, Repo Man and The Mountie (Jacques Rougeau), who cut a promo on their team upcoming match against Big Boss Man, Sgt. Slaughter, Virgil, and (groan) “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. We then go to Slaughter’s team, who cuts their own promo on their “worthy” opponents. I smell a stinkburger.

Quotable Quotes: Duggan – “There ain’t gonna be no take downs! There ain’t gonna be no go-behinds.” Nor, apparently, will there be any grammar.

The Nasty Boys (Brian Knobbs and Jerry Sags), The Mountie, and Repo Man w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Sgt. Slaughter, Big Boss Man, Virgil and “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan

Both teams are introduced by special guest ring-announcer Ray Combs of “Family Feud” who stalls, delaying the inevitable. The only way, I fear, a good match could come out of this would be if it was a hardcore match, which is not the stipulations of this match. Fortunately, his stalling is funny.

Quotable Quotes: “Of 100 people surveyed here this evening… (about the Nasty Boys) they agree that they are two men sharing 1 brain… their tag team success can be summed up in 1 word – Lucky.” (At this point Ray has to roll out of the ring because the Nasty’s break free of their tag team partners).

The ref loses control right away, as the faces clean the heels out of the ring. Boss Man is wearing Corellian coward stripes (as his pants have yellow stripes on the legs). We get Duggan and Sags as the legal men. Sags takes control or a bit, before Duggan tags in Sarge, and Sags tags in Knobbs. Both men trade offense before Slaughter tags in BBM. Knobs dominates Bossman for a bit, before tagging in Repo Man. Bossman tags in Virgil after kicking Repo between the uprights. Repo manages to regain control, tags in Sags, who gets a 2-count after a pumphandle slam. Mountie comes on, goes up top, gets caught by Bossman, and things degenerate into a slobberknocker. Knobbs grabs Virgil’s face mask, and goes to clobber Virgil with it, but misses and clobbers Sags, who then gets pinned by Virgil.

Winner: The faces by pinfall because the Knobbs couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn, at 6:39.

Rating: * – I could have gone without seeing that.

We then go backstage with a Mooney interview with Flair and his executive consultant, Mr. Perfect. They promise that after they win, they’ll put up their pinup picture of Miss Elizabeth on the big screen. We then go to Okerlund who is trying to get an interview with “Macho Man” Randy Savage, but he’s not giving interviews.

World Wrestling Federation Championship: “Nature Boy” Ric Flair (c) w/ “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig vs. “Macho Man” Randy Savage

If you thought Bret bled in his match, I expect Flair to be wearing the crimson mask. Savage sprints out to the ring, possibly beating Warrior’s record. Savage chases Flair around the ring before we get the bell after Savage attacks Flair in the entrance way. Perfect manhandles Savage back to the ring area, so we can properly get this match started. Flair hits those signature knife edge chops (which probably don’t hurt that much, since Savage is wearing a shirt, but Savage regains control early on. Savage beats Flair from pillar to post, before Flair reverses it with a back drop that sends Savage out to the floor.

Flair rolls out and hits those big chops, before slamming Savage into the apron, and casually walking back into the ring. Savage gets smacked around by Flair in the ring for a bit, before Flair puts him in the corner for a some turnbuckle chops, and then a vertical suplex for 2. Side suplex by Flair for 2. Flair whips Savage from coast-to-coast, before leveling him with a big chop for 2, followed by a knee drop. Savage rolls out of the ring, but Flair follows and smacks Randy around some more. Another vertical suplex from the apron in by Flair for 2. Flair pauses for a moment to remind the ref that there is in fact a number after 2 and he should be counting it.

Flair returns to serving some yummy, yummy chops up to Savage in the turnbuckle. Mmm… chops. Savage starts to build up some momentum with some forearms, capping off with a swinging reverse neckbreaker. Flair goes up top, but Savage catches him and throws him off the top with authority. Savage spits in Flair’s face., and flips Flair onto the apron. Flair goes back up again, goes for a flying clothesline, but Savage hits a clothesline of his own for 2. Flair goes for a clothesline, Save ducks it and responds with one of his own, sending Flair to the outside. Savage goes up, and hits a double axe-handle that sends Flair into the apron, and Flair is bust open. Savage beats Flair on the outside of the ring. Savage quickly breaks the count, before hitting a vertical suplex on Flair on the mat, and sends Flair back into the ring. Savage continues to ground and pound Flair, and then goes up and hits another double axe-handle for 2.

Savage goes back up again and hits the Flying Elbow but Perfect drags Savage out of the ring before he can get the 3-count. Savage chases Perfect, but as Perfect goes past Flair, he drops a pair of knucks to Flair, who waffles Savage for 2. Maybe it’s just me, but Flair’s hair always makes his bleeding seem much worse then it really is. While the ref is chewing out Flair, Perfect nails Savage with a chair. Elizabeth is on her way out to the ring now. Meanwhiles, Flair connects with a knee breaker and locks on the Figure Four Leglock, but Savage manages to reverse the hold, forcing Flair to break it. Savages reverses a slam into a small package for 2, and then hits a few strikes before getting a roll-up for the pin.

Winner: “Macho Man” Randy Savage by pinfall with a roll-up at 18:04, and is

Rating: **** – Very good match. Even thought I knew how it ended (from a previous Wrestlemania thingie I read), I really got into this match.

After the match, Flair tries to kiss Elizabeth – mistake! Savage snaps and chokes the crap out of Flair. These two aren’t done – if they have anything to say about it. Perfect gets a few shots in as well. Eventually, security breaks both groups up, and Flair and Perfect head to the back, while Savage and Elizabeth celebrate. We then go to the back with Mooney, who interviews Flair… again. Bobby “The Brain” Heenan comes out to argue on Flair and Perfect’s behalf. Flair demands a rematch. You know, Flair, Perfect, Heenan. We’ve almost got the Horsemen. We then go to Okerlund with Savage and Elizabeth. Savage is still selling that leg – either he’s really that dedicated, or he’s really injured. Either way, cut him some slack, and get him a crutch or a chair as a prop, jeez. Oh, and while Savage is a face, and is treating Elizabeth with respect, she still doesn’t get any promo time.

As we’re still in Intermission, we then go to the Wrestlemania VIII press conference, where Hogan was named Number 1 Contender over Sid Justice (later known as Sycho Sid, and then Sid Vicious), and generally recapping the Hogan/Sid Justice feud. As we finish up the Intermission, we have Native Americans of the Lumbee tribe (which is Tatanka’s tribe), before we go backstage to Sean Mooney and an interview with “The Model” Rick Martel.

“The Model” Rick Martel vs. Tatanka

This is Tatanka’s Wrestlemania Debut. Tatanka and Martel lock up, with Martel taking control early on, before Tatanka turned it around, while Heenan loses his temper in the ring. Tatanka is pretty much dominating this match. Martel manages to get Tatanka on the outside briefly – very briefly. Martel hits a gut-breaker and goes up top, but gets caught by Tatanka who chops the crap out of them, followed by a big back drop. Note – Tatanka’s tights make him look like he’s wearing a thong. That’s not a good thing. Anyway, Tatanka hits a high-cross body for the pin.

Winner: Tatanka by pinfall with a high cross body at 4:32.

Rating: ** – Martel, you were not berried in this match, but I suspect that’s because you were berried in a previous match that I haven’t seen yet. That said, since this is not your berrial match, I’ll refrain from posting any pictures of fruit.

After the match we go backstage to Money Inc. who cut a promo on the Natural Disasters – Earthquake and Typhoon. We then go to Okerlund with the Natural Distasters, who cut a promo of their own.

WWF Tag Team Championship: Money Inc. (Ted DiBiase & Irwin R. Shyster w/ Jimmy Hart) (c) vs. The Natural Disasters (Earthquake and Typhoon)

While I’m waiting for the Natural Diasters to enter the ring, I’d like to mention that I rather like DiBiase’s entrance music. This is the Wrestlemania Debut of Typhoon. Shyster has previously appeared at Wrestlemania, but as a Face, under his real name of Mike Rotunda, as part of the U.S. Express at Wrestlemania 1, where they lost the Tag titles to the Iron Shiek and Nikolai Volkoff.

Money, Inc has a little discussion on who will start. Ultimately, DiBiase and Earthquake start out. Earthquake blocks all DiBiase strength moves. So, DiBiase tries brawling and striking moves without success. The Disasters manhandle Money Inc. I just happened to notice that Hart is sticking with just one suit this Wrestlemania. Normally he’s wearing a different suit for every match. Not so this Wrestlemania. Typhoon is now the legal man. Shyster gets tagged in and finds himself playing Heel In Peril. Shyster gets into the turnbuckle but quickly evades a turnbuckle splash, and tags in DiBiase, who gets a few strikes in before getting, (*ahem*) squashed.

DiBiase manages to get Typhoon on the outside and Shyster smacks his head against the steps, before throwing him back in. Money Inc gets some very nice tag team wrestling in, as well as some good technical wrestling, and ultimately making Typhoon face-in-peril. Earthquake manages to get control and goes for the big splash, but Hart drags Shyster (currently the legal man) out of the ring, and Money Inc, heads for the back, accepting the count-out, but retaining the titles.

Winners: The Natural Disasters by count-out at 8:35. Money Inc. retains the title.

Rating: ** – (Chanting) Bull-shit! Bull-shit! (/chanting)

We then go to Okerlund who interviews Brutus Beefcake about his boating accident that lead to his facial reconstruction surgery, and about the Hogan/Justice feud.

“The Rocket” Owen Hart vs. Crush

This is Skinner’s Wrestlemania debut. Skinner jumps Owen at the bell. Shoulder-breaker by Skinner, leading to a ground-and-pound. Owen’s outfit is hideously gaudy, blue with checkerboard suspenders and checkerboard patches on the legs. Skinner hits a reverse DDT but Owen kicks out. Skinner throws Owen out of the ring, but Owen skins the cat and rolls up Skinner for the pin.

Winner: Owen Hart with a roll-up at 1:09.

Rating: Dud – Squash match – Owen is talented, why not put him in a longer match?

We then go backstage to Okerlund with Sid Justice and his manager, Harvey Wippleman, who cuts a promo on Hulk Hogan, swearing to end Hogan’s career.

Quotable Quotes: Justice – “ (*screaming*) Curse you! I curse you Hogan, and every Hulkamaniac! (*quiet-but-intense*) Because I rule the world.”

Sid Justice w/ Dr. Harvey Whippleman vs. Hulk Hogan

So, we’re at our real main event… and it’s not a title match. Yeah, Hogan puts asses in the seats, but you’d think you’d want the Championship match in the second half in the show, rather then the top of the first half.

Hogan and Justice duke it out in the ring, with Justice taking control early on. Hogan regains control by knocking Justice out of the ring with two punches. Justice regroups outside of the ring, and challenges hogan to a Test of Strength. Justice forces down Hogan, but he manages to get back up briefly after hulking up, before getting forced back down again. Hogan hulks back up again, getting back to a vertical base, but Justice forces Hogan into the corner. Mistake. Hogan regains control and whips Hogan into the corner. Hogan sends Justice coast to cost and then hits a corner splash. Justice responds with a choke slam, but doesn’t capitalize, instead choosing to mug for the camera. Hogan gets back to a vertical base, so Justice beats him around again. Justice hits a sidewalk slam (which Monsoon mis-calls a Side-Suplex) and hits a sit-out power bomb and covers, but Hogan kicks out at 2 and Hulks up properly. Hogan hits the 3 Moves of Doom, but Justice kicks out, and Whippleman comes in and lays hands on Hogan, getting the DQ.

Winner: Hulk Hogan by DQ at 12:27.

Rating: * – Bull-shit!

After the match, Papa Shango (who you may remember as the Godfather) runs in and he and Justice tie Hogan up in the ropes and attack Hogan. Then, enter The Ultimate Warrior to make the save. Warrior clotheslines Shango out of the ring, but takes a chair shot to the back by Justice – but as Warrior’s holding the ropes it does precisely jack and shit. Warrior sends Justice out of the ring, and Warrior and Hogan celebrate after the match. This event feels like Russo on a good day – Interviews by people who don’t have matches, forwarding storylines that don’t show up on this event, and a messy, over-booked finish in the main event.

Overall: ** – Until the last half of the show, I would have given this three starts, but the last half of the show cost this a whole star. Meh.

A little background coming in:

At the Four-Way Iron Man match for the Ring of Honor title (I still need to get that event, by the way), Low Ki came out with the win, and became the Ring of Honor World Champion. Coming into Unscripted I believe he’s gotten a few title defenses under his belt, before facing Xavier (who made it into the quarter-finals at Road To The Title before getting beat by Red).

However, the start of the show is going to be a tournament to crown the first ROH Tag Team Champions – and unlike Road To The Title, we’re actually going to crown the champions at this show!

On the one hand, it’s another tournament show, and as I’ve said before, Tournaments tend to be meh, just because of the nature of the format.

However, since this is a Tag Team tournament, the tag team part may work in the tournament’s favor. I’ll be keeping an eye on this as I watch the event.

Ring of Honor: Unscripted

Location: Philadelphia, PA (at the Murphy Recreation Center).
Date: September 21st, 2002.
Commentary: Ray Murrow and Chris Levy.

We start out with Gary Michael Cappetta (who is apparently ROH’s new interviewer) in the ring with Paul London. London’s scheduled partner, Spanky is unable to participate in the tournament for the ROH Tag Titles for some reason, so London’s going to announce his new Tag Partner… “American Dragon” Brian Danielson. Danielson comes out to the ring, but before he can say word one, out comes Michael Shane to start some shit with London. London takes out Shane and drops out of the tournament to take on Shane later in the night in a Street Fight. This leaves Danielson in the tournament without a partner. This brings us to…

Quarterfinal Match: The SAT (Jose & Joel Maximo) vs. The Prophecy (Christopher Daniels & Donovan Morgan w/ Simply Luscious)

Daniels and Morgan jump at the SAT at the bell (since they don’t do that whole “hand shaking” thing – see my last recap), but SAT takes control with some great double team moves. The SAT lock Daniels and Morgan in a Boston Crab and Camel Clutch (respectively). Daniels is released and sent out of the ring. Morgan (still in the hold) eats a dropkick and baseball slide for 2.

Morgan gets the tag to Chris, but Joel shuts him down as soon as he comes in. The SAT dominates for a bit more, before Morgan manages to get Joel out of the ring by pulling down the top rope when Joel bounces off. Chris then goes and knocks Jose off the apron. Donovan works Joel over a bit on the outside before throwing him in the ring and getting tagged in, after deciding that Joel fits the part of Ricky Morton perfectly. Morgan and Daniels work in and out for a bit, before Daniels gets a 2-count off a back heel kick.

Joel floors Donovan and Chris and makes the Tag to Hose, who comes in like a Casa! En! Fuego! He wails on the prophecy for a bit, before The Prophecy manages to regain control Jose is sent outside, with Daniels and Morgan following. Joel builds up a head of steam for a suicide dive, only to have Luscious grab his ankle. Daniels comes in and tries to jump him, but Joel pulls down the top rope. At this point female “ringside fan” who Daniels and Morgan had been arguing with during their entrance, jumps the rail goes up top, and hits a perfect Asai moonsault to take out Daniels before carrying Luscious to the back. Meanwhile, the SAT nail Morgan with the Maximo Explosion (like the Doomsday Device, but instead of a clothesline, it’s a Tornado DDT). Daniels is back in. The SAT goes for the Spanish Fly, but is sort of blocked by Morgan, who pulls one of the Maximos off, though the other Maximo hits a solo Spanish fly for 2. Morgan hits the Sayonara (sitout double underhook facebuster) for the pin.

Finish: The Prophecy wins by pinfall with the Sayonara at 7:40.
Rating: *** – I originally gave this four-stars, but that might have been the not-Wrestlemania talking.

We go back stage to the Far East Connection, Dick Togo and Ikuto Hidaka, who are talking amongst themselves, only to be startled by the Christopher Street Connection, with their manager Allison Danger (Steve Corino’s sister), and Japanese Pool Boy – their valet, who are there to flirt. This FEC doesn’t take them very well, and threatens them until they leave. We then go to The FBI – James Maritato (who is trying to drop what he considers a comedy gimmick) and Tony Mamaluke, who are getting ready for their next match and arguing over the entrance music. Hmm… tag team partners not getting along, never a good sign.

Tournament Quarterfinal: The Far East Connection (Dick Togo and Ikuto Hidaka) vs. The Full Blooded Italians (Tony Mamaluke & James Maritato)

Hidaka and Maritato start, with some stellar chain wrestling that only stops for Hidaka to tag in Togo and Maritato to tag in Mamaluke, who picks up right where their partners left off. Togo finally gets a little bit of control and tags in Hidaka, and locks Mamaluke in and Abdominal stretch, while Hidaka connects with a standing dropkick to Mamaluke’s face.

Mamaluke manages to make the tag to James, who gets the same move and appears to lose a tooth. Hidaka follows this up with a baseball slide to James’ prone head. As an aside to the Britpack and others from countries that don’t play Baseball – do your wrestling announcers call what we would call a “baseball slide” a “football tackle”? Anyway, James tries to get up but stumbles into hostile territory. Hidaka sends James for the ride, goes for a powerslam but James reverses it into an Ankle Lock.

Hidaka reaches the ropes but gets cheap-shotted by Mamaluke, which annoys Jim. Tony gets tagged in and hits an ankle breaker into a dragon screw. Tony keeps working on Hidaka’s leg. 2-count off a leg drop. The FBI applies a double Fujiwara armbar on Hidaka, before the ref breaks up half of the hold. Jim keeps working over the arms before the FEC regains control with an double leglock. Tony breaks up that hold. Sit-out powerbomb by Hidaka as a desperation move. Both men go for the tag and get it.

All four men end up in the ring, in a big brawl. Spinning DDT by Togo on Tony for 2. James get tossed out of the ring. Togo hits a double underhook facebuster, then goes up top and connects with a senton for the pin.

Finish: The Far East Connection by pinfall with a senton at 9:46.
Rating: **** – Excellent tag match. I’d love to see these two teams wrestle a longer match.

Post match, Gary Michael Cappetta interviews Maritato and Mamaluke. Maritato basically blames Tony for the loss and says that by holding on to the “comedy gimmick” he’s holding both men back, and challenges him to a match at the next show. Tony gets pissed off at the gimmick being labeled as a comedy gimmick and he challenges Maritato to a match right now.

James Maritato vs. Tony Mamaluke

Right after the hand shake, Mamaluke hits a belly to belly suplex, James goes to the apron for a breather, and evades a baseball slide. Mamaluke goes for a russian leg sweep off the apron, but James shoves tony through the guard rail. So, apparently it’s “Take Home a Disgruntled ECW Alum Night” at Ring of Honor. Darn – shame I missed it.

Maritato gets whipped into another guard rail, showing that no, they’re not pre-treated, they’re just shitty. Tony grabs the ring bell and goes to hit Jim with it, only to end up eating guard rail himself with a drop toe hold. Considering how easily dented they appear to be, it’s probably chewable. The two men brawl on the outside for a bit, with Jim getting bust wide open. They return to the ring, and Tony connects with a belly to back suplex. Cocky pin for 2. Maritato hits a victory roll for two. Maritato gets a 2-count off another drop kick. Maritato hits a low blow and covers. Maritato gets a hand on the ropes, but the ref is out of position and counts 3.

Finish: Tony Mamaluke by pinfall with a low blow at 2:59.
Rating: *** – That’s how you do a short match.

After the match, Maritato declares the victory doesn’t count due to shenanigans. I declare that he needs to eat more dairy, like cheese, which would complement the whine. James repeats his challenge, with the added stipulation that if James wins, the FBI becomes a serious team. Backstage, Chapetta interviews American Dragon, who introduces his new tag partner, Michael Modest.

Tournament First Round Match: Divine Storm (Christ Divine & Quiet Storm) vs. “American Dragon” Brian Danielson & Michael Modest

Danielson and Storm lock up, with some great chain technical wrestling. Storm tries to lock on a Fujiwara armbar ,but Modest breaks the hold. Storm tags in Divine. More chain wrestling, including an attempt to hit a Famouser by Divine which Dragon tries to reverse, only to have that reversed into a ‘Rana. Divine takes down Dragon and locks on a chicken wing variant. The hold started out looking like Fujiwara Armbar, so I’m going to call it a Fujiwara Chicken-Wing.

Dragon tags in Modest, who drills Divine with a series of forearms in the corner. Modest continues the offense with a series of running elbow drops to Divines throat, capping up with calmly walking over divine and giving a big grin. Modest tags Dragon in. 2-count by dragon. Dragon serves divine a big plate of chops before tagging in Modest, who hits an Uranage suplex for 2.

Divine goes for a ‘rana but doesn’t have the leverage (read: the move is no-sold), so he goes for a Russian Leg Sweep instead. Storm comes in to stop Dragon and hits the Spinal Shock (a back-to-back Atomic Drop.) Divine works over Modest in the corner, while Storm pursues Dragon to the floor. Dragon and Storm trade forearms on the outside, while Divine connects with a brainbuster on the inside. Divine goes up top, Modest follows and Modest hits a Fisherman’s Superplex and bridges for the pin.

Winner: Danielson and Modest by pinfall with a Fisherman’s Superplex at 6:22.
Rating: **** – Great wrestling, as well as showing off a few moves that are, at least, new to me.

The next scheduled match was Da Hit Squad vs. The Natural Born Sinners – however, The Carnage Crew jumped the Sinners before the match, “injuring” Boogaloo, and then attacked Da Hit Squad in the ring, eliminating them as well. So, Danielson and Modest get a bye.

Semi-Final: Far East Connection vs. The Prophecy
Daniels and Togo start out and lock up with some chain wrestling, leading to a DDT by Togo. Both men tag out, giving us Morgan and Hidaka. I’ll take this point to mention that Simply Luscious is absent from ringside. Morgan and Hidaka trade forearms and chops respectively, leading to more chain wrestling. Hidaka, being new to ROH and unfamiliar with The Prophecy, realizes that they haven’t shook hands, and puts his hand out for Morgan to shake, leading to a cheap shot, a tag to Daniels, and all 4 men brawling in the ring, Morgan and Togo on the outside, Daniels and Hidaka on the inside briefly, until they take it to ringside as well, with Daniels hitting a bodyslam on the floor, and then an elbow drop off the apron.

Daniels rolls Hidaka back in the ring. Hidaka regains control and tags in Togo. Togo starts with ah ead lock, moves to a front facelock as Daniels tries to regain a vertical base, and then slams him back down and locks on a STF. Morgan breaks up the hold. Hidaka gets tagged back in and cranks up the speed a little bit. Drop Kick & DDT double team by the FEC for 2. Belly to back suplex for 2. Daniels regains control with a low blow and tags in Morgan.

Morgan hits a series of suplexes on Hidaka for 2. Tag to daniels, followed by an elbow drop and leg drop series by both men for 2. Springboard moonsault by Daniels for 2. Morgan gets the tag and works over Hidaka some more. Hidaka reverses a back drop into a sunset flip for 2.

Daniels comes in, nails Togo off the apron with a forearm and hits a snap mare and flying mare on hidaka for 2. Hidaka gets draped on the top rope and guillotined with a leg drop for michaels for 2. Morgan comes in and applies the Camel Clutch for a bit, before continuing to Ricky Morton Hidaka, with submission holds on the head and back.

Daniels gets tagged in, and sends Hidaka to the ropes, only to get caught with a Tornado DDT. Both men get the tag, and Togo is a House On Fire! Facebuster and Tornado DDT for 2. Togo locks on a Crippler Crossface and Daniels comes in for the save. Hidaka comes in, tosses Daniels out of the ring and hits a springboard senton on to Daniels. Meanwhile, Morgan hits what appears to be a Belly-to-belly Tazplex. Morgan then hits a series of a Vertical suplex – fisherman’s suplex – fisherman’s neckbreaker for 2, with Hidaka breaking it up. Hidaka slams morgan and Togo hits his big senton, makes the cover but gets it broken up by Daniels at 2. Daniels drags Morgan to his corner and tags himself in. Hidaka and Daniels are the legal men. Daniels connects with the Angels wings, but Hidaka kick out. Daniels hits a bodyslam and goes up top and hits the Best. Moonsault. Ever – Daniels covers but gets the pin broken up.

Hidaka goes for a modified tarantula (modified with Daniels neck on the ropes, getting choked). Hidaka goes up and hits a missile dropkick followed by a bridging German suplex for 2. Hidaka hits a sitout powerbomb for 2. Morgan gets togo out of the ring and follows. Daniels hits a STO and Morgan holds down Hidaka’s feet as Daniels gets the pin

Winner: The Prophecy by pinfall with an STO with a side of shenangans at 13:48. They advance to face Dragon and Modest in the final round.
Rating: **** – Very solid tag match, with good psychology.

EDIT: Here’s more of this part of the show!

Our next scheduled match is Dunn and Marcos vs. Prince Nana and Alex Arion. However, Nana isn’t up to wrestling since he got a concussion after his match with Low Ki at Road To The Title. So, instead he’s going to let Arion wrestle a singles match against Dunn, while he watches at ringside with a poorly fitting amateur wrestling helmet on.

Alex Arion vs. Dunn

Arion levels Dunn, getting a series of 2-counts. Dunn tries a little offense but gets quickly shut down. Arion goes up and hits a big splash for the pin.

Winner: Alex Arion by pinfall with a top rope splash at 1:34.
Rating: DUD – Why are we getting a squash match?

After the match, Nana beats down Dunn and Marcos, and then cuts a promo offering Arion a job as his manservant. Arion responds with a super-kick to the head, and storms to the back, leaving Nana alone in the ring. Fortunately, the kind and generous souls of the Christopher Street Connection (along with Japanese Pool Boy and Allison Danger) come out to check on him. They check on his head, after a little difficulty on which head they’re going to check on first. They decide to kiss Nana’s boo-boo to make it all better, which Nana doesn’t take kindly to, and Nana sprints to the back.

Next, in a rather lame parody of the “Gay Marrage” angle that happened around that time on Smackdown with Billy and Chuck, Buff E proposes marrage, but Mace says he isn’t up to that commitment yet, so instead they make out in the ring. Before this segment gets too absurd and runs on too long, we get a run in by Alexis Laree, who the CSC humiliated on a previous show which I haven’t recapped yet. Laree hits a split punch on Buff E (shades of Johnny Cage), causing him to drop to his knees, his head in Mace’s crotch. Mace doesn’t know how to take this – it’s so sudden and so experimental… which is why he doesn’t notice Laree is in the ring until her boots made contact with his face, in the form of a drop kick. Danger beats feet, while Japanese Pool Boy stands up to Laree, slapping her, which is about as intelligent of stomping on Bruce Banner’s toe. Laree gores JPB, followed by a tornado DDT.

We then go to footage from the last show, when Xavier called Low Ki out for a title shot at this show.

ROH Title: Low Ki vs. Xavier

Both men lock up, with some slow chain wrestling between the two. Xavier kicks Low Ki in the chest. Ki gives this “you call that a kick” look, and then kicks the shit out of Xavier. Dueling kicks between Xavier and Ki gets Ki in the corner and Xavier hits a series of big knees, leading to a chop battle between the two.

Ki starts clubberin’ Xavier with a series of big Mongolian chops, followed by a bodyslam and elbow drop. Xaviers gets back to his feet and lays into Low Ki with a series of strikes leading to, well, astrike battle between both in, leading to Ki locking on a Fujiwara armbar, which Xavier reverses into a pin for 2.

Both men part for a breather, while the fans start a chant battle. They lock back up in a test of strength, or a “Greco-roman knuckle-lock” as Jesse Ventura would call it. Ki uses the hold to get a series of kicks to Xavier’s face, to which Xavier responds with a suplex and a side headlock. Lo Ki breaks out, eats a shoulder block, and stops another with a dropkick to the leg, sending Xavier to his knees, spinning opening him up to Ki’s Kick Combo Of Doom ™, which Ki gets 2-count off of.

Xavier manages to take control after some strikes and a botched tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. He hits a Torture-Rack Samoan Drop for 2. Turnbuckle slam and running back drop by Xavier for 2. Xavier locks on a reverse chinlock, which he ultimately releases and follows by a series of strikes, with a high knee for another 2. Xavier goes for the X-breaker, but gets literally kicked out of the ring. Ki works over Xavier on the outside before sending him in. Ki hits a corner clothesline into a bridging vertical suplex for 2. Xavier powerslams Ki into the turnbuckle to regain control.

Xavier hits a double-underhook flying mare with a bridge, which he later turns into a pin for 2. Ki gets sent to the outside, and Xavier goes for a baseball slide, but Ki catches him and gest in some more strikes, and then tosses him back in. Ki goes up top and hits a flying elbow for 2. Snap mare and strikes for 2. If I keep having to write “strikes” I’m going to go on strike.

Series of near falls and submission holds by both men. As this goes on, Christopher Daniels comes out to watch from the entrance way. daniels works of Ki’s leg and goes for a 450 splash but misses. Ki connects with his signature kick combo and signals for the Ki Crusher, but then sees Daniels at ringside, and gets distracted by him, and then rolls out of the ring to confront him. Xavier persues and chop blocks Ki’s knee. Daniels places one of the anchor blocks for the Safety rail (metal pole with a large heavy weight at the end) on Ki’s chest, and Xavier drives it into his chest with a chair, leaving Ki bleeding from the mouth (probably a work, with a blood pack – it looks fake.) Daniels taunts Ki as he crawls back to the ring, and Xavier is taunting the fans, cementing his heel turn and alliance with the Prophecy. Ki finally crawls back to the ring, and gets pinned by Xaviers 450 splash.

Winner: Xavier by pinfall with a 450 splash at 25:43 and he is the new ROH Champion.
Rating: *** – Decent match with a great heel turn.

After the match, The Prophesy drapes a ROH banner over Low K

Before I get too far into the next couple matches, a few thoughts on this heel turn, I’ve been thinking about this when I saw the show, and t his was actually rather nicely foreshadowed, though some of the events we didn’t see on the shows I’ve recapped, but were mentioned in passing by the announcers. Let’s run ‘em down shall we?

1. At Road To The Title, Christopher Daniels was very upset when Xavier failed to eliminate Low Ki from the running.
2. At Crowning a Champion Xavier asked Low Ki for a title shot, should Ki win. Ki accepted.
3. At the show immediately prior, Xavier asked Ki to cash in his title shot, leading to this card’s match.

Rather nicely done, I would say. I’d say it’d even be sufficient to push

Takao Omori vs. Sonny Siaki

Siaki is 1/2 of the Flying Elvis’s in TNA. Omori is 1/2 of the tag team “No Fear” in Pro Wrestling NOAH
Omori attacks immediately, getting control early on. Siaki regains control with a mule kick for 2. Siaki and Omori get some nice chain wrestling in. Omori locks a reverse chin lock on Siaki, and tries to work it into a Camel clutch. Siaki prevents the hold from getting fully applied, so Omori turns it into a leg scissors, which Siaki forces him to break through a pin attempt. Omori continues to dominate the match with a 2-count off a piledriver, leading up to Omori’s finisher, a modified Vertebreaker, and the pin.

Winner: Takeo Omori by pinfall with a Vertebreaker at 7:37.
Rating: *** – Siaki barely got any offense win. It wasn’t quite a Col. DeBeers squash, but it was close.

After the match, CM Punk comes out, making his ROH debut, and cuts a promo putting over ROH, and taking a shot at the WWE, and says his debut match would be on the November 9th show. Colt Cabana comes out as well, and also hypes his appearance at… a show on the 11th, I didn’t catch the month. I’d presume it’s December because it’s not on either November show I have. Finally, we go backstage to Jay, who cuts a promo against his brother, Mark, who had been hassling him for most of the previous shows, and beat Jay at ROH’s Boston show, busting him open. Jay swears never to lose again.

Jay Briscoe vs. Amazing Red

Prior to the match, Mark Briscoe tries to tell Red something he can say to Jay to give him the advantage (presumably his, Mark’s, win-loss record). Red responds with a superkick to Mark that knocks him through a nearby door. Anyway, this match is a rematch of the first booked match in ROH history, and the first booked match I’ve recapped in this thread.

NNice chain offence between Jay and Red. Further chain wrestling moves. The fight goes out to rignside though the offense stays pretty even. Jay goes for a powerslam which is reversed into a reverse DDT for 2. Climbing kick by Red. Jay responds with a lariat that practically decapitates Red. Jay reverses a corner drop kick into a leglock. Red misses a Swanton Bomb and then eats a mule kick for 2. Jay hits a body slame and goes up top, but Red catches him and hits a sunset flip power bomb. Red Star Press for 2. Red tries a standing sunset flip powerbomb , reversed into a jackknife powerbomb by Jay, followed by a second powerbomb and a Jay Driller for the pin.

Winner: Jay Briscoe by pinfall with the Jay Driller at 7:48.
Rating: **** – Jay’s really starting to get over, and this match is helping. Now, frankly, I probably wouldn’t have given this match the fourth star were it not for Jay’s promo right before it (see my last recap). However, that promo helped a lot towards building up this match. It helped that that promo reminded me a lot of some of Tommy Dreamer’s promos from his feud with Raven, back in the day.

After the match, Dixie & Elax of Special K run in and attack Red, with SAT running in for the save. Apparently, Special K’s gimmick is that they’re stoners. After they get beat down, some big black guy from the audience in a suit and sunglasses comes in and pounds the crap out of the Ref before returning to the audience to watch the rest of the show. And now, for the moment we were all waiting for…

Street Fight: Michael Shane vs. Paul London

Shane and London waste no time laying into each other with some incredibly fast offense. After working each other over in the ring, they move to ringside and then back in again. I’m not even going to try move-by-move, instead stickign to the high spots and near falls, with some contextual stuff.

London ships Shane out of the ring, but Shane grabs the top rope and tries to skin the cat, only to get speared when he’s halfway through the motion. I wonder why nobody did that with his cousin, HBK? Shane whips London into the guard rail so hard it knocks down a hole side of the guard rail. London gets a steel chair, but ends up being too busy showing off his shiny chair to the fans that he ends up eating it after gaking a suicide senton from Shane, busting London open. London then gets the chair thrown into his face by Shane after they get back into the ring, but Shane only gets a 2-count. 2-count after Shane suplexes London on the chair. Shane wedges a chair int he ropes, and goes to thrown Paul into the chair only to end up eating it himself, as London I guess feels that, as it is Twin Day, they should both be sporting crimson masks. Shane gets out a ladder but ends up eating that with a spring board kick by London. London sets up the ladder in the corner, but Shane slams him on it with a belly-to-belly suplex on the ladder. Is anyone else noticing a pattern here?

Carrying on with the pattern, London ‘rana’s Shane off the apron through a table which Shane had generously prepared earlier in the match. London searches under the ring and what does he find, but a Jeff Hardy Ladder ™. You know the kind, the ladder that you find at Home Depot with “You Must Be Fucking Kidding” on the height listing. London sets that one up in the corner and finally breaks the vicious (literally) cycle by back dropping Shane on it. Unfortunately, this bends the ladder out of shape, and I don’t think that they have the budget in ROH for a second Jeff Hardy Ladder to put under the ring, so I guess they won’t be using this one anymore.

Shane rolls to the outside and starts partway to the entrance curtain, only to have London run up the ladder and do a Suicide Plancha on Shane, leading to our first scatological chant of the evening. Both men come back in the ring, and London hits a seated leapfrog senton over the set up standard ladder… reversed into a Sit-out powerbomb by Shane for 2! Shane goes up top and hits the Picture Perfect Elbow for 2! London goes up and hits the London Calling (Shooting Star Press) for 2!

London sets up the battered Jeff Hardy ladder and starts to climb, to chants of “You Sick Fuck” Shane knocks him off and starts to climb on his own to the top of the ladder… Picture Perfect Elbow Of Doom! 1… 2… Kick out! Shane starts to go back up, but London stops him with a moonsault. London starts to climb the ladder again, now to a chant making it’s debut here in ROH – “Please Don’t Die!” London reaches the top of the ladder… London Calling! 1… 2… 3!!!!!

Finish: Paul London by pinfall after a London Calling off the top of a 15 foot ladder at 20:38.
Rating: ***** – Holy. Fucking. Shit. If you thought he was good in WWE, you ain’t seen nothing yet. The fans who were there were chanting “Match of the year” for a reason… a good one.

After the match both men embraces in the ring before Shane wastes London with a Lariat. We then get some brief video from before the event, with Donovan Morgan asking Mike Modest, his mentor, to join the Prophesy, and being rebuffed.

Final Match for the ROH Tag Team Championships: The Prophesy (Daniels & Morgan) vs. American Dragon and Mike Modest

Daniels and Morgan start. Nice chain wrestling between the two. Morgan gets tagged in and starts to work on modest, leading to further chain wrestling. Modest and Morgan start to do the Puro Shoulder Block Spot, but after the 2nd block Modest just floors Morgan instead. Dragon gets tagged in and starts wearing down Morgan with submission holds. Morgan gets the tag to Daniels, and Dragon finds himself being Ricky Mortoned by the Prophesy, primarily the leg.

The Prophecy beats Dragon over inside and outside of the ring, with Dragon finally getting the tag after a neck-wringer suplex. Modest leg scissors and diving headbutts Morgan (the other legal man) for 2. We get all 4 men in the ring. Morgan takes Modest to the outside, and Daniels gets both with a backflip clothesline. Dragon hits a tope suicida on Daniels and it appears he may have injured his knee.

Modest and Daniels are in the ring. Belly-to-belly Tazplex followed by a Bridging Fishermans Buster for 2. Morgan and Daniels gets tagged in and then gets a proper Tazmission Plex by Dragon, leading into the Cattle Mutilation that is broken up by Daniels. Dragon sets up Morgan up on the top ropes for something, only to have it reversed into a sit-otu superbomb, followed by the Best Moonsault Ever. Morgan covers for 2, and Daniels gets tagged in, and hits a Blue Thunder Driver for 2. We get all 4 men in the ring for a bit, until Morgan and Modest take it outside, and Daniels and Dragon keep it in the ring. Dragon sets Daniels up on the top rope for a belly-to-back superplex, but Morgan grabs Dragon’s ankle so he can reverse it into… something I can’t recognize for 2. Daniels picks up dragon and then and connects with the Last Rites for 3.

Winner: The Prophesy wins by pinfall with the Last Rites at 14:33 and are the new ROH Tag Team Champions – The Prophesy holds all the belts.
Rating: *** – Good match, but a few blown spots and well, that last match wore me out.

After the match, the Prophesy is awarded their trophy (ROH isn’t using Tag Belts yet). Dragon and Modest aren’t happy, and smash the trophy in the ring with a steel chari.

After the show, the Prophesy celebrates, plan to get the trophy fixed… but theres no rush because at the next show, none of the belts will be on the line – because the prophecy will be flexing their muscles. Also, they want to have Xavier take on some rube in the ring, in a non-title match. Mark happens to over here this, and suggests his brother Jay. Daniels excepts and we have a match. Also, Dick Togo and Doug Williams will wrestle each other, to see who gets to wrestle Daniels. You know, that’s a plan that sounds positively cunning. So cunning, that you could pin a tail on it and call it a weasel…

Overall: **** – Very good card, definitely worth picking up… though that might be all those Wrestlemania’s talking.

Wrestlemania VII

The Time: March 24th, 1991
The Place: The Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena
The Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, to be joined by Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, a couple of guest commentators.
The Champions:

• WWF Heavyweight Champion: Sgt. Slaughter (heel)
• WWF Tag Team Champions: The Hart Foundation (Bret “Hitman” Hart & Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart) (faces)
• WWF Intercontinetal Champion: “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig (heel)
• WWF Womens Championship: Inactive

Being that Wrestlemania is stateside again, we start off the show with a performance of “America The Beautiful,” this time by Willie Nelson. Jesse Ventura split ties for the WWF between the last Wrestlemania and this one, leading to Monsoon going with a series of Guest Commentators over the evening – sort of, we do get one color guy for most of the show, but we have a few guests pop in, like our first match of the evening – with “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan on commentary.

[The Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty) vs The Barbarian & Haku w/ Bobby "The Brain" Heenan

Shawn and Haku start out and circle up, with Haku taking control early on with some strikes., Shawn regains control with a flying shoulder block and works Haku over a bit before tagging in Marty. The Rockers double hip toss Haku, who manages to make the tag. Barbarian comes in with a double lariat, only to get nailed with a double super kick by the Rockers.

Heenan’s team moves outside to regroup, briefly, before returning to the ring. Barbarian tries to cast Marty as the Ricky Morton, finally going for a powerbomb, only to have Shawn hit a standing drop kick to the back, giving Marty the momentum he needs to get a hurricanrana on Barbarian for a 2-count.

Barbarian makes the tag to Haku, and works Marty over again, guillotining him on the top rope. Haku hits a pair of backbreakers on Marty and tags in the Barbarian, who gets a 2-count. Marty goes for a flying shoulder block but Barbarian reverses it to a power slam. Barbarian goes up top for a splash, but Marty rolls out of the way.

Haku and Shawn get the tags, and Shawn comes in like a House! En! Fuego! Shawn gets some mounted turnbuckle punches in on Haku before hitting a crossbody on Barbarian. Neckbreaker on Haku for 2. Jannetty comes in as does Barbarian, with all 4 men in the ring. Barbarian is thrown out, with Marty hitting a missile dropkick and Shawn a cross-body for the pin.

Winner: The Rockers by pinfall with a flying cross-body at 10:33.
Rating: *** – Nice opening match.

Duggan leaves the announce table to make room for Heenan. Meanwhile we go backstage to an Okerlund interview with our celebrity guests of the evening – Regis Philbin, Martha Maples, and Alec Trebek.

Dino Bravo w/ “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart vs. “The Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich

This is Kerry Von Erich’s Wrestlemania debut.

Dino, like usual, jumps Kerry before the bell, hell, before Kerry can take his robe off. They brawl in and out of the wring, with Kerry retaining control with an Atomic Drop. Kerry betas Dino around the ring for a bit, before Dino regains control with a reversed Irish Whip. Dino gets a 2-count off a knee drop.

Dino hits his finisher, a Sidewalk Slam (which Gorilla calls a “Side Suplex”) and covers for 2. Dino continues working over Kerry, going to the 2nd rope and going for an standing elbow, only to have it reversed into the Von Erich Iron Claw ™ followed shortly thereafter by the Flying Tornado (running discus punch) for the pin.

Winner: Kerry Von Erich by pinfall with the Flying Tornado at 3:11.
Rating: * – I know a squash when I see one, and I’m looking at one right now. Dino, you’ve just been berried!

We now go to Sean Mooney, who is backstage with the Warlord and his manager, Slick who cut a promo on “The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith (Dynamite left the WWF due to his multiple injuries). We then go to Okerlund, who is with Davey Boy, who has a promo of his own.

“The British Bulldog” Davey Boy Smith vs. Warlord w/ Slick

Warlord and Bulldog lock up and then break off. Warlord gets leveled with a series of running shoulder blocks. Warlord rolls out of the ring to regroup, then comes back in and regains control after reversing a crucifix. Smith gets worked over for a bit, before breaking out of a bear hug. Warlord reverses a Lou Thesz press into a Stun Gun for 2.

Both men exchange blows, with Warlord regaining control with a reverse gutwrench slam. Warlord locks on a chin lock! My God, we have wrestling holds! Smith breaks out, drop kicks Warlord into the corner, and starts slamming his head into the top turnbuckle and all is right with the world. Bulldog hits a 2nd rope double axe handle and a flying crossbody for 1. Bulldog goes for a piledriver, which is reversed into a back drop, into a sunset flip, into a pin, and into another pin for a 2-count by Smith. What’s chain wrestling doing here?

Warlord regains control by reversing a corner splash, and manages to lock in a full nelson, his finisher, but he fails to interlace his fingers, so Smith can lock out and hit the Running Powerslam for the pin.

Winner: Davey Boy Smith by pinfall with the Running Powerslam at 8:15.
Rating: **** – Holy shit, we got a good match with the Warlord. A very underrated match.

After the match, we go to Okerlund with Jimmy Hart and the Nasty Boys, who cut a promo on the Hart Foundation, before using Gene’s handkerchief without permission.

WWF Tag Team Championship – The Nasty Boys (Jerry Sags & Brian Knobbs) w/ Jimmy Hart vs. The Hart Foundation (Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart and Bret “Hitman” Hart) (c)

This is the Wrestlemania debut of the Nasty Boys. This match could be interesting. The Nasty Boys can’t particularly wrestle particularly well, but they brawl like nobody’s business. The Hart Foundation can do both. Bret and Sags start. The Nasty boys gain control early on, with Bret auditioning for Ricky Morton before Bret takes out Sags and sending Knobbs to the outside. Bret dominates for a bit, before Sags manages to tag in Knobbs.

Knobbs wants to fight Jim, so Bret tags him in. Both men trade blows before Jim sends Knobbs to the outside. Anvil starts working over Knobbs arm, but Knobbs manages to tag in Sags, and Jim briefly finds himself playing the role of Ricky Morton. Jim decides that the role isn’t a fit and that Bret is far better at it than he, and makes the tag. Bret gets some offense in, including turnbuckle punches, before Knobbs gets tagged in.

Knobbs gets in his blows, before tagging in Sags, who locks on a seated chinlock. Bret manages to break out, only to get shut down and then (after a tag) getting the same hold locked on him by Knobbs. The Nasty boys continue working over Bret, getting a 2-count off an elbow drop. Bret gets caught in the hold again, but Bret manages to get out with some sort of slam, only to have The Nasties shut him down before he can make the tag. This goes on for a bit, before Bret finally manages to tag in Jim. Jim comes in and cleans house, with Jim and Knobbs fighting within the ring, Bret and James without. Jim sends Knobbs for the ride, and Bret sends Sags in for the collision. The Hart foundation goes for the Hart attack, but the ref is too busy chewing out Bret to count the pin, so Knobbs can break up the pin with Jimmy Hart’s motorcycle helmet and roll Sags on top for 3.

Winner: The Nasty Boys through Shenanigans at 12:08 and are the new WWF Tag Team Champions.
Rating: *** – It goes to show that the Hart Foundation can get a decent match out of almost anyone.

We ghen get a recap of the feud between “The Model” Rick Martel and Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Apparently Martel blinded Jake when he sprayed perfume in his eyes, after Jake stopped Martel from spraying perfume on Damien. I am not making this up. Jake has since recovered his vision, and is facing Rick in a blindfold match.

Blindfold Match – Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs. “The Model” Rick Martel

This is the kind of match that nobody does for a while, and then somebody digs it out because they wonder why, and then everyone remembers why because the match pretty much sucks. Yeah, my expectations are low. Jake and Martel circle the ring trying to find each other. They manage to grapple for a bit, before Martel sends Jake for the ride and goes for a back drop, only to have Jake kind of trot around him. The guys grope their way around the ring, trying to find the other party. Martel manages to slam Jake, but Jake gets up before Martel can drop an elbow. Jake, thinking quickly, claps his hands to lure Martel over to one side of the ring, then circles around the ring to (hopefully) attack Martel from behind. Fortunately, Martel being evil, and in wrestling, evil meaning dumb, this plan works.

At this point I notice a hidden highlight by Jake. Jake uses what I could best describe as radar. Jake, points his arm, moving it across the ring in an arc. When Jake points at the heel, the crowd pops, meaning he knows in what way to attack. Clever. Jake ends up being sent to the outside, and Martel follows. Jake goes a quarter of the way around the ring, and then rolls back in, while Martel grabs a chair and tries to probe for Jake. Martel takes a swing at a ring post, and hurts his fingers. Jake hears Martel’s cursing, and drags Martel into the ring. Martel hits a back breaker and applies a Boston crab. Jake breaks out, sending Martel into the ring post shoulder first. Jake finds him quickly, and hits the DDT for the pin.

Winner: Jake “The Snake” Roberts by pinfall at 8:34.
Rating: *** – Actually halfway decent, but I’m getting the vibe that this is the exception, and not the rule.

Meanwhile, Jimmy Hart’s stable is celebrating backstage. They should celebrate, as they haven’t particularly won a major win in about 3-4 Wrestlemanias.

“Superfly” Jimmy Snucka vs. The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer

This is the Wrestlemania debut of The Undertaker. Snuka has appeared to have grown a beard in the year since his last appearance.

Taker stares down Snuka before pounding the shit out of the guy. Snucka sells this like, well, death. ‘Taker gets some good offense in, including my first appearance of his leaping Lariat (which still looks impressive today), and a vertical suplex from the apron to the inside. Finally, Snuka goes for a springboard crossbody, only to get caught and Tombstoned.

Winner: The Undertaker (as if there was any doubt) by pinfall with the Tombstone Piledriver at 4:15.
Rating: * – Is it anti-climactic if it’s the start of the winning streak. By the way, who the hell did Snuka piss off backstage to become Jobber To The Stars? Jimmy, I love you like a brother, but you might want to consider heading to the indy circuit now, because any hopes you have of getting back to the Main event (or even the upper midcard) can Rest! In! Peace!

After the match, we get a recap of the “Macho King” Randy Savage vs. Ultimate Warrior feud. The feud, unlike the Martel/Roberts feud, actually is pretty standard – Warrior didn’t give Savage a title shot, so Savage cost Warrior the title to Slaughter at the Royal Rumble.

Loser Must Retire – “Macho King” Randy Savage w/ Sensational Queen Sherri vs. The Ultimate Warrior

As Save and Sherry come out to the ring, we see that The Lovely Elizabeth has a ringside seat along the entrance aisle. This probably isn’t going to come up later. The Warrior, on the other hand, walks out to the ring, unlike his usual sprint.

Both men lock up and Savage forces warrior to the ropes, and Warrior shoves Savage halfway across the ring. Both men trade strikes, with Warrior ultimately landing a series of big atomic drops to gain control. Savage regains control with a big Laria, and goes up for a cross body, but gets caught. Warrior gently sets Savage down, and slaps him across the face. You got bitch-slapped! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)

Savage gets beaten from pillar to post before Savage finally gets Warrior outside the ring, where Sherri can distract Warrior, so Savage can connect with his flying double-axe handle, repeatedly. Savage beats Warrior outside the ring, and then sends him in for a 2 count off a body slam. Warrior lands a few moves before going for the Warrior Splash and missing . Savage locks on a reverse chin lock, but Warrior powers out and both men end up lariating each other. Warrior rolls up savage, but the ref is distracted. Savage sends Warrior to the ropes, who collides with the ref, giving us our first ref bump of the night. Savage holds Warrior so Sherri can go up top with her shoe, for a flying shoe strike, only for Warrior to evade so Savage gets struck. Warrior goes after Sherri, but Savage rolls up Warrior for 2. Savage continues to work over Warrior. Savage goes up again for a series of 5 flying elbow drops before going for the pin, and only getting a 2-count.

Warrior Summons The Power Of The Warriors, hits a series of lariats, and goes for the press slam and splash for 2. This concerns the Warrior, ’cause that’s usually all he wrote (though he normally can’t write much more than that), and it doesn’t help that his distraction allows Savage to attack him from behind. Warrior regains control and running shoulder-blocks Savage out of the ring a few times before going for the cocky pin and getting the win.

Winner: The Ultimate Warrior by pinfall with a series of running shoulder blocks at 20:48.
Rating: ** – Very, very meh.

After the match, Sherri turns on Savage, smacks him around for a bit, before Elizabeth runs in for the save. Savage and Elizabeth have a tearful reunion, before leaving the ring together, with Savage now a face once again.

We then go backstage to our intermission time-killing interviews, first with Regis Philbin and The Undertaker and Paul Bearer, then Trebek with Demolition which are once again heels, and once again working with Mr. Fuji.. They cut a promo on their opponents in the next match, Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitano. We then go to Regis who tries to interview Tenryu and Kitano. Finally we go to Trebek with Roberts, before we finish killing time and are ready for the next match.

Demolition (Axe & Smash) w/ Mr. Fuji vs. Genichiro Tenryu and Koji Kitano

Smash and Kitano start, with Kitano soon finding himself the Ricky Morton. That’s right, it’s the early 90’s and the Japanese wrestlers aren’t heels on the sole basis of “Ther Stealin’ Ar Jarbs!” Mind, this doesn’t stop Heenan from slipping a few slightly racist remarks (like Tenryu leaking soy sauce when whipped into the turnbuckles). After Axe and Smash make a few tags, Kitano decapitates Axe with a lariat, and then makes the tag to Tenryu. Tenryu comes in and well, demolishes Demolition, before going for a flying back elbow that misses, allowing Demolition to regain control. Demolition sets up Tenryu for the Demolition Decapitation, but Kitano has it scouted and makes the save, ultimately sending Smash off the top rope to the outside. Tenryu finishes Axe off with a powerbomb for the pin.

Winner: Tenryu and Kitano by pinfall with a powerbomb at 4:42.
Rating: * – Wow, our 3rd burial of the night.

Heenan excuses himself from the announce table for his backstage interview for the next match. We then go to Okerlund who is with Big Boss Man, who is challenging Mr. Perfect for the IC Title this evening. After that interview, we go to Mooney, who is with Perfect and Heenan. Heenan, basically, says that Mr. Perfect would beat Big Boss Man like the LAPD beat Rodney King. I’m not making this up.

WWF Intercontinental Title – Big Boss Man vs. “Mr. Perfect” Curt Henning w/ Bobby Heenan

For this match, Gorilla is joined on commentary by Lord Alfred Hayes.

After the bell, Henning tosses his towel at Bossman, who wipes his ass on it and throws it in Curt’s face, followed by spitting in Curt’s face. Classy. Henning slaps Bossman and then rolls to the outside, with Bossman in pursuit. Curt and Bossman brawl outside the ring and inside the ring, Bossman gains control after hitting a bronco buster between the turnbuckles. Bossman takes off his belt and starts whipping henning with it. Surprisingly, the ref only confiscates the belt, rather then DQing Bossman. However, he only tosses it in the corner, so Curt retrieves it and wraps it around his fist in a sort of impromptu set of knucks, and starts punching Bossman with that. Again, the ref doesn’t go for the DQ. Curt locks on an abdominal stretch, and continues working BBM over until a Perfect-plex gets reversed into a small package by Bossman for 2.

Henning regains control quickly though. He goes for a fist drop, but Bossman gets a boot up. Bossman goes after Heenan but ends up eating ring steps. Heenan puts the boots to Bossman, only to have Andre The Giant come out for the save. Andre clocks Hennig with the IC belt when the ref’s back is turn, but when Bossman goes for the cover, The Barbarian and Haku run in for the save, forcing the DQ.

Winner: Big Boss Man by DQ at 10:46 – Hennig retains the title.
Rating: ** – Not a great match, but the poor finish didn’t help things.

Earthquake w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Greg “The Hammer” Valentine

Heenan has rejoined Monsoon on commentary, and Hayes has returned to the back. Apparently Valentine is no longer part of Rhythm and Blues. Greg and quake lock up, with ‘Quake taking control early. Hammer takes control with a series of chops, and again with a scouted back drop. Greg hits a series of strikes which fails to take down ‘Quake. He finally brings him down with a 2nd rope elbow. Running elbow drop and headbutt to the abdomen by Greg. Valentine goes for the figure four but gets distracted by Hart, allowing Earthquake to regain control, hit the Earthquake Splash and get the win.

Winner: Earthquake with the Earthquake Splash at 3:27.
Rating: * – Apparently Greg isn’t doing so hot backstage either.

After the match we go backstage to Sean Mooney for an interview with the Legion of Doom.

Power and Glory (Tony Roma and Hercules) w/ Slick vs. The Legion of Doom (Hawk and Animal)

This is the Wrestlemania Debut of the LoD and of Tony Roma. Power and Glory jump the LOD before the bell, only to be shut down hard. They hit the Doomsday Device on Roma and it’s over.

Winner: The Legion of Doom by pinfall with a Doomsday Device at :58.
Rating: Dud – Herc, Roma, please speak with ‘Taker and Bearer after the show to get your measurements for your fitting, ’cause you just got buried.

We then get a recap video for the feud between Virgil and Ted DiBiase. In short, Virgil got sick of being bossed around and wanted to be his own man, and turned on DiBiase, taking Piper on as his manager.

“The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil w/ “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

Piper enters solo, before his client. Apparently he broke his leg before the show in a motorcycle accident. Virgil and DiBiase circle upand Virgil takes control early on with a series of lightning fast strikes. DiBiase rolls out to regroup, only to get shut down again as soon as he rolls back in. Once again DiBiase regroups, only to get clotheslined to the outside as soon as he comes in. Virgil goes out to throw DiBiase back in the ring, only to get attacked by Ted as he tried to get back in. DiBiase’s lead is only temporary as Virgil regains control as soon as he regains a vertical base. DiBiase manages to get control briefly with a piledriver for a 2-count, a vertical suplex for another 2, and a no-count off a gutwrench suplex.

Meanwhile, Heenan is basically saying that Virgil’s place as DiBiase’s manservant, and he all but accuses Virgil of being “uppity.” Bobby, is there anything you’d like to get off your chest. Anyway, DiBiase sends Virgil to the outside, tosses him bck in, and then starts scrapping with Piper, and gets counted out.

Winner: Virgil by count-out at 7:37
Rating: *** – A decent match.

After the match, Sherri comes in to help DiBiase, Piper’s leg gets worked over and ultimately he has to get helped to the back.

We then get a video package of the Hogan/Slaughter feud. In short – Slaughter supported Saddam in the first Iraq war, turning into perhaps the most over-the-top scenery chewing villain you can get in pro wrestling without kicking puppies or literally stealing candy from children in the front row, all but saying “Evil, be thou my good”, if only because the stereotypical wrestling fan of the time wouldn’t know what “Thou” means. We then get an Okerlund interview with Slaughter and his manager, Gen. Adnan

The Mountie w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Tito Santana

This is the Wrestlemania debut of Jacques Rougeau as The Mountie. Tito and Mountie lock up, with Tito taking control early on, only to get zapped by Mountie’s Taser when the ref’s back is turned, allowing him to get the pin.

Winner: The Mountie by pinfall through the employment of a Foreign Object at 1:21.
Rating: Dud – Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

We go back to Okerlund for his interview with Hogan.

WWF Heavyweight Title – Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter w/ Gen. Adnan

Hogan peruses Slaughter around the ring, before Slaughter gets in the ring and we get this match started. Slaughter and Hogan circle up and lock up. Both men are power wrestlers and brawlers, so I’m expecting a lot of strikes. Hogan shoulder blocks Slaughter clear across the ring. Slaughter hits hogan with a steel hair, but Hogan’s already starting to hulk up a little, but slaughter stops it with a thumb to the eye.

Slaughter works Hogan over for a while until Slaughter misses an elbow allowing Hogan to take control 2-count off an atomic drop. Hogan beats Slaughter from pillar to post. This match has basically become a pier-six brawl. 2-count after a mounted 10 punches by Hogan. Slaughter regains control after Adnan blocks Hogan from going up top. Hogan gets beaten on the outside by Slaughter. Slaughter locks on a Boston crab, but Hogan reaches the ropes.

Slaughter goes up top and hits a flying stomp. Slaughter locks on the camel clutch but Hogan powers out, hulks up, hits the Three Moves Of Doom (Punches, Yakuza/Big Boot kick, and Hogan Leg Drop) for the pin.

Winner: Hulk Hogan by pinfall with the Hogan leg drop at 20:15 and is the new WWF Heavyweight champion.
Rating: ** – Meh. Hogan vs. Warrior was better.

Overall Rating: *** – There are some pretty good matches on there, but still overall there isn’t much better than good.

Wrestlemania VI

Location: The Skydome in Toronto, Ontario
Date: April 1, 1990.
Commentary: Gorilla Monsoon & Jesse Ventura

Oh, my God, Jesse’s clean shaven! We go to the ring for the Canadian National Anthem, sung by Robert Goulet, and we’ve brought back the carts for this event too.

Koko B. Ware vs. “The Model” Rick Martel

Martel blitzes Koko at the bell and forces him into the corner. Martel dominates him for a but, before Koko gets whipped into the corner and hits a springboard cross body for 2, followed by sa series of standing drop kicks and a back drop. I’ve just noticed that Koko’s gotten noticeably bigger since Wrestlemania III. Some of that is muscle, but some of that also appears to be flab.

After Martel kicks out, Koko lets him get to his feet before giving him a Lariat that knocks him out of the ring. Koko lets Martel get back in before going for a series of running shoulder blocks, hitting the first, but the second is reversed Martel, who throws him out of the ring. Martel taunts Koko for a bit, before going out, working over Koko a bit, then rolling back and waiting for him to come in.

Martel dominates Koko some more. Body slam for 2. Martel continues working over Koko. Kidneybreaker by Martel, leading in to an at tempt for the Boston Crab. Koko tries to bridge the move and manages to work his way to the ropes. Koko gets back to his feet, and Martel tries a series of head smashes into the turnbuckle, but Koko turns the tables on him. Koko hits a series of running headbutts, connecting with 2 before Martel Flair-flops before the 3rd, for a 2 count. Koko then gets whipped to the corner by Martel, and goes for the springboard cross-body again, but this time Martel sees it coming and ducks.

As an aside, have you ever noticed that almost no one ever capitalizes on Naich’s Flair-flops?Anyway, Martel taunts for a bit before going for the Boston Crab again and locks it on, and Koko B. Ware submits (with, I might add, the first submission win at a Wrestlemania since Wrestlemania I).

Winner: “The Model” Rick Martel by submission with the Boston Crab at 5:31.
Rating: ** – Not great – both men have done better in the past.

We then go backstage to Gene Okerlund for an interview with the World Tag Team Champions – The Colossal Connection (Haku and Andre The Giant), and their manager, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan. In an amusing “Freudian” slip, Gene mis-names them as the Colostomy Connection. . Heenan, being a sport, rolls with it and makes it a running metaphor for his promo. We then go to Demolition for their promo response with Sean Mooney

WWF World Tag Team Championship – The Colossal Connection (Andre The Giant & Haku – w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) © vs. Demolition (Axe & Smash)

The Colossi force Demolition out of the ring early, before it gets narrowed down to Smash and Haku. Smash regains control, and then works over Haku, before tagging in Axe who continues the offense. I’m going to use this moment (while Haku finds himself Heel in Peril) to coin a new wrestling trope – “The Demolition Effect.” When a Heel Team finds its members becoming the Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson (if not shut down entirely), rather then generally dominating as you would expect with standard tag match psychology, then they’ve found themselves on the receiving end of the Demolition Effect.

Meanwhile, Haku tried to regain control with a thumb to the eye, got it reversed into a backslide by Smash, and is now trying to reverse that into a Backslide of his own. Smash finally pulls of his backslide, but Andre breaks up the pin. Axe gets tagged in and continues the offense, before Haku finally shuts him down with a chop to the throat. Haku hits a back breaker on Axe and gets a 2-count. The Colossal Connection appears to have finally overcome the Demolition Effect. Andre headbutts Axe a bit while the Ref’s back is turned, and Haku gets the cover, but the distracted ref backfires, and by the time he starts counting, Axe manages to kick out at 2. Axe finds himself being the Ricky Morton, a Wrestlemania first for Demolition.

Haku works over Axe for several more minutes before hitting a shoulder breaker for 2. Haku whips Axe in the corner, goes for the corner splash, but Axe gets the boot up and hits a big Lariat out of the corner. Axe finally makes the Tag to Smash, and Robert Gibson Smash is a Casa! En! Fuego! Demolition double-teams Andre and then Haku. Andre locks a full nelson on Smash to allow Haku to land a super-kick, but Smash drops down, causing Andre to get hit and get tied up in the ropes. Demolition hits a double-Stun Gun on Haku, and then goes for the Demolition Decapitation for 3.

Winner: Demolition by pinfall with the Demolition Decapitation at 9:30 and are the new WWF World Tag Team Champions.
Rating: *** – Decent match, decent psychology, and for that matter, I like that they finally had someone overcome the Demolition Effect for once.

After the match Heenan chews out Andre. Heenan slaps Andre, and Andre grabs Heenan by the collar, which pisses Andre, and Andre slaps the spit off of Heenan, before kicking him out of the ring. Would this be the wrestling equivalent of “You Can’t Fire Me, I Quit”? Haku goes for super kick on Andre, only for Andre to catch it and work over Haku. I take it Andre is a face now.

We then go backstage for an Okerlund interview with “Earthquake” John Tenta (making his Wrestlemania debut) and his manager, Jimmy Hart. Tenta cuts a promo on Hercules. Apparently Tenta is the only natural disaster in the WWF.

Hercules vs. Earthquake (w/ “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart)

Quake tries to blindside Herc, but Herc gets out of the way and gets some quick offense in. Apparently Quake’s lip has been bust open. They go for the test of strength, and apparently Herc is on the losing end. Quake takes control, and slowly deliberately works over Herc. The blood on Quake’s lip is a little more noticeable now.

Herc and Quake do the Puro Running Shoulder Block Spot. Basically, one man, Earthquake in this case, stands in the center of the ring while the other man, Herc, does a series of Running Shoulder Blocks against the center-man until either the center-man levels the running-man, or the running-man finally knocks the center-man on his keester. It’s kind of taken from sumo wrestling – not the bouncing off the ropes doing shoulder-blocks part, but rather the principal of the center-man being the immovable object, to a certain extent – fitting because Tenta, according to his Wikipedia bio, was a legitimate sumo-wrestler before he came to the WWF (he quit sumo wrestling because of the toll the ring surface was causing to his body, as well as a reluctance to have his tattoo removed). Tenta also probably picked up the spot in his time in AJPW.

Herc finally knocks Quake down to 1 knee after a series of lariats, and goes for a backbreaker, but Quake shuts him down. Quake drops an elbow on Herc, then hits the Earthquake Splash (seated senton) for the win.

Winner: Earthquake by pinfall with the Earthquake Splash at 4:51.
Rating: ** – Not a bad match, and the Puroresu spot was a nice touch, though American wrestling fans probably wouldn’t have picked up on it at the time.

After the match Earthquake hits the Aftershock (another Earthquake Splash after the match is over). We then go to an Rona Barrett interview with The Lovely Elizabeth, who has basically been fired by Randy Savage, and has taken on as her new client “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. By the way, this is Da Dweem’s Wrestlemania Debut. Meanwhile, Sean Mooney is interviewing Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, who is facing “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig this evening.

“Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig w/ “The Genius” Larry Poffo vs. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake

This is the Wrestlemania debut of Randy Savage’s brother Larry. Anyway, I hope that Curt can get a good match out or Brutus. I happened to notice (since the wolf-whistling of some people in the audience alerted me) that Brutus has changed his tights design to one that drops the fishnets and has a mesh material (or something like that, something slightly translucent, but tinted pink) going from the back of the leg up to the thigh – an ominous foreshadowing of the Booty Man gimmick that Beefcake would get when he jumped ship to WCW. Also, coming in, Henning is undefeated.

Hennig goes for a sneak attack on Bruti, but Beefcake has it scouted, and they start brawling, before Brutus gains control, first forcing Curt out of the ring, and then when he comes back in, after some punches hitting an atomic drop that sends Curt flying out of the ring. While The Genius and Curt regroups, Brutus styles and profiles struts and cuts in the ring. Curt finally regains control with a little bit off offense, before Brutus regains control with a very, very hard whip in the corner. I’m starting to think that Curt might be over-selling it more than a little.

Brutus goes to put Curt away, but The Genius rolls a critical success on his distract roll, distracting both the ref and Brutus, dropping his metallic scroll-thingie, which Curt uses to clock Brutus while the Ref’s back is still turned. However, Curt fails to capitalize with a pin attempt. Instead Curt works over Brutus a bit first, so when Curt goes for a pin after a neck snapper he gets a 2-count.

(The crowd is flipping off Mr. Perfect)
Gorilla: Thumbs down from this capacity crowd.
Me: Those fingers are up, Monsoon, and they’re not thumbs.

Curt regains control and starts working over Brutus. Brutus regains control with a double-leg takedown, and then a slingshot into the turnbuckle, which knocks out Perfect and allows Beefcake to get the pin, and the win.

Winner: Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake by pinfall after a slingshot into the corner at 7:47.
Rating: ** – Not a good match. Not terrible, but not good. If they’d given Curt a little more offense (particularly technical offense) then this might have qualified for a “***” but no higher.

After the match Brutus puts a sleeper on The Genius and then trims his hair, before a video package for the “Rowdy” Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown feud. The feud, basically, started when Piper eliminated Brown from the Royal Rumble, and Brown drug Piper over the top from the outside of the ring, eliminating Piper. Piper didn’t take kindly to this, nor when Brown later advised Piper to shave his legs because he didn’t look good in a “skirt”. Furthermore, Brown also played the race card, accusing Piper of being racist for reasons they don’t go into in the video package. We then go to an Okerlund Interview with Piper, who has the right half of his body painted black, though Piper plays it up like he’s got two personalities, Hot Rod or The Hot Scot (ala Two-Face, but without the acid). Something tells me the face-painting bit would not work out today.

Bad News Brown vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper

The two start out scrapping early on. Piper gets a high cross body for 2. They continue engaging in what is basically becoming a Pier 6 Brawl. Brown gets a series of near-falls off of chokes and elbow and fist drops. Piper produces a glove from his tights, puts it on and starts punching Brown with it on. Both men take the fight out of the ring, leading to both men getting counted out.

Winner: No Contest by double count-out at 5:45.
Rating: Dud – This was a match that needed to be a hardcore match or some variation thereof. Pier Six Brawl grudge matches don’t work well when the stipulations are such that both men can get counted out.

After the match Piper and Brown brawl to the back. Meanwhile, in the Locker Room, Steve Allen provides Piano accompaniment for Nikolai Volkoff and Boris Zhukov while they rehearse the Russian National Anthem. Allen, however, starts out with I Get A Kick Out Of You, working into Pop Goes The Weasel, and Chopsticks (with appropriate lyrical adjustments to reflect the scenario).

The Hart Foundation (Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart & Bret “The Hitman” Hart) vs. The Bolsheviks (Nikolai Volkoff & Boris Zhukov)

Bret and Jim finally have gotten the Black & Pink Tights that we’ve come to associate with The Hart Foundation (and particularly The Hitman), except for the absence of the wings-heart-and-skull logo that would later become associated with Bret. We also get the first Wrestlemania occurrence (that I’ve observed) of Bret giving his ski-goggles to a fan at ringside. Yes, I know they’re sunglasses but they look like ski-goggles.

The Hart Foundation blind-sides the Bolsheviks during their singing of the Russian National Anthem. They beat Volkoff out of the ring, land the Hart Attack (Jim locks the victim in a bear hug and raises his head and shoulders up so they’re above his. Bret then bounces off the ropes a few times to build up momentum, before hitting a LARIATOOOOO! on the victim) on Zhukov, and get the pin.

Winner: The Hart Foundation by pinfall with The Hart Attack at 0:17.
Rating: Dud – it’s a squash, and on an semi-established team like the Bolsheviks too. Bolsheviks, you have been Berried!

We get a brief video (narrated by a slightly hyperactive Vince McMahon) hyping that Wrestlemania VII will be at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. We then go backstage for an Okerlund Interview with Tito Santana.

The Barbarian (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. Tito Santana

Barbarian and Tito lock up, with Barbarian taking control early on with some strikes. Tito manages to gain control briefly with a high-cross body for a 2-count. Tito continues to wear him down with some rest holds side headlocks. Tito gets a 2-count off what could best be described as a springboard seated senton onto a standing Barbarian (not quite Dropping The Dime, but close). Shoulder-breaker by Barbarian, and then Barbarian goes up and goes for a rope-walking elbow drop but Tito’s got it scouted. Tito regains control, and continues with a series of no-sold strikes and standing drop-kicks. Running forearm by Tito for 2 (with The Weasel putting Barbarian’s foot on the rope). The Barbarian levels Tito again, and Barbarian goes up top. Flying LARIATOOOO!!!!! 1! 2! 3!

Winner: The Barbarian by pinfall with a Flying Lariat at 4:33.
Rating: ** – Another meh match. Not surprised though.

We get a quick video package hyping the upcoming Mixed Tag Match of Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire (w/ Miss Elizabeth) vs. “Macho King” Randy Savage & The Sensational Queen Sherri. (Savage adopted the title of “Macho King” after he won the King of the Ring.) Finally, we go to a Sean Mooney interview with Dusty Rhodes and Sapphire.

Mixed Tag Match: “Macho King Randy Savage & Sensational Queen Sherri vs. “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire (w/ The Lovely Miss Elizabeth)

As Sapphire and Dusty make their way down to the ring, we see a sign held up by some kids saying “Dusty & Sapphire”, printed on a dot-matrix printer, with the little side bits (with the holes) still intact. I now feel old. Anyway, Wrestlemania debuts of Sapphire, Dusty, and Sherri in a match. Quick summary of the rules of a mixed tag match – participants fight people of the same gender. If a guy tags in his female tag partner, the guy must leave the ring and his female tag partner must enter.

Anyway, Savage and Dusty start. Dusty takes control early on. Sherri comes in for a cheap shot against Dusty, but Dusty no sells it and backs Sherri into his corner, so Sapphire can get a shot at her. Savage goes up for a double axe handle, but Dusty catches him. Sherri runs in again, but Dusty tosses Randy at her. Dusy then tags in Sapphire and rolls out and tosses Sherri back in. Sapphire hits a series of hip bumps on Sherri before hitting an Airplane Spin slam for 1. Sapphire tags in Dusty, and in comes Savage. Savage gets worked over for a bit before he manages to send Dusty to the outside. Savage works over Dusty a little, and then goes up top and hits a pair of flying double-axe handle to the outside (with Sherri coming out and hitting Dusty a little.) Sapphire comes out and shields Dusty from a third, leading Savage to come down and toss her out of the way, before throwing Dusty into the ring and hitting a 3rd flying double axe-handle for a 2-count.

Savage manages to suplex Rhodes. While the ref’s back is turned, Savage takes his scepter and hits a flying foreign object-assisted double-axe handle. Savage fails to capitalize, instead going for a tag to Sherri, who hits a top-rope splash on Rhodes for a 2-count. Savage goes back up again for a 4th flying double axe-handle, but he Went To the Well Once Too Often ™ as Dusty catches him in the gut with a forearm. Dusty noggin-knocks Dusty and Savage. Dusty continues working over Savage, and Sherri applies a sleeper on Dusty, but Sapphire flips her over for a 2-count. (I’m not sure what else to call it).

So now, apparently, Sherri and Sapphire are now the legal women. Sherri slaps Sapphire and we have ourselves a cat fight. Sapphire trows Sherri back out and Elizabeth tosses her right back in. Sapphire hits a suplex and goes for a cover but only gets 2 before Savage breaks it up. Rhodes works over Savage, while Sapphire gets a roll-up on a distracted Sherri (who was arguing with Elizabeth) for 3.

Winner: Dusty Rhodes & Sapphire by pinfall with a roll-up at 7:30.
Rating: ** – Okay psychology, but not good wrestling.

After the match, Dusty, Sapphire, and Elizabeth dance to Dusty’s entrance music. Does this mean that 2-Cool stole this from Dusty’s time in the WWF? Anyway, we go to Okerlund who is with Heenan. Okerlund compares the numerous defeats of Heenan Family members to the fall of the Berlin wall. We then go to Gorilla & Ventura, who interview Rona Barrett. Next we go to Randy Savage & Sensational Sherri, who are interviewed by Sean Mooney. Then, we go back to Okerlund, who interviews Demolition. It must be intermission. Okerlund then interviews Hogan who practically describes himself a Christ-like figure, coming to grant salvation to The Ultimate Warrior. I wonder if we’re going to get a Warrior Interview this Wrestlemania.

Yep, we are. Sean Mooney gets this… honor. Mooney gets tossed away by the Woyah, as he’s just a “normal.” Warrior doesn’t just cut a promo, he wanders back and forth through the locker room, and gesticulates dramatically. In other words, he’s a ham. From what I can piece together, he’s not going to destroy Hulkamania, he’s going to join it with the Warriors and rule all of New York, Can You Dig Ittttttttt – er, wait, wrong movie. Yeah, he’s rambling and nearly incomprehensible, though at least parts of this promo made some vague semblance of sense.

The Orient Express (Sato and Tanaka w/ Mr. Fuji) vs. The Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty)

This is the Wrestlemania Debut of the Orient Express (and both members).

Jannetty and Tanaka start. Great tag team wrestling by both teams. The Rockers send the Express to the outside, and then hit slingshot planchas on both. Tanaka and Jannetty lock back up again. Tanaka whips Jannetty and Fuji hooks the top rope with his cane to send Marty to the outside, where he an Tanaka work Jannetty over. Tanaka tags Sato, who works over Marty a little and tags Tanaka back in, before Marty manages to make the tag. Double Sweet Chin Music by the Rockers.

Michaels bodyslams Tanaka and then hits a backdrop before Sato gets tagged in. Michaels hits a big neckbreaker. Michaels gets whipped to the ropes and Tanaka catches him with a kick. Sato connects with a gutwrench stomach breaker. Tanaka comes back in, hits a flying cross-body. Sato gets tagged in, gets a big flying knee drop for 2, then works the Trapezius over before tagging in Tanaka. Tanaka works Michaels over a bit (and is probably thinking “I thought Marty was supposed to be the Ricky Morton”).

Shawn manages to floor Tanaka with a standing drop kick, and barely manages to make the tag, and Marty comes in like a house on fire. Big Back elbow on Tanaka, followed by a double noggin knocker. Marty covers Tanaka, gets 2, rolls out of the way as Sato goes for an elbow, causing Tanaka to get hit instead of Marty. Sato gets double-drop kicked out of the ring and Tanaka gets double back-dropped. Marty goes up, as does Shawn. Fuji hits Marty in the leg with his cane, and Marty goes to pursue, but gets caught in the face with salt by Marty. Marty stumbles over the railing to the outside, which I guess makes this Take A Rocker Home Night at the Skydome. Finally, the ref counts out Marty.

Winner: The Orient Express by count-out at 7:36.
Rating: *** – Some nice tag wrestling. I would have liked to have gotten a finish though.

We then go backstage to Steve Allen, who is with Rhythm & Blues (Honky Tonk Man & Greg “The Hammer” Valentine).

Dino Bravo (w/ “The Mouth Of The South” Jimmy Hart & Earthquake) vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Start: 2:07:56. Finish: 2:12:08.
I’m expecting a Bizarro World reaction here, since Duggan is from the US and is a True American, and Dino’s from Quebec. I’m not getting it considering that the crowd is loving Duggan, and chanting along with the Hoooos but not the USA chants (for obvious reasons). I would hope that in modern Canada, the audience would have a little more sense and boo Duggan.

Duggan takes control early on with a lot of strikes and not a lot of actual wrestling. Duggan hits a back drop and sends Dino out of the ring, sends him back in, and hits an Atomic Drop. Bravo regains control with a big plate of chops. Duggan needs to cut back by the way, he’s putting on weight. Bravo hits an elbow drop for 2. Duggan finally regains control with a couple of punches, but Dino takes control back with a knee lift. Both men trade offense. Duggan hits a series of lariats on Dino. Duggan goes for the 3-Point-Stance tackle, but Earthquake grabs his leg. Earthquake and Duggan scrap for a bit, and the ref tries to break it up, while Jimmy grabs Duggan’s 2-by-4 and tosses it to Dino. However, Duggan gets the wood first, clocks Dino with it, and gets the pin.

Winner: Hacksaw Jim Duggan by pinfall with a foreign object shot at 4:12
Rating: * – Not a good match, not a good match at all. Duggan, frankly, sucks.

After the match, Earthquake cleans Duggan’s clock, and we get a video package for the Ted DiBiase & Jake Roberts feud and an Okerlund interview with Jake.

Million Dollar Championship Match – “Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase (w/ Virgil) vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts

Jake and Ted start out with some even offense, before Roberts finally takes control, working over Jake’s arm. DiBiase reverses it, but Jake uses DiBiase’s momentum to send him out of the ring. Jake sends Ted back in, and works him over a bit, before he misses a high knee, allowing Jake to regain control. While Ted’s got Jake in a side headlock we’re getting The Wave in the Skydome.

DiBiase sends Jake outside the ring, works him over a bit there, and then sends him back in and hits a piledriver. DiBiase stops to taunt, goes for a cocky pin, gets 2 and Jake reverses it into a 2-count of his own. DiBiase locks on the Million Dollar Dream on Roberts, but Robert gets a foot on the ropes. DiBiase goes for a pin, gets 2 before Roberts gets a foot on the rope again. DiBiase gets 2-count off one more pin attempt, and DiBiase goes up top, goes for a double axe-handle but Roberts has it scouted. The audience is chanting DDT. Roberts hit a series of lariats and clotheslines on DiBiase before signaling for the clotehsline. DiBiase hangs on to the ref, and Virgil drags Roberts out of the ring. Roberts clocks Virgil. DiBiase locks the Million Dollar Dream on Roberts on the outside for a few seconds before rolling back into the ring to beat the count.

Winner: “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase by count-out at 11:50 and is the new Million Dollar Champion.
Rating: *** – I couldn’t see much more of the match, frankly – the camera was paying too much attention to the wave.

After the match, DiBiase gets beat down by Roberts, with the DDT. We then go backstage to Mooney who interviews Slick & Akeem, who split with Big Boss Man after Bossman turned face after refusing to take Ted DiBiase’s money. Finally, we get an Okerlund interview with the Big Boss Man.

Akeem (w/ Slick) vs. Big Boss Man

Prior to the match, DiBiase clotheslines Boss Man and smacks him around a little bit. Boss man finally gets sent in, and apparently the match has started, though I didn’t hear a bell. Akeem smacks him around, But Bossman regains control and smacks Akeem from pillar to post. As it is, I just noticed that Big Boss Man has the confederate flag on his right sleeve – take that as you will. Boss Man hits the Boss Man Slam (spinning side powerslam) and gets the pin.

Winner: Big Boss Man by pinfall with the Boss Man Slam at (time=I don’t have a bloody clue).
Rating: Dud – A bad match, with little pacing.

After the match, we get a musical performance by Rhythm and Blues, and are driven down to the ring in a pink caddy. Side note, this is technically the Wrestlemania debut (though in a non-wrestling capacity) of Page Falkenberg, as the driver of the Caddy. He would later become more well known as “Diamond” Dallas Page. In short, the song “Honky Love” sucks. I just kept the thing muted. The nice thing about modern wrestling, is if we had something like this in the Modern WWF or in ECW, it would be cut short with “Stone Cold” Steve Austin (or 911 if this was old-school ECW) coming down to the ring and giving just about all the participants involved a Stunner or Chokeslam, respectively. Though, in this case, it gets interrupted after getting most of the way through the song by the Bushwhackers. Rhythm & Blues make a break for it, and the Bushwhackers decide to do their Pete Townshend impression with Rhythm & Blues guitars. We get this surreal shot of the crowd with hundreds of fans doing the Bushwhackers Arm Marching Gesture Thing, with a bunch of guys in the lower left corner of the screen wearing tuxedos with Ultimate Warrior Facepaint on.

“Ravishing” Rick Rude (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka

For this match we are joined on color commentary by Steve Allen. This is Snuka’s first Wrestlemania match. Rude (who is more tan then Snuka) takes control early on. Snuka is more muscular then Rude. He’s more muscular than he was when he had his famous cage match with Don Muraco! He’s Scott Steinered! Snucka dropkicks Rude clean out of the ring. Rude goes for a sunset flip but Snucka hangs on to the top rope. Rude regains control wit ha snap suplex, and hits a big back drop of his own.

Steve Allen: I like Jimmy Snuka because he’s wearing my wife’s underwear.
Me: .

Rude hits a shoulder tackle on Snuka and then Snuka hits one of his own. Snuka goes up top for the Splash, but Rude gets up so Shuka aborts with a leap over Rude. Snuka continues to work over Rude. Snuka plants Rude with a big bodyslam and goes back up, goes for the flying headbutt, but Rude sat up and Snuka eats canvas. Rude connects with the Rude Awakening (shoulder neckbreaker), a Wrestlemania first, and gets the pin.

Winner: “Ravishing” Rick Rude by pinfall with the Rude Awakening at 3:50.
Rating: *** – Okay, though I would have preferred Snuka in his prime over Big Poppa Pump Snuka.

Steve heads to the back as we get a recap video for the Ultimate Challenge.

Title For Title Match – The Ultimate Warrior (WWF Intercontinental Champion) vs. Hulk Hogan (WWF World Heavyweight Champion).

The crowd is pumped for a match that has the potential to stink the building up to high heaven. They may want to open the roof to let the smell out. The two men give each other a shove and lock up. Warrior shoves Hogan away, and then vice versa. Is it just me, or is it that even though Hogan’s bigger, Warrior looks more ‘roided. Warrior and Hogan go for a test of strength. Hogan is brought to his knees, but powers his way back up, and then forces the Warrior down. Warrior forces his way back to his feet, and Hogan uses an armlock to bring down the Warrior and goes for the elbow drop for 2. Hogan and Warrior criss-cross and Hogan gets a bodyslam that is no sold. Warrior gets a slam on Hogan, who does sell. Warrior clotheslines Hogan to the floor. Hogan sells this like death (rather with a injured left knee). Warrior goes out and stomps on Hogan a bit to stop the count.

Warrior tosses Hogan back in the ring. Warrior works over Hogan’s knee a little. Hogan regains control with some big right hands and offense, and apparently Hogan has decided to stop selling the knee. Hogan gets Warrior in the turnbuckle and hits the mounted punches. Gorilla does a good job compensating for Hogan’s sudden cession of selling the knee. Hogan hits 3 elbows for 2. Hogan locks on a front facelock into a small package for 2. Hogan continues working over the Warrior. Hogan bounces off the ropes… LARIATOOOO!!! 1! 2! Kick out!

Hogan hits a backbreaker for another 2. Hogan’s got a reverse chinlock applied. . Hogan hits a suplex for 2. Hogan locks the reverse chinlock on once again. Warrior powers out of the hold with a series of big elbows to the gut, and Warrior bounces off the ropes, and both men end up Lariat/Clothesling each other (Hogan’s was a clothesline because he was stationary, Warrior’s is a Lariat because he was running). Ref Dave Hebner starts counting. He reaches 9 before Warrior sits up. Warrior is Warrior-ing up on the ropes (his power-up no-sell thing). Warrior hits a series of lariats on Hogan. Hogan gets whipped from pillar to post. The face paint is off the face of Warrior from all the sweat and blows to the face. Warrior gets 2 off a suplex.

Warrior applies a rest hold bear-hug, which is probably the only hold the Warrior knows. Hogan hulks out of the hold. Warrior bounces off the ropes, Hogan ducks and we get a ref bump. Warrior hits a series of flying double-axe handles on Hogan. Warrior goes for a tackle and blows the spot misses. Hogan gets the cover, but Hebner’s still out. Belly to back suplex by the Warrior. Warrior gets the cover, but Hebner’s still out. Hebner comes to just in time for Hogan to kick out. Hogan gets a roll-up but Warrior kicks out at 2. Hogan back-elbows Warrior clean out of the ring. Both men fight on the outside. They finally roll back in to avoid the 10 count.

Warrior hits a weak looking clothesline, and signals for the press slam. Warrior hits the gorilla press slam and the Warrior Splash, but Hogan kicks out! Now Hogan Hulks Up! Hogan connects with the big boot and goes for the leg drop, misses. Warrior goes for the splash again and gets the pin!

Winner: The Ultimate Warrior by pinfall with the Warrior Splash at 23:54, and retains the WWF Intercontinental Championship, and is the new WWF World Heavyweight Championship.
Rating: *** – Perfectly acceptable Wrestling, which is more then you’d expect from any match with Ultimate Warrior.

After the match, Hogan presents Warrior with the World Championship, puts over Warrior (and Warrior puts over Hogan) and Hogan walks to the back. We get our first Wrestlemania championship victory pyro. Hell, we get our first Wrestlemania pyro.

Overall: *** – Not a great card, but not a crap card either. So far, Wrestlemania has been fairly mediocre, which, considering it’s meant to be the “Super Bowl of Wrestling” is not a good sign.

Wrestlemania V

I’m doing a few different things with this Wrestlemania recap. By this time Wrestlemania had become a big deal, as had Wrestlemania Debuts, so from here on I’ll be keeping track of Wrestlemania Debuts. A few people of note who debuted at Wrestlemanias prior to this: Bret Hart and “Macho Man” Randy Savage at Wrestlemania II, Ted DiBiase & The Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania IV.

Prior to Wrestlemania V, the gold had gotten between the Mega Powers, with the two men’s egos both backstage and on screen colliding, leading to a heel turn by Savage. Furthermore, the Intercontinental Title, once held by Honky Tonk Man in his legendary title reign, was lost to the Ultimate Warrior in about 45 seconds, completely burying HTM. Finally, the Hart Foundation turned face, and turned on their former manager, Jimmy Hart. Furthermore, Ted DiBiase, after continually failing to win or buy the WWF Heavyweight Championship, decided to introduce his own belt instead – the diamond-encrusted Million Dollar Championship. Also, Demolition turned face when Mr. Fuji turned on them, instead siding with the tag team of the Powers of Pain (The Barbarian and The Warlord).

Now, we come to April 2, 1989, and Wrestlemania V, again returning to Trump Plaza at Atlantic City. Leading us in, singing “America The Beautiful” is WWF Women’s Champion, Rockin’ Robin. While she works her way through the song the song, let’s think for a moment. Rockin’ Robin is the WWF Women’s Champion. She’s not defending the belt. She is, however, singing “America The Beautiful” which has previously been sung by Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin.

Our hosts this evening are once again Jesse “The Body” Ventura on color commentary and Gorilla Monsoon doing Play-by-play announcing, as we go to our opening match.

King Haku (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. Hercules

After King Harley Race left the WWF, Haku (who was also managed by Heenan) inherited his gimmick. I don’t recall if he won the King of the Ring as part of the process. Herc, on the other hand, was sacked from the Heenan Family and turned face.

Haku gets Herc from behind, but Herc regains control early on and gets some big offense on Haku. Herc clotheslines Haku out of the ring. Herc hits a couple of elbow-drops on Haku before Heenan provokes Herc, causing him to come out and attack chase after Heenan, allowing Haku to sneak up Herc and take him out. Haku gets a 2-count off a repeated backbreaker (2 backbreakers in a row. Haku locks on a bear-hug, but Herc manages to power out before Haku hits a low blow and chokes Herc on the ropes. Herc sent for a ride, reverses and hits a high-cross body for 2. Haku gets whipped to the corner, reverses and goes for a springboard cross body but Herc ducks. Herc regains control with a series of lariats. Herc hits a powerslam for 2. Herc goes up top and goes for a flying double-axe handle but Haku hits a crescent kick to the mush. Herc goes behind and bridges a belly-to-back suplex for the pin.

Winner: Hercules by pinfall with a bridging Belly-To-Back Suplex at 6:49.
Rating: *** – Herc finally gets a decent match… but to be fair that’s because Haku carried the match.

We then go backstage to Gene Okerlund with The Rockers – Shawn Michaels and Marty Jannetty, making their Wrestlemania debut. To be honest, I couldn’t recognize Michaels at first because of his hair. I wonder if HBK looks back on his look in this promo and laughs at it the way Bono does at his mullet from the 80s.

The Twin Towers (The Big Boss Man & Akeem – w/ Slick) vs. The Rockers (Shawn Michaels & Marty Jannetty)

Akeem is One Man Gang, but with a new gimmick – that OMG was actually black and was trying to embrace his African heritage with the help of Slick. That’s another for the Wrestlecrap archive (if it’s not there already). Big Boss Man, also making his Wrestlemania debut, has a prison-guard-turned-pro-wrestler gimmick, which, in this rare case, is actually slightly accurate.

Michaels and Bossman start out. Marty distracts Bossman, allowing Michaels to hit a missile drop kick from behind. Bossman gets worked over a bit more before he tags in Akeem. Akeem dances his way over to Michaels, and Michaels responds with a Moonwalk. Michaels wrings Akeem’s arm, tags in Jannetty, and the two keep tagging in and out, while working over Akeem’s arm. Bossman manages to get the blind tag and finally regains control with Morton-er-Jannetty the legal man. After beating the snot out of Jannetty for a bit, Akeem goes for a avalanche on the ropes (with Bossman holding him), but Jannetty manages to slip out of the way, causing Akeem to level Bossman. Jannetty finally gets the tag to Michaels who is a house on fire! The Rockers double team Akeem, with Michaels getting a 2-count off a Double Flying Shoulder Block. However, once the ref regains control, Akeem levels Michaels with a big lariat. Bossman gets tagged in, goes up and goes for a big splash but misses, and Michaels gets 2. Bossman goes to powerbomb Michaels, but You Can’t Powerbomb Michaels! Jannetty and Michaels double-dropkick Akeem, and then land the Double Missile Dropkick on Big Boss Man. Michaels goes for the pin but Akeem breaks it up at 2. Michaels goes for a big seated senton on the standing Bossman, but Bossman reverses it into a Powerbomb (okay, so Maybe You Can Powerbomb Michaels). Bossman tags in Akeem, Akeem hits Air Africa (Standing Splash) and gets the pin.

Winner: The Twin Towers by pinfall with an Air Africa by Akeem at 8:07.
Rating: ** – Nice tag team work from The Rockers, not so much from the Twin Towers. Not a great match, but not horrible either… and frankly, if these guys never faced each other again we wouldn’t be missing anything.

We then go backstage to Tony Shiavone… yes, that Tony Shiavone. “Can’t tell the difference between a Spinebuster or a Sidewalk Slam” Tony Shiavone. Apparently Vince hired him away from Jim Crockett Promotions for a bit. He’s interviewing backstage, so I’m not complaining. Anyway, he’s interviewing “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase (wearing the Million Dollar Championship) & Virgil. This is the first time I’ve actually seen the Million Dollar Championship being worn, and I have to say that the Million Dollar Belt blows every piece of bling I’ve ever seen a rapper wear out of the water.

Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake vs. “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase (w/ Virgil)

DiBiase and Beefcake both use a sleeper hold as their finishers. DiBiase admonishes Beefcake and Beefcake responds with a right hand and some big offense as Virgil clears the ring with the belt. Beefcake hits a big series of bodyslams before throwing DiBiase out of the ring. DiBiase regains control and gets a 2-count off a fist drop. DiBiase gets another 2-count off a jumping stomp. Beefcake tries to regain control with a small package but only gets 2. DiBiase locks on the Million Dollar Dream (DiBiase’s version of a sleeper hold) but Beefcake grabs the ropes. Then Beefcake locks on the sleeper, but Virgil drags Beefcake out of the ring and works him over while DiBiase distracts the ref. DiBiase follows Beefcake out of the ring and they fight on the outside, but they stay out there too long, as the ref calls for the bell.

Winner: None – Double Count-out at 10:02.
Rating: ** – Not a great match, again Beefcake just isn’t a good singles wrestler. DiBiase tried to carry him but ultimately he just couldn’t cover for the fact that Beefcake sucks horribly.

We then go to a previously recorded Interview with Lord Alfred Hayes at the Wrestlemania brunch with the Bushwhackers, hyping their match against the Fabulous Rougeaus.

The Fabulous Rougeaus (Jacques & Raymond Rougeau – w/ “The Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart) vs. The Bushwhackers (Luke Williams and Butch Miller)

This is the Wrestlemania debut of the Bushwhackers. Their gimmick can be summarized as “We’re from rural New Zealand, so we don’t know how to be ‘civilized’ and have a very strange walk.”. I’ll let the Kiwi’s of RPG.net decide what they think of that. Their ring attire may be familiar to fans of the Dudley Boys during their WWF run – Urban camo cargo pants, combat boots and muscle shirts.

The Bushwhackers chase the Rougeaus and Jimmy Hart out of the ring early on. The Bushwhackers chase Jimmy and the Rougeaus out of the ring, but not before stealing Jimmy’s coat. The Rougeaus slide back in for the save and Jimmy quickly dashes in to retrieve his attire, but not fast enough as the Bushwhackers whip the Rougeaus into Jimmy, forcing him out of the ring, still, apparently without his coat. Butch puts Luke in a headlock and rams Luke’s head into Raymond Rougeau, in what is apparently called a Battering Ram. Luke is apparently the legal man for the Bushwhackers and goes for the pin, Jacques goes for a knee drop to break it up but Luke rolls out of the way, causing Jacques to hit Raymond. The Rougeaus double-team Luke, who appears to be the Ricky Morton for the Bushwhackers. Luke goes for the tag but Raymond chops Butch off the apron. Jacques locks an abdominal stretch on Luke. The Rougeaus spend a bit too much time posing for the crowd, so the Bushwhackers recover, and hit a Battering Ram on Luke, before hitting a double-stomach breaker and getting the pin.

Winner: The Bushwhackers by pinfall with a Double Stomachbreaker at 5:11.
Rating: Nice psychology and tag team wrestling from both sides. You know, the Bushwhackers could have done fine without the “stupid” part of the gimmick, just keep the “sheepherders from rural New Zealand that like to brawl” part and you could have done just fine.

After the match we go to Jason Mooney along the entrance aisle who was going to speak with some fans before the Bushwhackers came up and, basically, molested him (by molested we mean licked).

”Mr. Perfect” Curt Henning vs. The Blue Blazer

This is the Wrestlemania debut not only of Henning, but also of The Blue Blazer – or more specifically, Owen Hart.

Ventura says this is going to be a fantastic match and I certainly hope he’s right. Excellent chain wrestling between Owen and Curt. Owen does a beautiful flip-over counter from a hip toss to a series of body slams before drop-kicking Curt to the outside, and then hitting Curt with a baseball slide. Owen hits a series of European uppercuts before sending Curt back in and works over Curt with an armbar. Curt backs Owen and hits Owen with some big chops in the corner, before Owen breaks out and lands a hip toss. Another standing drop kick by Owen. Owen gets a backbreaker for 1. Another suplex for 1. Body slam by Owen and Owen goes up. Owen goes for a big splash, but Curt gets the knees up. Curt locks on a reverse chinlock. Curt releases the hold and whips Owen in the corner and goes for a running shoulder, but Owen gets a boot up. Powerslam by Owen for 1. Belly-to-belly suplex by Owen for 2. Owen gets a crucifix for 2. Owen’s too busy arguing with the ref to pay attention to Curt, so Curt gets the Perfect-Plex (Fisherman Suplex) for 3.

Winner: Mr. Perfect by pinfall with the Perfect-Plex at 5:47.
Rating: *** – I want re-match! Clap clap clap-clap-clap!

We then get a vignette for with Lord Hayes & Mr. Fuji, with Fuji participating in the 10 K run as part of Wrestlemania weekend, with Fuji cheating by giving himself a head start. After that we go to Run DMC performing the Wrestlemania Rap. (Run DMC would later perform a later version of D-X’s entrance music.) After this we get a brief video package involving Fuji’s betrayal of Demolition, the ensuing beat-down of Fuji, and Fuji joining forces with The Powers Of Pain. This leads to Gene Okerlund interview with Demolution

Handicap Match for the WWF Tag Team Championship – Demolition (Axe & Smash) (c) vs. The Powers of Pain (The Warlord, The Barbarian & Mr. Fuji)

So we’re getting the battle of the Road Warrior-alikes. I wonder, if the Powers of Pain win, will the WWF be adopting the Freebird Rule (that the tag team title can be defended by any 2-members of a 3-man team). Warlord and Axe start, with Axe tacking control early, before tagging in Smash. Demolition proceeds to get in some nice tag-team offense in. Smash briefly gets Morton’d, before Smash makes the tag to Axe, and the Barbarian ends up finding himself Heel-In-Peril. (What the hell do we call it when the Ricky Morton is a heel?)

Warlord tags in Barbarian, and Demolition works him over for a bit, before The Powers of Pain finally get control and decide to Ricky Morton Axe. Finally Fuji gets tagged in and Fuji pounds the crap out of Axe, before tagging in Warlord. Warlord gets a 2-count after a double-axe handle. Warlord powerslams Axe and Fuji goes up and goes for a top-rope leg drop but missed. Fuji tags in Barbarian before Axe can reach smash. Barbarian goes for a lariat, Axe ducks and responds with one of his own, and tags in Smash and comes in like a house-on-fire. Demolition Stun Guns Warlord on the top rope. All 5 men end up in the ring, and we get Smash held in an full nelson by Barbarian, and Axe fighting on the outside with Warlord, and Fuji in the ring with some salt. Fuji goes to throw the salt at Smash, but Axe manages to slip down and Warlord gets the salt to the face instead. Smash hits a big lariat on Fuji and sets up the Demolition Decapitation for 3.

Winner: Demolition wins by pinfall with the Demolition Decapitation at 8:53 and retain the WWF Tag Team Championship.
Rating: *** – A nice tag team match. For a tag team that can’t really wrestle, Demolition’s pretty good. The Powers of Pain did okay too, though I don’t think they could do well in solo contests.

Dino Bravo (w/ Frenchy Martin) vs. “Rugged” Ronny Garvin

Garvin is a face making his Wrestlemania debut, and is already in the ring before the heel arrives and doesn’t get a intro – squash. Before the start of the match, Jimmy Snucka comes down to ringside.

Dino attacks Garvin from behind. Dino hits a body-slam, followed by an elbow-drop and a series of shots to the kidneys of Garvin before catching Garvin in a bearhug. Garvin has had no offense to speak of. Dino gets a 2-count off a cocky pin. Garvin tries to escape from a powerbomb with blows to the head causing Dino to go down and Garvin to get a 2-count. (I’m not going to do the “You Can’t Powerbomb” thing here – I’ve already done it once, and I try to be consistent). Garvin starts to work up some basic offense on Dino, and the audience is just about dead. Rolling cradle on Dino for 2. Garvin locks a sleeper on Dino for a few seconds. Garvin goes for a piledriver, Dino reverses it into a backdrop which is reversed into a sunset flip for 2. Garvin goes for the mounted punches but Dino powers out and hits a Sidewalk Slam which Gorilla Monsoon, of all people, miscalls as a Side Suplex. Dino gets the cover and the pin.

Winner: Dino Bravo by pinfall with a Sidewalk Slam at 3:54.
Rating: ** – It was basically a squash.

After the match, Garvin beats down Frenchy Martin.

The Brain Busters (Tully Blanchard & “The Enforcer” Arn Anderson – w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. Strike Force (Rick Martel & Tito Santana)

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This is the Wrestlemania debut of Blanchard and Anderson (who were also 1/2 of the original Four Horsemen).

Martel and Tully start out. Great chain wrestling between the two. Both Brain Busters and members of Strike Force get in the ring, and duke it out for a bit, before we end up with Martel and Anderson. Martel gets a series of 2-counts before Anderson locks on a body-scissors, but Martel rolls it over into a Boston Crab, forcing Anderson to break out and tag in Tully, with Martel doing the same to Santana. Santana bulldogs Tully, and goes to lock on the Figure 4 Leglock, which must be an odd situation for Tully Blanchard. Santana locks it on, and Martel locks one on Anderson. Anderson thumbs Santana in the eye, forcing him to break his hold, and the ref makes Martel break his hold on Arn.

Santana goes for a backslide pin but Arn breaks it up. The Busters go for a double back drop but Santana has it scouted and gives them both a boot to the head (shoomp). Santana gets a small package on Tully, but Tully kicks out. Santana tags in Martel when Tully went for a atomic drop. Santana goes for a flying cross-body, but Tully ducks it, causing Santana to hit Martel instead. Furthermore the ref didn’t see the tag. Martel is out at ringside, leaving Santana alone in the ring with the Brain Busters. Tully tags in Arn. The Busters go for a double team move, (whipping Santana into Arn’s knee, stuck through the ropes), but Santana reverses it so Tully eats knee instead. Tully tags in Arn. Santana sunset flips Arn, but Arn’s too close to his corner and tags in Tully. Tito finally hits the cross-body on Tully but Tully kicks out at 2 and tags in Arn. Tito finds himself in the familiar position of the Ricky Morton (which, now that I think about it, he’s been in ever since Rick tagged him in. Anderson goes up top, but Tito catches him and throws him off. Tito goes to get the tag from Martel, but Martel releases the tag rope and walks away from the corner and leaves for the back, leaving Santana for the wolves – er, Brain Busters. Anderson hits the Spinebuster and tags in Tully, who struts, styles and profiles and gets caught with a fist to the face, followed by some quick offense which gets shut down by the Busters. Blanchard tags Anderson back in and the Busters hit the spike piledriver for the pin.

Winner: The Brain Busters by pinfall with the spike piledriver at 9:15.
Rating: *** – A good tag match between two very good teams. I’d love to see these guys go a little longer (say, 5 more minutes).

We go backstage to Okerlund who is with Martel, who would like to take a moment to cement his heel turn. Okerlund is pissed off at Martel. By the way, we get this nice little pearl between Gorilla and Jesse after that interview.

Jesse: “Law’s are made to be broken” – that’s another Jesse Proberb.
Gorilla: I’m sorry I’m here to hear that.
Me: – Ooohh, burn.We go back to the ring, where the ring has been covered with a new… tartan themed covering, with a few chairs in the ring. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. It’s time for the triumphant return of…

Piper’s Pit

In an amusing tease, Brother Love (another manager, with an obnoxious televangelist gimmick, who is making his Wrestlemania Debut) comes out first dressed as Piper. By dressed up I mean he’s painted hi face red and is wearing a kilt with suspenders instead of pants. And by kilt I mean a plaid skirt. Brother Love tries to hijack the Pit by playing both himself and Piper, and then introducing his other guest, Morton Downey Jr.. For those who don’t want to click the link, he’s the guy who played the obnoxious journalist in Predator 2, and acted pretty much the same way in real life. Brother Love asks a few questions before Piper Himself comes down, and Piper Is Not Amused. Piper hilariously confronts Brother Love while Downey flicks cigarette butts all over the ring.
As an hidden highlight by the way, Morton bounces a cigarette off of Piper’s head – so far they’ve all been hitting Brother Love or the mat, so Piper hasn’t really cared. Piper stops verbally ripping Brother Love a new one to pick up the cigarette and glare at it with outright contempt, before folding it in half with one hand and flicking it away. For that matter, Downey keeps attempting to do the equivalent of tearing a piece of paper slowly on stage to keep the audiences attention on him, and not on the actual actors on center stage, to the point that when his attempts to flick cigarettes around aren’t getting Love and Piper’s attention anymore, he lights a match and holds it between the two before it goes out, leading to Piper giving Downey himself a Glare Of Utter Contempt (and that one’s Probably A Shoot, Brother).
Piper tears his attention away from Brother Love to Downey, who has now earned his ire, and Downey blows smoke in his face several times after being asked not to, as well as insulting Piper’s mother (implying that he (Downey) is Piper’s biological brother by another father, which can be interpreted as a back-handed way of saying “Your mother is a slut”), and calling his kilt a skirt. Finally, Piper’s has enough and he can’t stand no more, so Piper blasts him in the face with a fire extinguisher. On his way back up the ramp, Piper indicates (via gesture) that Downey can kiss his ass.

We then to backstage to Okerlund who hypes the film “No Holds Barred” and gives us a trailer, which makes it appear to be the bastard child of a super hero film and a wrestling film. We get a brief interview with Donald Trump, and then a video package for the Savage-Hogan feud, into a Okerlund interview (and a long one) with Hogan on the feud. I think we’ve been going for half an hour since we had any actual wrestling on this show.

Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs. Andre The Giant (w/ Bobby Heenan) – Special Referee: Big John Studd

Andre attacks Roberts as soon as he gets in the ring, and rams Jake’s head into the turnbuckle… which happens to be conveniently missing a turnbuckle pad. We get another quotable quote from Gorilla and Ventura as Andre locks a sleeper on Jake.

(Gorilla and Ventura are discussing Jake’s chances – Jesse doesn’t think they’re good)
Gorilla: Well, have you heard the story of David & Goliath.
Jesse: Yeah, but David used a foreign object.

Andre pounds the crap out of Jake for a while, before Jake finally gets some offense in with a chop, and a series of kicks that leads to an Andre Spot (Andre hooked in the ropes while Jake wails on him). Andre gets free and regains control with a one-handed choke. Andre works Jake over, finally knocking him out of the ring, and preventing him from getting back in just enough that Studd gets in his face. While Studd is chewing out Andre, Jake heads over and gets Damien (his snake) – still in his bag. However, before Jake can release Damien, Ted DiBiase and Virgil run in and swipe Damien, and then make a break for it, with Jake in hot pursuit. While Jake attacks DiBiase, Andre attacks Studd. As Andre chokes Studd, Jake retrieves Damien and returns to the ring, releasing him from the bag, causing Andre to panic and flee the ring (as all wrestlers, dontchaknow, are afraid of snakes.) Once Studd recovers, he calls for the DQ.

Winner: Jake “The Snake” Roberts by DQ, due to attacking the referee, at 9:40
Rating: ** – Not crap, not great, just meh.

After the match we go backstage with Tony Shiavone for an interview with Sensational Sherrie. I hate to sound catty, but that hair and makeup really don’t compliment her at all.

Greg “The Hammer” Valentine & The Honky Tonk Man (w/ “The Mouth Of The South” Jimmy Hart) vs. The Hart Foundation (Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart & Bret “Hitman” Hart)

Anyway, Bret and HTM start. Hidden highlight from Bret – before he locks up with HTM, he eyes Jimmy, sort of like he’s trying to see what shenanigans Jimmy will pull, since he used to be managed by Jimmy. Nice chain wrestling between Bret and HTM. 2-count off a rolling cradle by Bret, leading to a pair of Atomic Drops, both inverted and regular. HTM tags in Greg, who gets his own Inverted Atomic Drop, and then a drop kick. Greg finds himself on the wrong side of the tracks.

Bret tags in Jim, and then sends Greg for the ride before slingshotting Jim over the top rope into a sort of flying shoulder tackle on Greg for a 2-count. Jim tags Bret back in. Bret hits a back-breaker and goes for his 2nd rope elbow but Greg has it scouted and avoids the move, gaining control. Greg hits a series of elbow and fist drops on Bret, before whipping Bret into hostile territory and tagging in HTM. Nice Fireman’s carry suplex by HTM. HTM tags in Greg again. Greg decides to mold Bret’s facial features into something more resembling Ricky Morton. HTM tagged back in and he hits the Shake, Rattle & Roll (neckbreaker), a Wrestlemania first for HTM. Rather then go for a pin though, HTM tags in Greg. Greg goes to lock on the figure four, but Bret counters out. Greg works Bret over a little more, before HTM gets tagged in and Bret regains control with a Cross-Body out of an Irish Whip for an 2-count, the kick out of which manages to send Bret under the bottom rope and onto the floor.

HTM tags in Val, and Val goes for an Irish whip which Bret avoids, and gets the tag to Jim, who comes in like a House! En! Fuego! Jim hits a big series of drop-kicks on both Greg and HTM. Greg regains control quickly with a thumb to the eye, allowing him to tag in HTM, who isn’t able to stop Jim from regaining control again and tagging in Bret. Bret gets a big body slam and then hits the 2nd rope elbow drop. Big vertical suplex by Bret for 2. Greg gets in a verbal altercation with the ref while Jim “borrows” Jimmy Hart’s megaphone (without asking, of course) and then tosses it to Bret who clocks HTM with it. Bret makes the cover and gets the pin.

Winner: The Hart Foundation by pinfall with a foreign object shot at 7:40.
Rating: *** – A very nice match, between 4 very good wrestlers. In another promotion and another time we could have gotten a clinic out of these men, but all things considered this was a decent match and nothing to scoff at.

After the match we get a quick recap of the Ultimate Warrior/”Ravishing” Rick Rude feud – which could be summarized as Rick Rude was a sore loser in a pose-down against The Warrior, so he choked him out with a metal bar, causing Warrior to seek revenge. For all the faults of the modern wrestling business, we don’t have pose-downs anymore. We don’t start feuds with them, and we don’t end feuds with them (and for that matter, we don’t have feuds solely consist of them.

WWF Intercontinental Title Match: “Ravishing” Rick Rude (w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan) vs. The Ultimate Warrior (c)

Rude and Warrior start going at it even before the sound of the bell. Warrior goes for a lariat, Rude ducks it and goes for a knee to the gut, forgetting that Warrior is still wearing the belt. Warrior manhandles Rude. Not many wrestling moves, or holds, or even any noticeable power moves. Warrior just grabs Rude by the shoulders and tosses him across the ring. Warrior locks on a bear hug.

While Warrior has Rude locked in a rest hold (the bear hug) to stretch the match out a little, I’d like to point out Rude’s tights. Specifically the excellent airbrush job on both sides, the WWF Intercontinental title on the front, and the face of the Ultimate Warrior on the back, with the lips perfectly placed on the base of Rude’s bottom, almost as if to say, “Warrior can kiss my ass”. A very well done piece of artwork.

Rude now breaks out of the bear hug, and then delivers a hell of a missile drop-kick for .5 (translation: the only reason Warrior fell down after taking that move is because the laws of physics overruled his natural inclination not to sell – he’d no-sell gravity if he could get away with it). Rude locks the rest hold bear hug back on again. We get a weasel chant from the audience (they like Heenan more than Warrior)! Warrior gets tired of the bear hug and decides to bite Rude’s face instead. Warrior hits a back drop! We have an actual power move at about 4 minutes and 20 seconds in.

Warrior goes for the Warrior Splash, but Rude gets the knees up, which is not enough to keep Warrior on the mat for longer then 1 second, but does wind him enough to let Rude get up and get some offense in. Rude hits a few kicks and a piledriver. I smell a no-sell (well, a 2-count). Rude is selling the hell out of this match, to perhaps compensate for the certain lack of selling demonstrated by The Warrior. Rude locks on a sort of surf-board-ish hold on The Warrior that demonstrates that the veins in his arms are not only visible, but they’re huge! Warrior gets to the ropes and continues no-selling. Warrior regains control, works Rude over a bit, and then blows a backbreaker spot (in that he loses his balance) but that they manage to cover by having Rude send Warrior shoulder first into the ring post. Warrior sells this This stops Warrior for about 1 second before he returns to beating on Rude. Warrior clotheslines Rude inside out and onto the apron. Warrior suplexes Rude back in, but Heenan hangs on to Warriors feet, so Rude can work this into a cover and Warrior can’t break out.

Winner: Rick Rude wins by pinfall through shenanigans at 9:45 and is the new WWF Intercontinental Champion.
Rating: * – Rick Rude managed to save this match from 0 stars. He saved this match from Dud-dum. He sold for 2 men. I don’t think Warrior appreciates this – I doubt it. That said, this is an Ultimate Warrior match that ran on for almost 10 minutes. It should not have gone on this long. Boo. Hiss.

After the match, Heenan gets beat up by Warrior, who impressively botches a Press Slam, which while it doesn’t drop Heenan on his head or anything like that, it does drop him haphazardly on his tailbone, and Heenan is actually scheduled to wrestle tonight!

Bad News Brown vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan

God, why do you hate me? Of course, Brown is going to lose because he disagrees with Duggan, and thus hates Freedom. Brown works Duggan over for a bit, and then Duggan releases a “Hoooo” and then starts working over Brown. Both men work each other over in what can best be described as a brawl. As yet I have not seen a single hold from either man. I’d say that if this was in ECW it probably wouldn’t suck, or at least if it was under some variant of hardcore/extreme rules. Here in the WWF, on the other hand, there’s no hope. Finally, Brown grabs a chair, Duggan grabs his 2×4, they start wailing on each other, and the ref mercifuly calls for the bell. Why do you hate Freedom, ref?

Winner: Double DQ at 3:45.
Rating: Dud – These men were men before their time, in the sense that in the halcyon days of the mid-to-late 90’s, with ECW and the rise of Hardcore, this match could have been tolerable. That said, Sandman vs. New Jack would be better than this.

We go backstage with Gene Okerlund with the Red Rooster, who is wrestling Heenan.

Bobby “The Brain” Heenan (w/ The Brooklyn Brawler) vs. The Red Rooster

Start: 24:48. Finish: 25:10
This is the Wrestlemania debut of Terry Taylor (The Red Rooster) and the Brooklyn Brawler. What’s that I smell? It smells like… squash! Heenan gets no offense to speak of. When he does try offense, specifically a shoulder block in the corner), Taylor avoids it and then gets the pin.

Winner: The Red Rooster by pinfall at :32.
Rating: Dud – A no contest and a squash. Why?

We then to backstage to Okerlund who has an interview with The Lovely Elizabeth, who speaks! Elizabeth has her first Wrestlemania promo!

WWF Heavyweight Championship: “Macho Man” Randy Savage © vs. Hulk Hogan

It’s been a year since Hulk Hogan passed the torch to Macho Man after he beat DiBiase for the title. Now, it’s time for Hogan to ask for that torch back, for the first time. Macho stalls for time before locking up. Finally they lock up, and Hogan shoves Savage across the ring. They lock up again, Savage locks on a side headlock but gets sent for the ride and gets caught by a shoulder-block. Savage plays mind games with Hogan. Hogan actually uses some wrestling moves for once, transitioning from a drop-toe-hold to a front facelock.

Side suplex by Savage. Savage goes with a standing elbow drop but Hogan has it scouted and hits a series of punches. Hogan starts to work the arm of Savage before getting hit with a thumb to the eye. Savage goes up top and hits a flying double axe-handle for 2. Savage starts working over Hogan’s arm. Hogan finally breaks the hold by tossing Savage out of the ring. Hogan tosses Savage right back in and beats Savage from pillar to post. Hogan clotheslines Savages head off before hitting a series of elbow drops on Savage. Savage regains control with a thumb to the eye, and then hits a lariat for 2 that busts Hogan open. Savage locks on a sleeper.

Hogan breaks out and hits a shoulder block and then catches a kick and spins Savage around for an atomic drop, goes for the Leg Drop, but misses. Savage sends Hogan to the turnbuckle that was missing a pad and goes for a rollup for 2. Savage continues working over Hogan, and then slaps the spit out of Hogan’s mouth, invoking a Hulk Up. Hogan power-slams Savage clean out of the ring. Elizabeth helps Savage to his feet, and he confronts her, with Hogan coming out for the save. Both men brawl on the outside. Hogan picks up savage for a shoulder slam into the ring post, but Elizabeth prevents him from making the attack, allowing slip off and post Hogan. Elizabeth gets sent to the back by Hebner, with Hogan still on the outside. Savage goes back up and hits a flying double-axe handle on Hogan, and then rolls him back in the ring.

Savage guillotines Hogan on the top rope and then gets Hogan with a bronco buster on the 2nd rope. Savage bodyslams Hogan and hits a knee drop for 2. Savage pulls the tape off his wrist and chokes Hogan briefly behind the refs back. Savage then blatantly chokes Hogan, then goes up top for the Flying Elbow and connects. Savage gets the cover but Hogan kicks out at 2 and Hulks up. Torch please, Randy. Big Boot. Bionic Leg Drop. 3 Count.

Winner: Hulk Hogan by pinfall at 17:53 and is the new WWF Heavyweight Champion.
Rating: **** – Not a bad match actually, and I’d say that’s Hogan’s best match I’ve seen so far.

Well, that’s the show. A few little awards I’d like to give out after the show:

• I Don’t Get No Respect Award: Jimmy Hart: Not only did none of his guys win any matches, he got smacked round a couple times too.
• Dud of the night: Bad News Brown vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan. At least Heenan vs. Rooster was an amusing squash. This was just a pointless no-contest.
• The Atlas Award for carrying the match: Rick Rude, because Warrior sucks.
• Best Pleasant Surprise: Hogan using wrestling holds.